Carin Rockind

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February 15, 2019 By Carin Rockind Leave a Comment

LOVE – Get the Love You Want

I love love. How about you?

Loving love may mean that you love Valentines Day or you hate it. When I divorced my first husband, I remember dreading it so much. I wanted a companion, a partner, a best friend to bring me flowers and hold my hand. And then I was so frustrated with myself for wanting it because I identified as an “independent woman” who “shouldn't need” love. 

The fact is that needing love is human. Psychology research shows that our early ancestors needed to be loved to survive. They needed to belong so that their tribe protected them, so our brains are wired to need it today.

The question is how to get it. So here are 3 pathways for more love:
1. Self-Love: Self-love is giving yourself the love that you give to others. If you want a partner to adore you, then what would self-adoration look like? If you want a partner to respect you, how can you further respect yourself right now? How do you pleasure yourself? What do you say to yourself in the mirror? Do you have “primers” or affirmations around the house to remind you that your body is beautiful and your dreams are sacred? If you struggle with self-love, I've written a Self-Love Guide and Workbook that will teach you how to flip negative self-talk into positivity, show you what's wonderful about you, and give you immediate tools to have more self-love NOW! Click here for the self-love guide.

In fact, I've found it necessary for my mental well-being to have “primers” of self-love all around me. That's why we created self-love products for you like the “YOU ARE PERFECT AS IS” mug, the “I CHOOSE” necklace, “My Dreams are Sacred” art prints and more, so head over to the shop right now if you want to double down on self-love for you, or give it to a friend! Click here to go to the Happy Woman Shop!


2. Sisterhood: Every woman needs a tribe of loving, cheerleading, supportive women around her. This past weekend, I kicked off my EMPOWERED group coaching program in Miami and these incredible women mirrored each other's strengths and gifts. When one woman, who is in the middle of chemotherapy therapy treatments finished the retreat, she said “The love, the healing, the acceptance, and the support that I experienced was beyond anything I could have imagined. It was medicine for my soul.” When I had my miscarriage, I leaned on my Sisterhoods to nurse me back to health. When I wanted to expand my impact on the world, I leaned into a Sisterhood of other women entrepreneurs. Hundreds of years ago, men were at war or hunting for food, so women cared for the villages together. Therefore, needing connection with other women is in our bones and cells. We were never meant to do life alone. So if you crave a tribe of incredible women, know that you can join our PurposeGirls: The Women's Happiness Network Facebook group and we will love all over you. It's a safe place to receive connection and tons of support! Click here to join!


3. Romance:  Whether you're in a romantic relationship or not, chances are you crave a bit more. Maybe you want more intimacy with your partner or you want your lover to write you more love letters. Josh and I show love differently so we're always revisiting how the other wants and needs to be loved. Given that I'm not an expert in romance, I've brought in one of my favorite Love Experts on this week's episode of The PurposeGirl Podcast. Marni Battista is a dating coach and romance expert who has taught me how to be open to receiving more love. I found her before I was married to Josh and loved the refresher course I got when interviewing her! This interview is for every woman wanting love and wanting to get it with dignity! Click here to listen!


Of course, there are more pathways to love – furry friends, kids' raspberry smooches, and time with Mother Nature, but I hope these 3 pathways above give you an ignited boost today. 

You deserve all the love in the world.

XO,
Carin

Filed Under: Happiness Tagged With: Happiness, Sisterhood

February 4, 2019 By Carin Rockind Leave a Comment

10 Days of Self Love – Join me?

Want to join me in a free SELF-LOVE Challenge? 10 days to commit to loving you? Then keep reading…

Do you ever call yourself names? Look in the mirror and say mean things? Berate yourself for saying the wrong thing? Beat yourself up for making a mistake?

Me too. I woke up thinking of an email I wish I had written differently. Then my brain started calling me names – until I said “NO – I won’t listen to this!” and I put my hand on my heart and began speaking to myself with kindness.

Self-love is a thing, but we’re never taught how to do it – or why it’s important. Quite the opposite… we’ve been told it’s selfish if we also want to receive. As women, our brains are wired for nurturing others. We love to give but one of the reasons that women are more depressed than men is that we ruminate more on the negative. We worry more. It’s great for taking care of others, but horrible for taking care of ourselves.

You deserve better. You deserve the same love and kindness you give to your best friend, your kids, your mail carrier! Inside of you is a sweet, tender soul that is so good, so beautiful, and so worthy of genuine love. You’ve overcome so much, you’ve been so brave to keep going every day. You are brilliant and unique and here for purpose – not despite your “imperfections” – but because you’re perfect with them.

