Carin Rockind, Author at Carin Rockind

January 9, 2018 By Carin Rockind Leave a Comment

Happy Monday: The Science of HOPE

This morning I'm feeling renewed hope that it's the best time to be alive. So, I'm super excited to introduce my new free weekly short video series for you to be happier, live your purpose and love your life: Happy Monday.

If you're like me, you dread Mondays. I love what I do for a living, but it can still feel like a drag getting out of bed on Monday and starting work again.

Yet, how we start our week makes the difference in how the week goes. Start your week frustrated, bitter, and angry and negativity will follow you. Start your week energized and motivated, you're more likely to achieve what you want.

So I'm excited to share my new weekly YouTube video series: Happy Monday. In these super short clips, I'll share how you can live your happiest, best week. Today's episode is all about HOPE. Hope ignites your goals to come to fruition. In this video, I share why and how to take advantage of the science of hope to make it a great week. Enjoy and please, share with friends.

With so much love,

Here's to a fabulous 2018!
Carin

January 2, 2018 By Carin Rockind Leave a Comment

Intense, Powerful, Beautiful Year

What was 2017 about for you? Which successes will become the building blocks for purpose next year? Which heartbreaks will fuel you forward for growth?

This has been an intense year for me and most people I know. The successes and heartbreaks mixed into powerful calls to become our most courageous, purposeful selves.

Personally, I had the greatest joy getting pregnant after 2 years of trying, only to miscarry a month later and experience the deepest pain I've ever known. As a global community, we've suffered major natural disasters, political upheaval, and mass uncertainty about human rights – AND we saw the world's largest women's march, many of us (like me) woke up and started calling senators, and thousands of people spoke their truth with #MeToo, finally bringing mass abuse to light.

We got fierce and strong and powerfully on purpose this year!

A few days ago, I wrote about my annual new year's ritual (click here if you didn't see it) and doing it highlighted a few lessons that I want to share:

1. We need each other. We can't do this alone.
I used to think it was weak to ask for help. I used to think that I was a “better” woman/human/coach/businessperson if I did everything myself. Unfortunately, it made me hard, bitter, and always a bit removed from true connection. But when I went through my miscarriage, I needed love and I needed help. One of trauma's great gifts is connection. So I did something I've never done: I let others in. I reached out to all of my friends and asked for support. I shared the truth with clients and let them hold me. I asked people I didn't know if I could use their home to get away by myself, I leaned into this community and others and allowed myself to be held. With all of this support, I not only healed, but I became softer – and in doing so, I actually became stronger.

Support was so important to me that I've been creating new support systems ever since: a MasterMind to support me and another MasterMind to support clients in their businesses, a Sisterhood of local women for deep connection, and I hired 2 new coaches for 2018.

We were never meant to do this life alone. Especially as women. For thousands of years, women gathered in circle to birth each other's babies, feed each other's children, and to hold one another through pain. That need to connect with other women is in our DNA. I'm doubling down on my women's circles for 2018 – and I'd love it if you join me in this promise to yourself.

2. The dark brings the light.
What looks like chaos, feels like heartbreak, and threatens your sense of fairness can make you infuriatingly mad – and can lead to immensely powerful change. I used to avoid, hide or run away from any darkness. I didn't want anyone to know that I too suffered from depression. I thought something was wrong with me for having anger, jealousy, resentment, and fear. I put a happy, perfect mask over very real pain because I just wanted light.

Well, if my life of 2 miscarriages, domestic abuse, divorce, gunpoint robbery, and more has taught me anything – it's that darkness brings the light. Every challenge is an opportunity to RISE to the occasion with courage. When you live on purpose:

You use pain for purpose.
You allow darkness to crack open the light.
You get fierce and you get busy to make change happen.

Rather than hide or numb your pain, lean into it with love and compassion. Feel the shame, guilt, sadness, anger, and regret – feel it all, and then let that intense feeling signal to you how important your purpose is. Everything is part of your story. It would be a boring story if there was no pain, no failure, no challenge. The challenges make us resilient and strong and courageous. The challenges make us heroes.

