Inspiring, Encouraging, and Empowering You to be Your Best
I’ve wanted to play “big” my entire life. I’ve known that I was here for something – to make a difference, to do something meaningful. You are too. We all are.
Unfortunately, I let perfectionism, other people’s opinions, “shoulds”, practicality, and fear get in the way, and I lost myself.
Maybe you can relate. When you forget who you are, you become unhappy. You feel lost. You feel stuck. You feel like something’s missing. Because it is… YOU!
But you can discover yourself again. You can uncover your purpose, create an intentional life, and shine. I’ve done it and so can you.
Every single one of us is meant to shine. You have all you need. Every challenge has given you strengths. Every joy shows you what you want. I will help you discover your strengths, uncover your purpose, shift your negative thoughts, and take courageous action toward creating a life you love.
Welcome, Love, Welcome.
If you haven’t noticed yet, I’m quite obsessed with purpose. Here’s why: We all want to be happy. And I bet that’s what you want for your kids. But most of us don’t know how to be happy. Society has taught us that success will make us happier, so we strive for achievement. We think that the more money we have, or the bigger our house is or the better looking our spouse is, we’ll be happier. However, nearly 100 research studies show that the opposite is true… happier people in every aspect of life. Happier people are physically healthier, they have longer marriages, make more money, and get more promotions.
But what is happiness? We’ve come to believe that it’s found in short-term pleasure like shoes, or wine, or a vacation. And they they do make us happier. For a moment.
When the shoes become old and the promotion gets taxed and the cake is on our hips, we’re quickly unhappy again.
True happiness is deeper. It’s that sense of fulfillment you get when you impact someone’s life. It’s the gratification you feel when you achieve something you never thought you could. It’s meaningful and soulful and transcendent. True happiness is Purpose.
Research shows that people with purpose have greater overall life satisfaction. That even on crappy days (and we all have them,) purpose makes you feel that your life matters. Purpose gives you direction, it keeps you committed to your goals, it allows you to contribute your unique gifts, and make a difference in the world.
Every single one of us is here for purpose. I know this because no one has your specific talents, strengths, passion and wisdom. Purpose isn’t a job title like “accountant” – it’s uniquely, actively impacting the world. Purpose is shining your full bright light on the world. It’s feeling so lit up about life that you naturally light up others.
I “found” happiness when I discovered my purpose. And so will you.
As a little girl in the Midwest, I always had a perfect picture of happiness: Get married, buy a house, work until we had kids, and then we’d be “happy.”
I had it all by the time I was 24: A gorgeous lawyer husband, a 2500 square foot house in the ‘burbs, a fluffy golden retriever, gourmet Thanksgiving dinners.
Life looked “perfect.”
Depression Set In
But I wasn’t happy. I cried almost every day. My heart felt empty. I felt lost. I felt stuck. I could hardly breathe.
I said to my husband, “I think I’m here for something. I think I’m here for purpose.” But I didn’t even know what that meant. So I begged my husband to move to a big city, I switched jobs 5 or 6 times, I went on anti-depressants. I did anything I could to feel better.
Until one day, I fell to my knees in the shower, resigned that this was my lot in life. when some other voice spoke up: “There has to be more.”
Searching For "More"
I went to a therapist and learned that happiness is an inside job. No husband, house, or job could make me truly happy. I had to discover who I was. I had to remember hidden dreams. I had to awaken my soul and enliven my spirit. I had to allow myself to play, and experiment, and mess up, and explore.
So at 26, I divorced and began my journey to happiness.
I began to remember my true self – the one that had been buried by others’ expectations. I remembered my dream to be a professional cheerleader – the one that got squashed when I couldn’t do a cartwheel. I remembered my deep desire to write – the career my parents said would make no money. I remembered how I used to be silly and vibrant - until my first love abused me in high school.
I realized that I had been living my whole life to please others. I was so desperate for everyone else to think I was perfect that I had totally abandoned myself.
So I started living for me. I went to the church where Marianne Williamson preached and found my deep spiritual nature. I became a high school youth group advisor and realized my insane passion for empowering women. I contributed to a blog to support young divorcees and lit up with joy every time I helped a woman in need. I started writing a self-help book for young divorcees.
I began to feel ALIVE! Every cell of my body filled with juicy excitement. THIS – inspiring and empowering women – was my purpose! I just wanted to help as many women love themselves, and discover their truth, and love their lives as I could!
Fear Set In
But how do I turn it into a career? I had never heard of coaching and being a therapist seemed too heavy. People said, “You want to be Oprah!” I did – but how?