International Day of Self-Love is February 13 so I’m kicking off 10 Days of Self-Love TODAY. Want to join? It’s scary and brave and going to be delicious!

Here’s how it will work: Every day for the next 10 days, I’ll post a Self-Love tool, inquiry, or exercise for us all to do on the PurposeGirls Women’s Happiness Network Facebook group, then we uplevel each other. (Click here to join the Free Facebook group!)

Then we’ll end with a “Grand Finale” totally FREE Self-Love Celebration class on Feb 13 that I’m hosting! It’s a class to learn 3 proven keys to self-love, purpose and joy.

Click here to register for the free class. Even if you can’t make the live class, register for access to the recording!

You are the only you!! And the world needs YOUR creativity, YOUR strengths, YOUR talents. We’re going to go beyond the mani-pedi and into self-trust, self-compassion, and self-celebration.

Join me on Instagram and in the Facebook group, and join the Self-Love Celebrationclass!

Plus, PLEASE share this link with 3 women who would need self-love and would benefit from self-celebration! February 13 is also Gal-entine’s Day, the day to celebrate our Girlfriends, so share this link so we build up a big ol’ sisterhood of self-loving Goddesses!

Together, we’re changing the world, one woman at a time.

I CAN’T WAIT TO CELEBRATE YOU AND SELF-LOVE TOGETHER!!

XOXOX

Carin

PS: Join my private Facebook Group to be a part of the Self Love Challenge!

Filed Under: Empowerment, Happiness Tagged With: Happiness, Intention, Self-Criticism, Sisterhood

December 4, 2018 By Carin Rockind Leave a Comment

Pleasure and Pushing Beyond Comfort Zones {with 2000 women this weekend!}

When is the last time you went out of your comfort zone? Really out? You stretched yourself to such uncomfortable places that you were terrified, yet deep down… you knew that you had to go there?

This weekend, I went there. I was with 2000 women and my mentor, Regena Thomashauer, at a conference about owning our sexuality and living BIG, and though I consider myself fierce in my pursuing my dreams, I realized this weekend how much I still have repressed out of fear:

*Fantasies I've thought were wrong or bad.
*Amazing business ideas that seem “arrogant” and “too much.”
*Dreams to do bigger, bolder work that I have held back out of fear.

Notice how all of these are things that excite me – that would bring me PLEASURE. 

What about you? Where have you held yourself back out of fear? 

Last week, one of my coaching clients shared that she used to stand in front of the mirror as a little girl and shake her hips, but she was told that was bad, so she became afraid to express herself. Then we talked about shopping for sexy lingerie and she lit up, feeling both excited and a bit nervous! Another client told me that she wanted to become a singer, but was told that was “unrealistic” so she became robotic and practical. Talking with her about joining a choir thrilled and terrified her in the best way!

Fear holds us back from excitement, from pleasure, from joy because somewhere along the way, we learned that as women, what gives us pleasure is wrong. 
Fear makes us think we'll be rejected if we try something new.
Fear makes us think that if we change, we'll fail and feel stupid.
Fear makes us think that if we succeed, others will tell us we're arrogant.

So we've played it “safe.” But how safe is it if we feel sad, stoic, resentful, blah, or depressed? 

Each time you suppress a desire, you depress yourself. You feel smaller and smaller and then non-existent. “Depress”ion is neglecting yourself.

“The Fear Brain” is necessary for survival… if you're going to be hit by oncoming traffic, you need it and want it. But when it comes to dreams, fear only holds us back. If fear is getting in the way of pleasure, of joy, of happiness… then you know that it is misplaced. 

When I left my six-figure salary to go back to graduate school for positive psychology, my dad (lovingly) said it was the stupidest decision he'd ever heard. I was terrified that he was right, but I had to pursue it because the idea of empowering others was so exciting to me. It turns out that going to the edge of that comfort zone was the best decision I'd ever made. I just felt that scary edge again when I launched the Happy Woman Shop, but I did it because I believe in it and every day, I look at it with admiration, excitement and joy – even though it's not as successful as Amazon – yet 😉 .

Regena has taught me that pleasure is the center of a woman's power. We were born for happiness. And when you push your comfort zone and fulfill a desire, you expand, you feel more whole, you feel alive! At the edge of your comfort zone is freedom! 