This year has made me more dedicated than ever to empower every woman to reclaim her power, speak her voice and live her true purpose. If you're down with this mission, join me and let's create a fierce, f'ing fabulous revolution!

3. We are needed NOW
In a world with so much need, you have no more time to waste in a job you hate or a life that depletes you. If you have writing talent but you're too afraid to start your blog, how are you serving the world or making yourself happy by holding back? If you've wanted to be in a leadership position, but you've been afraid to go for it because you may be rejected, what message are you sending to your kids and neighbors about courage and power? As my favorite quote by Marianne Williamson says:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

What energizes you? What excites you? What dreams are buried deep in your heart? Do that. Even if you're afraid.

You are here for purpose. Your unique strengths, your unique talents, your voice, your passion is needed. Every moment of your life – the good and the “bad” – has given you wisdom, strength, joy and courage to share with others. And here's the thing – we have no more time to waste! The world needs you living your purpose now. Your children need your light, your community needs your love, and people need your purpose.

I realized this year that I've been holding back a bit. I want to be a beacon of change for women's rights, but I haven't been doing as many FB Lives, webinars, podcasts or blogs – because I'm afraid of rejection. But my purpose is bigger than me; just as your purpose is bigger than you. Someone needs me now, just as someone needs you. So in 2018, I'm leaning into the fear with compassion, and transmuting it to love and purpose for the world. We'll do it together.

We need to Activate our Power. We need to Activate our Joy. We need to Activate our Purpose.

And we can't do it alone.

So if you are ready to create a path to clarity and courage in 2018… an Activation Session may be for you.

Activation Sessions are powerful 90 minute sessions between just you and me where we go deep into your heart and soul for the answers that will lead to your happiest life. Together we get clear on your truth, together we uncover obstacles and decide how to move past them, and together, we design a path forward and ignite your best life.

During an Activation Session, I will lovingly ask probing, clarifying questions to help you clarify what you really, really, really want in 2018. We will uncover the deeper patterns and fears that hold you back so that you can overcome or remove them. I will guide you on how to follow your truth and we will identify a course of action to move forward.

So if you're ready to live BIG in 2018…
If you're ready to finally feel alive, on fire, and on purpose…
If you're ready to ignite a flame to fuel you forward…

Then click here to claim one of the Activation Sessions now.

However you spend tonight – in ritual, at a party, in quiet, or in love, I'm wishing you a beautiful, powerful, healthy, fierce, loving, abundant 2018!

XO,
Carin

December 28, 2017 By Carin Rockind Leave a Comment

New Year’s Ritual for Happiness, Purpose and Abundance

Clear out the chaos to make space for clarity

Hi friend,

Cozy up and let's talk New Year's resolutions. I never make them because more than 90% of resolutions fail.

Rather, I go through a ritual that sets my desires and makes space in my life for action.

My clients love this ritual, so I'm excited to share it with you below.

To change your life, you need to be super purpose-full.

What's working for you? What isn't? What do you want? What might hold you back? And how might you overcome those obstacles?

Amazing things can happen in one year – but you have to be intentional with your time, your energy, your money, your love, and your life to manifest them.

Intention makes the difference between life running you or you running life.
Intention is OWNING your POWER.
Intention sets you on PURPOSE.
Intention will make you HAPPIER.

So below is my annual New Year's ritual in the hopes that it brings you the same clarity, peace, hope, and energy it brings me and my clients.

Carve out 30 minutes for this exercise when you can have quiet time to reflect. Take this space for just you. Begin your quiet time taking 3 deep belly breaths – inhaling through your nostrils to a count of 5 and then exhaling slowly out of your mouth to 5. Let your body relax.

LOVE: With your eyes closed, reflect on all that was really good in 2017. Begin with January, then February and March, etc. Then open your eyes and write down every moment of joy, good health, accolade, tenderness, and inspiration. Feel genuine gratitude in your heart and goodness in your smile and body as you write down each experience.
LESSONS: Now close your eyes again, and think about the lessons you have learned this year. These lessons may have occurred through trial, trauma, or triumph. The cause isn’t as important to this exercise as the lesson itself. Write these down in your journal. Remember to have gratitude for the lesson so that you remember it going forward.
LEAVE: Then, on a separate piece of paper, write every old pattern that held you back in 2017. The ones you are READY TO LEAVE BEHIND. For instance, I realize that I've been holding on to some old grudges this year and it's taken energy that would have been better spent on you, my clients, my community, my family, my life. So good riddance to those grudges. That victim mentality is not helping me any more. Now take the paper outside and light a match to it! Yep, good riddance!