The path was too unknown, too scary. And just when I needed a boost, a book agent rejected my idea. The pain was so great that I gave up.
I fell back into the wrong relationships I took higher paying jobs to try to fill my soul.
But it didn’t work. I got Shingles at 34 and became severely depressed. I begged a psychiatrist for more and more medication until she finally said to me, “Carin, you don’t need medication. You talk about all of these dreams – and you haven’t pursued any of them.”
So I went home and made a list of every dream, every regret, everything for which I got jealous of other women, and one by one started knocking them down. I lived in France for a month. I ran a marathon. I started teaching at a local college. I got certified in Gestalt training.
It Took A Gun
Still, I was afraid to pursue this career. It was too risky.
Then one night I was coming home from a bar when a man pulled a gun on me. I screamed and fell to the floor, begging for my life.
I crouched on the floor with the gun pointed at my temple and I thanked G-d and my parents for this life.
And just when I thought this was it – life was over – that other voice came over me and said, “Oh no, you are here for purpose. Women need you. You must pursue it.”
So I made G-d a promise. “If you let me live, I promise to pursue my purpose.”
Committing to My Dreams
At that moment, the man took my purse and ran.
I survived to do this work. I don’t want anyone else to wait until a gun is at their head to finally pursue their purpose.
So I applied to graduate school in a new field, positive psychology. When I got in, I left my VP-title, 6-figure job, sold my boat, rented out my condo, and moved across the country to be a poor grad student at the University of Pennsylvania at 36. It was the boldest, scariest thing I’ve ever done.
My dad said to me, “That is the stupidest decision I’ve ever heard.”
Making It Happen
Crying and shaking, I was afraid my dad was right. Self-doubt crept in, but I wouldn’t let it win this time.
So I said to myself, “The only reason not to do this is if I don’t believe in myself.”
I chose to believe in myself from that moment forward. When I wanted to teach, I hunted down the undergraduate professor and offered to be her TA for free. When I wanted to be a speaker, I held my own first speaking engagement.
I followed every lead, I said YES to every opportunity. I got all of my own speaking gigs, I pursued the creators of YouBeauty.com to write for them until I got my own column. I practically begged the head of talk radio at SiriusXM to give me a try and now I am the “Happiness Guru” on SiriusXM’s Wake Up with Taylor. I even met my new husband along the way!
Taking the risk to pursue my purpose was the best decision I’ve ever made.
We're In This Together
Listen, life is not always easy. Since starting this career, I’ve had a miscarriage, dealt with a family member trying to commit multiple suicides, and have launched products that failed. I yell at my husband and fall back into self-doubt.
I’m not perfect. Please fire any coach who says that she is. I’m on purpose. I’m pursuing this way of living right beside you. One brave, courageous act at a time.
I’ve realized that every moment of my life has been for purpose. Surviving abuse gave me strength and empathy, choosing divorce gave me courage and the ability to understand your struggle, and my corporate career gave me the language to speak to businesses.
Today, I have the honor of speaking worldwide to associations and companies like BMW, Progressive Insurance and Rock Finanical. I get to inspire millions on SiriusXM and coach the most resilient, inspiring people I’ve ever met.
Catalyzing Your Joy!
Every moment of your life has been for purpose, too. You are here for something too. Something meaningful. Something joyful. Something that will allow you to spread your wings and fly.
Let’s uncover your truth, let’s move past your fear, and let’s get you living on purpose!
Carin Rockind is a leading happiness expert and the creator of PurposeGirl, a movement to empower purpose-driven living. She has taught thousands of people to reclaim their happiness and live to their fullest potential of success and well-being. Having survived domestic abuse, divorce, and armed robbery, she teaches others to be resilient, to grow from trauma, and turn pain into purpose. Her expertise is positive psychology, the science of human flourishing. After 15 years as a marketing executive, Carin pursued her great passion: teaching women to thrive. She left her 6-figure, VP-title life in the Midwest to become a graduate student at 36. Carin is one of the first 250 people in the world to earn a Masters degree in Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania, where she then served as adjunct faculty.
Carin speaks at companies worldwide, including Morgan Stanley, AVON, BMW, and Progressive Insurance. She has been featured on NBC, CBS, PBS, NPR, the Huffington Post, and Crain’s, and is the “Happiness Guru” on Sirius XM’s Stars Radio. She is on faculty at The Flourishing Center and leads the Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology program in Miami, Florida. Most recently, she became an international best-selling author for her contribution in Pebbles in the Pond: Wave Three. Carin lives outside of Philadelphia with her husband, Joshua.