So, what are your desires? What gives you that dis-comfort and fear that's mixed with juicy excitement and “OHMYGODDESS that might be possible” nerves?

Let 2019 be the year that you do that.
We will do it together.

Can you imagine a world where you felt empowered to live your desires?Where you took the pole dancing class or booked the trip to Italy or started the Etsy shop just because it lit you up and made you excited?? Can you imagine how giddy you'd be living in that fun, excited, nervous joy? Can you imagine how THAT world would inspire children to follow their dreams?

That's the world I want to live in: A world of Happy Women.

So my commitment to you is to take seriously each of the desires that came to me this weekend and pursue them all, even if they are scary. One step at a time. And I hope you do the same.

You were not born to live small. You're too brilliant and beautiful and creative and powerful for that. We were born to live our GREATNESS fully. And though it might be uncomfortable, why are we alive if not to LIVE?

With so much love!
To your happiness,
Carin

PS – Have you visited our new Happy Woman Shop? It's filled with gifts for you and your loved ones to awaken, get more self-love and live a happier life! Click here for the cutest, most empowering mugs, t-shirts, and our signature “I CHOOSE” necklace!

PPS – We are growing the Women's Global Happiness Network on our free PurposeGirls Facebook group. We're posting weekly motivation, I'll be doing FB lives there soon, and more! Click here to join!

PPPS – For my leading podcast about the science of women's happiness, click here.


The newest episode of The PurposeGirl Podcast is the fifth in a six-part series in which I take you through six different pathways to happiness and human flourishing, and with each one I provide you with tools that you can use. In this episode I teach you all about Achievement. If you missed it you can check it out here.

Filed Under: Empowerment, Happiness Tagged With: Happiness, Sexuality, Sisterhood

August 2, 2018 By Carin Rockind Leave a Comment

Mean Girls (And Women) And What To Do About Them

Have you ever had your heart broken by other women? When I was in 5th grade, my group of friends dumped me. I showed up at school one day and they just didn't talk to me. They didn't want me to sit with them at lunch and they left me out of our weekend plans. I wondered what I did wrong and why they hated me. It stung so badly that I can still feel it.

Maybe you can relate?
mean girls

Unfortunately, we're still dealing with mean girls as adults.One of my dear friends felt ostracized by the “football moms” who all got together after games and never invited her. One of my clients just graduated from college and was so excited to connect with the other women at work, but before she knew it, she found out that they were all talking about her behind her back.

At a women's conference recently, the presenter asked how many of us had been betrayed by another woman and every single woman raised her hand.

Every. Single. One.

Unfortunately, most of us have not only been victim to Mean Girls, but we've been the Mean Girl too. If I'm being honest, I've been so jealous of other women before that I judged them. At times, I've seen other women as competition. In college, I was so rude about my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend that I borderline harassed her one night.

Why? I'd love to claim insanity, but I just desperately wanted him to love me most.

Sadly, we've been (inaccurately) told that we have to compete with other women to get ahead. We've heard that there's only “one seat at the boardroom table.” That there's “a glass ceiling that only one woman will break.” That only one of us can date the Football Captain. And then we feel hurt forever around other women. It may be helping the economy with makeup and magazine sales, but it's not helping our self-worth or our purpose. 

Our core human need is to be loved. We want to be accepted. We want to belong. We just haven't known how to create love for ourselves and other women without competing, comparison and judgment. Even when I speak at corporations like Progressive Insurance and BMW, inevitably, someone always asks how women can support each other instead of hold one another down.

The answer is Sisterhood. For thousands of years, women connected to support one another. Marriage was for economical reasons, so women leaned on each other for emotional support. Women fed each other's children and listened to each other's dreams.

Connection and collaboration is still in our DNA and when we don't have it, we crave it. I sometimes think that we crave women's love even more than a man's love because when women love us, we feel like we belong.

This is why I build the Sisterhoods I do. This coming weekend is my annual Goddess Girls Retreat where 29 women will gather to support, uplift, cheerlead and love one another. Every woman will share her pain, clarify her truth, and state her desires. And then all of her Sisters will cheer her on with wild, glorious, joyful abandon!

Goddess Girls Retreat 2017 sisters in a circleWomen who join my PurposeGirl Retreats and Sisterhoods are constantly amazed by the depth of love, authenticity and support that they receive from the other women. Women say they've never experienced anything like it and these new Sisters become their best friends for life.Sure, women get jealous, but in Sisterhood, we flip envy into inspiration and ask how we can help.