4. LIGHT: Now, in your journal, write your intentions and desires for 2018. Don't write a typical “resolution” like, “lose weight,” or, “leave my job.” That focuses on the negative of what you don't want, and doesn't ground your brain in what you desire. Rather, be clear and specific about what you really, really, really, really desire – and why. For instance – to be so healthy that you can run easily with your children, to love your work so much that you feel alive and excited when you wake up, or to know your purpose so that you feel like you're making a difference and leaving a legacy.

SEE IT. Visualize what you want, even act it out.
FEEL IT. Feel the joy, love, or peace in every cell as if it's already happening.
BELIEVE IT. Make a mantra of it in the present, like, “I'm a Vice President” or “I love my book tour!”
GET SUPPORT FOR IT. We can't do anything alone. We weren't meant to. So who can help you? Who has achieved what you want? Who can coach and guide you? Reach out to them now.
ACT ON IT. Agree to one small step this weekend, knowing that every step toward the right dream matters.

I'd love to hear what you're leaving behind and what your LIGHT is for 2018! Post them in the comments below!AND…

If you are ready to activate your desires and create a path to clarity and courage in 2018…

I am opening up 5 spots in January for PRIVATE, 1:1 Activation Sessions!

Activation Sessions are powerful 90 minute sessions between just you and me where we go deep into your heart and soul for the answers that will lead to your happiest life. Together, we uncover self-created blocks, discover how to move past them, and design a path forward. Together, we ignite your best life.

These powerful Activation Sessions are for women who are tired of being stuck, who are ready to clarify their desires, who deeply desire to create a path to purpose, and crave the courage to move forward.

Here's what we do in an Activation Session:

You fill out a form in advance to share your desires for our activation session and to share any important history that will inform me of your previous patterns.
At the onset, we will get quiet, centered, and grounded so that we can hear your heart's true desires.
I will lovingly ask probing, clarifying questions to help you clarify what you really, really, really want in 2018.
We will uncover the deeper patterns and fears that hold you back so that you can overcome or remove them.
I will reflect and mirror what I hear in your soul's longings and very human needs.
I will lovingly, yet firmly, guide you to follow your truth.
We will identify a course of action to realize your desires.

And… As a New Year's Gift to you, I'm offering Activation Sessions for 40% off through December 31, 2017, at 11:59 pm!

So, if you are ready to ignite your year with a powerful jumpstart and customized plan, then click here to claim one of the Activation Sessions at 40% off.

Here's to a wonderful 2018 for us all!
XO,
Carin

PS – I'm only opening up space for 5 women to do Activation Sessions at 40% off in January, so if this resonates with you, click here to claim your spot!

November 20, 2017 By Carin Rockind Leave a Comment

Do you ruminate? The cure for worrying

Hi friend,

Does your brain ruminate over every little thing? Is it making you miserable? You're not alone.

If your brain is like mine, and everyone I know, you think A LOT. You think about:

What you said
What you didn’t say
What you should have said
How rude someone was at work
Everything you have to do for the holiday
That you’re not thin enough, good enough or smart enough
What you want to do with your life and where has 2017 gone
Why an idea you have is stupid, irresponsible, and impossible to achieve
And on and on and on

Women are twice as likely to be depressed as men and one of the reasons is that we ruminate more.

Of course this probably isn’t news to you, but here’s something you may not know:

Your brain is wired to worry. Think about our ancestors thousands of years ago – the more they worried – Do we have enough food for our family? Are those berries poisonous? Will we be eaten by sabre toothed tigers? – the more they survived.

Similarly, our ancestors were rewarded for negative thinking. Imagining the worst case scenario helped them strategize and survive.

In fact, worrying was so beneficial that our bodies release endorphins when we worry so that worrying actually feels good! It sucks, but it's human.

