Sisterhood Archives - Page 2 of 3

March 29, 2018 By Carin Rockind Leave a Comment

Ever Feel Powerless?

Do you ever feel powerless?
Numb?
Lost?
Like you used to be joyful and bold and brave and you have no idea where your power went?

Me too.
But I spent this weekend with 500 amazing women and my new mentor gaining it back. Through deep soulful exercises, sacred Sisterhood empowering one another, and connecting with my body in luscious dancing, I remembered that deep within me is a Knowing. A Truth. SHE is my power.

SHE tells me what I want. (And don't want.)
SHE tells me what I like. (And don't like.)
And SHE tells you too.

But if you're like me, you don't always listen to HER because SHE seems impractical.

For instance, SHE wants to fly first class to my Greece retreat in September, but Fear Brain says, “What a waste of money. You don't need that.”
SHE gets excited about creating a movement to eradicate women's depression, but Fear Brain says, “Who do you think you are?”
SHE says I'm gorgeous and sexy, but Fear Brain says “Ugh – another grey hair!”

Fear Brain tries to stop your POWER.

But SHE is the source of your JOY. So if you cut her off every time because she's impractical or doesn't make sense, you end up numb, resentful and powerless.

But it's not your fault. It's not even Fear Brain's fault.
Fear Brain is the result of the messages you received that you aren't good enough.

Even if you had the best, most encouraging parents on earth,
Even if you have a big job title,
Even if you have kids who love you and a partner who thinks you're sexy…

We are bombarded all day long with messages that there's something wrong with us:
Your hair is too gray.
Your skin is too wrinkly.
Your belly is too big.
Older women aren't sexy.
And for one of my African American clients who's having trouble loving herself, think about how she grew up with mostly white dolls on the shelf, commercials for shampoos that don't work for her hair, bandaids that don't match her skin, and lack of people who look like her in leadership. So of course, she feels like she's not good enough.

Plus, we're told that if we're bold, we're nasty bitches…
We fear if we shine too bright, we'll make other women feel bad.
If we brag about our brilliance, we're arrogant.

The result is that we give up our power to what we are NOT. We hide it.
We decide we'd be worthy if we were thinner, younger, smarter, more successful, married, a mom, and so much more, so we develop Fear Brain to make us worthy.

The result is that we listen to Fear Brain more than SHE who is your Inner Knowing, your POWER. And every time you listen to Fear Brain, you feel small, resentful, regretful. Numb. Powerless.

But we can take our power back.
I know it's scary, but EVERY TIME I listen to my inner knowing, it's been glorious. Leaving my marketing career to be a speaker, moving to NYC when I had NO money in the bank, asking for a gig on SiriusXM, investing in myself with this new mentor. It's scary to listen to SHE, and sometimes I fail, but ultimately, SHE always guides me to my POWER, my JOY, and my PURPOSE.

SHE will guide you too, but you have to let her. You have to nurture and love and trust HER. Here are a few ideas how:
1. MOVE: When Fear Brain gets in your way, turn on music you love and rock out. Your body is designed to move and as a woman, it's designed to dance. Just this morning, I turned around self-doubt dancing to Rhianna's Diamonds and it was fabulous. So rock it out and return to your glorious power.

2. GET IT OUT: Fear Brain can be SO loud and so damaging that sometimes we have to get out our anger, fear, and self-doubt with a good old-fashioned temper tantrum. Just yesterday, I let myself get anger out and it allowed it to move through me instead of taking it out on Josh or my mom. So go to the bathroom, cry, scream, hit a pillow. Tell the Fear Brain to F*Off!

3. DAILY PRACTICE: You MUST begin a daily practice NOW of rejoicing in your glory. Walk by a mirror and wink at the woman in front of you. Tenderly tell your thighs you love them for how strong they are. Learn your own strengths and tout them at the office.

4. DARE: Do something that SHE wants you to do – travel, take a painting class, approach that hottie for a date, go on a retreat. Prove to yourself that you CAN. I did this by saying YES to SHE with this program and as I sat in the room Sunday morning, I said, “This is the best investment I've made.”

5. SISTERHOOD: Get a supportive Sisterhood that will reflect your genius, hold you when you cry, believe in you when you want to reach new heights, and cheerlead you all the way.

I hope you practice the 5 tips above. Comment below with questions or to let me know which you try. May you stand in your power today and every day.