Do you have Sisterhood like this? You need one. I need one. Heck, I have 5 of these Sisterhoods in addition to the ones I build because I need it so badly.

EVERY woman is our Sister.  The only way that women are going to succeed is if we begin supporting each other. Competing with and judging each other only holds us back professionally, socially, and even financially. We'd make so much more on the dollar if we lifted one another up! I'm not always perfect at this, and every day, I try. I know you do too.Women standing in the waves

You're a PurposeGirl. A woman who believes that every woman is beautiful, every woman is brilliant, and every woman is meant to shine brightly! Can you imagine if every woman alive made every other woman feel loved?Feel accepted? Feel like she belongs? Can you imagine the monumental shifts this world would make?

Recently, on the PurposeGirl Podcast, I interviewed my friend, colleague, and mentor, Caroline Adams Miller, MAPP and best-selling author of Creating Your Best Life and Getting Grit about why women tear each other down and how we can use the science of positive psychology to lift one another up. (You can listen here.) Caroline is launching a new effort to empower women to empower women. Called #Share222, Caroline teaches us on the podcast episode how to spread women's success and help us all rise to greater success TOGETHER. If you haven't yet listened to it, check it out here.

And once you listen, or if you have experienced this pain between women or want to see women lift each other up, leave a comment below and let me know what you think. Do you see women supporting women in the office and the PTA? What issues have you seen? What solutions can you share? Let's help each other rise up and change this world forever!

Women supporting each other will change this world!

With so much love,
Carin
Women standing in the waves

 

 

Filed Under: Empowerment, Happiness Tagged With: Happiness, Sisterhood

May 1, 2018 By Carin Rockind Leave a Comment

Ever Feel Lonely?

Hi love,

Last week, I shared with you my passion for eradicating the crazy amount of depression and anxiety among women (read it here) and I have been blown away by your responses. Thank you for wanting to end depression with me.

Your encouragement led me to further think about the causes of women's depression and a major one is loneliness.

We're isolated.
Saying hi to each other in school pick up lines and in the breakroom, but we're often hiding our truth.
We're keeping quiet instead of speaking up.
We're running households and businesses, trying to do it all by ourselves.
And it's not working.

I remember being married to my first husband and feeling so lonely, even though he was in the bed next to me. I remember being with a group of girlfriends feeling so lonely because they all had kids and I didn't. I remember feeling so lonely in high school when I loved a girl and felt like I couldn't tell anyone. I remember being in middle school feeling so lonely because I wasn't invited to Movie Night.

Just recently, I felt lonely, like no one would get my anxiety, like no one would love me if they knew my pain. I texted my Soul Sister Stacey that I needed support, but then felt guilty. She has kids and a thriving business. She didn't need to care for me too! But she said, “We process in sisterhood. No aloneness.” (Thank Goddess for her!)

It's actually a huge reason why I create Sisterhoods – on retreats, in my EMPOWERED program, and in my upcoming science of women's happiness program – I create the Sisterhoods I always craved. Just this weekend, Stacey and I co-led a beautiful, transformative retreat where each woman listened to one another deeply, we mirrored one another's beauty, we celebrated each others' gifts, and we lifted each other up to be the brave Goddesses we see. As one participant told us at the end, “I feel so full now – so nurtured.”

What about you? Do you ever get lonely? 

With screens and social media, we're becoming lonelier. We have more “friends” but less Soul Sisters. And we need Soul Sisters.

Research shows that a major cause of women's midlife depression is that between demanding work schedules, aging parents and young kids, time with girlfriends is one of the first things to go. But research also shows that women need other women. Women with close friends are healthier and happier. 

Needing other women is in our bones.
It's in our DNA.
Think about it – we're the product of our ancestors and for thousands of years, women gathered to care for and nurture each other. Just two generations ago – my grandmother gathered with her girlfriends to play mahjong three times a week. That gathering, that need for connection is in our bones.

It's why women I work with say this:
“Because of you, I've met my best friends for life.”
“I never knew how much I needed other women, but my Sisters have lifted me higher than I ever could have gone alone.”
“This Sisterhood is everything to me.”

This is so important, that I taped this video for you.

If you're interested in learning more about women's depression and anxiety and being part of the solution and you haven't yet emailed me, then email me and say “YES!” I'm working on what a movement to change our well-being forever would look like and I'd love to be in Sisterhood with you.

With so much love,
Carin

Filed Under: Happiness Tagged With: Happiness, Sisterhood

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