We don’t have sabre-toothed tigers and we know that all the berries at Whole Foods are safe to eat.

We have old brains in a new world. And left alone, your brain will run itself into fear, guilt, and misery before you even get out of bed. We need to master it to be the empowered, happy, purposeful women we were born to be.

The answer is to be intentional. Your brain needs something to do so you have to control it before it controls you. Here’s how:

Get clear on what you WANT: 2018 is around the corner. Rather than waste another year in depression, think about what you do want. How do you want to feel? What do you want to have? Who do you want to be? Spend your time visualizing, planning, and creating what you want and you’ll be happier.
Notice the GOOD: We have more positive moments than negative ones, but the negative stands out more. So, be intentional in looking for positive moments and be grateful for them. Pause to savor something beautiful, spend a moment thanking someone in person, write down all that’s good in your life. Research shows that writing down 3 things you’re grateful for every day has a lasting impact on happiness.
Do things you LOVE: We all get excited about different things. One of my clients loves gymnastics, but forgot and now in her 40’s she’s tumbling again! Another paints, another loves volunteering with the elderly. Know what makes you happy and make time for it. Then celebrate that you’re doing it.
Try thinking about the BEST CASE instead: Notice how when you say “What if…?” you usually think about what if something bad happens, but try thinking about what if something good happens. Or instead of thinking about the worst case, balance it with the best case, then consider what's most likely. Work with your brain!
Join a SISTERHOOD: When women get together, you can either gossip, vent, or support each other’s excellence. Women who support, uplift, and celebrate one another are happier and healthier. Be intentional about who you spend time with and how you spend that time and you’ll be happier.

These are just a few ideas. The key is to remember that you have to be intentional with your time, your thoughts, your words, and your actions. It’s not easy. My mind is like yours and gets negative all the time. So I redirect it, flip it, be kind to it, get angry at it, and then practice being intentional again. I practice every day and am here to practice with you.

Here's to us being the empowered, happy, purposeful women we were born to be! Have a beautiful week!

XO,
Carin

PS – If you don’t know what you love doing, what you want for 2018, or what would make you happy because you feel so stuck, email me. I only have a couple of coaching spots left at 2017 prices and I’d love to do a free call with you to help you succeed.

November 14, 2017 By Carin Rockind 14 Comments

My Miscarriage: How to Heal and Grow at the Same Time

I’m about to get raw and personal and vulnerable because I’ve committed to being real with you. I believe that a woman’s power is in her vulnerability and that we heal when we come together to support one another. And too many women are suffering in silence – whether from depression, challenged marriages, jobs they hate, starting businesses, infertility or cancer, women are trying to do it alone and it doesn’t work.

We need each other to heal and grow, so I dedicate this post to all of you suffering in silence in hopes that you know that you can heal, you can grow, and you can love life again. You can live in both/and.

Two weeks ago, I had a miscarriage.

If you’ve followed me for a while, then you know that I’ve wanted a baby for a long time – ever since my last miscarriage two years ago.

Before then, I wasn’t sure I wanted to be a mom. I just wanted to impact women’s lives. I used to say that at my funeral, I would rather hundreds of women say that I changed their lives than one person say that I was her mom.

But then we got pregnant. It was 2015; we had been in Italy for a delayed honeymoon and after several glasses of Pinot Grigio, I said to Josh, “Oh what the heck! Let’s try to have a baby.”

We got pregnant on the first try. At first, I was terrified that I had just ruined my life. But then I was thrilled. Ten little fingers and toes to love, a whole life to witness and support, a soul to nourish with self-love and purpose! Josh and I started looking for a bigger house, we planned our schedule, we played with baby names. I envisioned the baby coming with me on retreats and I became excited about raising a conscious, soulful child.

And then I started spotting. Terrified, we rushed to the ER and while there, I fully released the baby. It was heartbreaking and strangely beautiful as Josh and I held each other. I understood then that I had entered a rite of passage for women.

That pregnancy taught me that I really do want to be a mom, and it helped me help so many other women. Just last month, two clients had miscarriages and I was able to support them through it. I felt like there was a purpose to my miscarriage and I could now be the mom I wanted to be.