February 27, 2018 By Carin Rockind Leave a Comment

Life Wasn’t Supposed to Be This Way…

“I feel stuck.”
“I’ve made a lot of choices to please others, instead of myself.”
“I want to feel again – all the feelings – joy passion, love.”
“I'm not living up to my potential, my dreams. Something got lost along the way.”
“Life just wasn't supposed to be this way.”

Have you ever said any of these things to yourself? I know I have.
I just finished my first 5 Day Purpose Course and these are just some of the comments that the women shared about why they were taking a course with me to live on purpose.

My heart sank with every comment because I've felt all of this. It was August of 2008 and I was staring at my computer screen, lost. I felt like such a fraud. Everyone thought I loved my job but I knew deep down that it wasn't for me. My whole life felt like a fraud. The city I lived in, the job I had, the relationship I was in.

But I didn't know how to move forward. I was too scared.

Then my friend, Sue, suggested her life coach. Sue was growing so much – she had so much confidence and was taking new risks. When I met her coach, I burst into tears. He was so gentle, so supportive, so encouraging about me and my purpose.

But when he offered to work with me, I said “no.” I felt guilty spending money on myself. I felt like I should be able to do it myself.

But a few weeks later, I was back to feeling like a fraud again. I wasn't moving forward. I needed help. So I called him again and with his support, I applied to graduate school, the first step on this journey to being your life purpose coach. I needed help to move forward.

We all do. At the end of the 5 Day Course, these same women said:
“So enlightening & having more clarity now that I never realized.”
“Feeling so inspired. So grateful for the wisdom, Carin.”
“I now believe in myself.”

I want you to believe in yourself and have clarity too. My deepest is desire is for you to live on purpose. I so badly want to inspire and empower millions of women to change their lives and go for their dreams that it sometimes hurts my heart.

Living on Purpose gives me the greatest joy I've ever known.
Living on Purpose fulfills my heart and soul and lets me leave a legacy.
Living on Purpose gives me freedom to travel the world (& be paid for it).
Living on Purpose makes me feel PROUD, COURAGEOUS, and BADASS!

I want you to live on purpose too.

As I've told you, it took being robbed at gunpoint to finally take steps toward pursuing my purpose. But with a coach's help, I realized that I'm worthy of my dreams. I'm worthing of feeling joy. I'm worthy of loving myself and making a huge impact on the world.

And so are you.

xo,

Carin

February 3, 2018 By Carin Rockind 4 Comments

This Changed My Life

Do you have something you've wanted to do your whole life but haven't had the courage or time or motivation?

As you may know, I've wanted to write a book my whole life.
I distinctly remember being 29, freshly divorced, trying to find myself and my path.
The only place that comforted me was Barnes & Noble.
I would arrive early on a Saturday morning, buy a large latte, settle into an oversized tan leather chair and surround myself with self-help books.

As I flipped through title after title, my heart opened, my blood danced with delight.
I envisioned my own book among the pile.
I had been writing a book about what it's like to be young and divorced. About your two best friends getting married just when you are getting divorced, about being the only divorcee at your 10 year high school reunion.

And then I got my lucky break.
I shared my dream on a random blind date when the guy said, “I have a friend who's a big agent.”
Next thing you know, I'm sending my manuscript off to William Morris – the biggest agent – with butterflies in my stomach and certainty in my heart.
He called the next day.
“You're a great writer, Carin, but I can't publish this.”
It was too much my own story, he said.
This was before Eat. Pray. Love. so little did he know that memoirs were about to be the hottest thing.

My heart knew it had to be my story, but my fear-brain took over and shut down the book altogether.
I stopped writing.
I quit my dream.

That began years of depression that eventually led me to violent nightly panic attacks.

And then I found Positive Psychology, the science of happiness and human flourishing. My psychiatrist suggested that I didn't need more drugs, but I rather, I needed to start DOing my dreams. Taking action.

So I did – I traveled to Paris by myself, I bought a boat, I ran a marathon.

And I started to feel better.

Then I was robbed at gunpoint and knew I had to pursue the biggest dream of all – becoming an empowerment author, coach, and speaker.
As you may know, I left my 6-figure, VP-title, corporate job to get my Masters degree in Positive Psychology and start this work. I intentionally wrote 100 pages for my thesis about Purpose (even though it was supposed to be 30) because I wanted to finally write a book.

