Last week, I shared with you my passion for eradicating the crazy amount of depression and anxiety among women (read it here) and I have been blown away by your responses. Thank you for wanting to end depression with me.
Your encouragement led me to further think about the causes of women's depression and a major one is loneliness.
Saying hi to each other in school pick up lines and in the breakroom, but we're often hiding our truth.
We're keeping quiet instead of speaking up.
We're running households and businesses, trying to do it all by ourselves.
And it's not working.
I remember being married to my first husband and feeling so lonely, even though he was in the bed next to me. I remember being with a group of girlfriends feeling so lonely because they all had kids and I didn't. I remember feeling so lonely in high school when I loved a girl and felt like I couldn't tell anyone. I remember being in middle school feeling so lonely because I wasn't invited to Movie Night.
Just recently, I felt lonely, like no one would get my anxiety, like no one would love me if they knew my pain. I texted my Soul Sister Stacey that I needed support, but then felt guilty. She has kids and a thriving business. She didn't need to care for me too! But she said, “We process in sisterhood. No aloneness.” (Thank Goddess for her!)
It's actually a huge reason why I create Sisterhoods – on retreats, in my EMPOWERED program, and in my upcoming science of women's happiness program – I create the Sisterhoods I always craved. Just this weekend, Stacey and I co-led a beautiful, transformative retreat where each woman listened to one another deeply, we mirrored one another's beauty, we celebrated each others' gifts, and we lifted each other up to be the brave Goddesses we see. As one participant told us at the end, “I feel so full now – so nurtured.”
What about you? Do you ever get lonely?
With screens and social media, we're becoming lonelier. We have more “friends” but less Soul Sisters. And we need Soul Sisters.
Research shows that a major cause of women's midlife depression is that between demanding work schedules, aging parents and young kids, time with girlfriends is one of the first things to go. But research also shows that women need other women. Women with close friends are healthier and happier.
Needing other women is in our bones.
It's in our DNA.
Think about it – we're the product of our ancestors and for thousands of years, women gathered to care for and nurture each other. Just two generations ago – my grandmother gathered with her girlfriends to play mahjong three times a week. That gathering, that need for connection is in our bones.
It's why women I work with say this:
“Because of you, I've met my best friends for life.”
“I never knew how much I needed other women, but my Sisters have lifted me higher than I ever could have gone alone.”
“This Sisterhood is everything to me.”
This is so important, that I taped this video for you.
If you're interested in learning more about women's depression and anxiety and being part of the solution and you haven't yet emailed me, then email me and say “YES!” I'm working on what a movement to change our well-being forever would look like and I'd love to be in Sisterhood with you.
With so much love,