But then we weren’t getting pregnant again. Month after month I cried as I got my period and about a year in, we saw a fertility doctor. I hated it every moment of it. He winked at Josh about his “young” sperm count while he sternly told me I was “old.” He tried to push expensive extensive medical procedures on us, scaring me with statistics while I turned into a blubbering mess of tears on the floor of his office.

It felt gross and like I was being used. I knew there had to be a better way.

A friend suggested a nutritionist/yogi/fertility coach and I signed up to work with her right away. With her help, I cleansed my body, went off of caffeine and gluten, started intentional mediation and yoga, and most importantly, I healed old painful wounds. I found myself totally in love with Josh, my stepson, and our life and about a year in, we got pregnant.

It was Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish new year) morning a couple of months ago and my period was late. I was never late, so I knew. I jumped out of bed at 6 am to take a pregnancy test, and sure enough, two lines appeared right away. I woke up Josh with fresh tears in my eyes and a huge grin on my face, “Honey, we did it! We did it!”

We held my belly at synagogue as we prayed about the miraculous new year we were about to have. I started telling the women closest to me, and we again started planning.

But then I again began spotting. It was the day after I found out that the radio show I was on was cancelled. I tried to keep myself calm but it felt like my whole world was crashing down at once. An ultrasound then proved that the baby was gone.

So in one week: no show, no baby, and honestly, I had a moment of feeling like there was no hope.

Then my friends began calling. My college girlfriends left their own young families and flew in from out of state to be with me. Another friend came over to hold me and pet my hair as I cried on her lap. A friend who just had a baby dropped off a care package. Two other friends from out of state ditched a conference to come sit with me. My clients from AWAKEN, my one-year experience to embody the divine feminine, texted me every day. Together, we healed. I felt both devastated and grateful.

Then I started taking care of myself. I got a therapist, I reached out to my synagogue for support, and last week, I went away by myself.

I always talk to you about self-care but until last week, I’m not sure I even knew what that meant. Mani/pedis are awesome, but sometimes, you have to give your soul what it needs to heal and grow. Sometimes, you need to get away, you need space, you need time and no matter what else is going on or how crazy it seems, you need it in order to be the wife/mother/friend/daughter/co-worker/manager/ son/father that you want to be.

So despite my brain’s objections (“You can’t go away now! The show was cancelled and we need to drum up new business!”), I cancelled my appointments and took time and space for me. For 3 days in the woods, I read, I meditated, I took long hikes, I cried, I screamed, I beat the shit out of a tree while yelling “WHY ME??!!”, I napped, I cooked really healthy food, I lit candles, I danced, and I made angels in the fresh snow. For 3 days and 3 nights, I did nothing but self-care and it filled me.

So I share all of this with you now not needing your sympathy, but in the hopes that it heals you.

Whatever you’re suffering from, don’t do it in silence. Don’t just trudge through the days. Allow yourself to feel. Allow yourself to lean in to others who can hold you and love you. Allow yourself to care for your tender heart and sweet soul.

And then allow yourself to dream and hope again. That’s what I’m doing and we’ll do it together.

With so much love,
Carin

Following Your Purpose – BONUS to Join me for LAUNCH in London
When I was launching my purpose, I was desperate for someone to take me under her wing and show me what to do. I was eager, I was excited, and I was motivated. I just needed someone to give me the blueprint and I would follow.

But I never found that person, so I made it up on my own. It worked, but it took a lot longer and had a lot more heartache and pain than it needed to. I cried a lot of nights because I didn’t know what to do and I suffered a lot of anxiety attacks because I felt so alone.

But you don’t have to be alone. I will be that mentor for you, as I've done with so many women before you. And I now have a bonus for you to do so.

I’m so excited about my upcoming trip to London where I’m going to speak at one of the most inspiring women’s empowerment events on the planet: The Festival of Doers. I want you to join me so that you can be inspired, get motivated, and create a plan for your purpose in 2018! At my new program Launch, you'll attend the Festival and then get 2 focused days of coaching with me to create a plan for your purpose. And now as a special bonus, I'm paying for your hotel! Click here to get your bonus and learn more about Launch!