That was 6 years ago and still the book isn't done.

Why?
FEAR.
Fear that I'll be rejected again.
Fear that no one will buy it.
Fear that you'll hate it and post all sorts of mean things on Amazon.
So I've written and re-written those 100 pages 300 times.
I created coaching programs to empower thousands of people to live their purpose.
I created a day and a half workshop on the material that is now taught in the Certificate of Applied Positive Psychology (CAPP) program worldwide.

But still, no book.

Until my dear friend Louisa pulled me aside this summer and said, “Carin, there are now 800 CAPP grads who have your Purpose material. How are you going to feel if one of them writes your book before you do?”

BAM!
My gut dropped.
My breath stopped.
I felt so sick I went to a toilet to try vomitting.

And I knew what I had to do: Finish the book. Send it to a publisher. So Louisa coached me, helping me work out the kinks in the structure, and holding me accountable to a deadline, and I'm thrilled to report that on January 31, I turned in my book proposal to a publisher!

The publisher may accept it, she may not, I may send it to others, I may self-publish, and none of it matters. What matters is that I'm fulfilling my lifelong dream and FINALLY, this weight has been lifted. Nothing can stop me now from becoming a published author.

What's crazy is that I knew everything Louisa was telling me. I help people fulfill their dreams All. The. Time. But sometimes, we need someone else to help us see the blocks, and hold us accountable to move forward.

That's why I love coaching you.
I want to do for you what Louisa just did for me.
Get you moving on your dreams.
Get you living your purpose.

November 20, 2017 By Carin Rockind Leave a Comment

Do you ruminate? The cure for worrying

Hi friend,

Does your brain ruminate over every little thing? Is it making you miserable? You're not alone.

If your brain is like mine, and everyone I know, you think A LOT. You think about:

What you said
What you didn’t say
What you should have said
How rude someone was at work
Everything you have to do for the holiday
That you’re not thin enough, good enough or smart enough
What you want to do with your life and where has 2017 gone
Why an idea you have is stupid, irresponsible, and impossible to achieve
And on and on and on

Women are twice as likely to be depressed as men and one of the reasons is that we ruminate more.

Of course this probably isn’t news to you, but here’s something you may not know:

Your brain is wired to worry. Think about our ancestors thousands of years ago – the more they worried – Do we have enough food for our family? Are those berries poisonous? Will we be eaten by sabre toothed tigers? – the more they survived.

Similarly, our ancestors were rewarded for negative thinking. Imagining the worst case scenario helped them strategize and survive.

In fact, worrying was so beneficial that our bodies release endorphins when we worry so that worrying actually feels good! It sucks, but it's human.

We don’t have sabre-toothed tigers and we know that all the berries at Whole Foods are safe to eat.

We have old brains in a new world. And left alone, your brain will run itself into fear, guilt, and misery before you even get out of bed. We need to master it to be the empowered, happy, purposeful women we were born to be.

The answer is to be intentional. Your brain needs something to do so you have to control it before it controls you. Here’s how:

Get clear on what you WANT: 2018 is around the corner. Rather than waste another year in depression, think about what you do want. How do you want to feel? What do you want to have? Who do you want to be? Spend your time visualizing, planning, and creating what you want and you’ll be happier.
Notice the GOOD: We have more positive moments than negative ones, but the negative stands out more. So, be intentional in looking for positive moments and be grateful for them. Pause to savor something beautiful, spend a moment thanking someone in person, write down all that’s good in your life. Research shows that writing down 3 things you’re grateful for every day has a lasting impact on happiness.
Do things you LOVE: We all get excited about different things. One of my clients loves gymnastics, but forgot and now in her 40’s she’s tumbling again! Another paints, another loves volunteering with the elderly. Know what makes you happy and make time for it. Then celebrate that you’re doing it.
Try thinking about the BEST CASE instead: Notice how when you say “What if…?” you usually think about what if something bad happens, but try thinking about what if something good happens. Or instead of thinking about the worst case, balance it with the best case, then consider what's most likely. Work with your brain!
Join a SISTERHOOD: When women get together, you can either gossip, vent, or support each other’s excellence. Women who support, uplift, and celebrate one another are happier and healthier. Be intentional about who you spend time with and how you spend that time and you’ll be happier.

These are just a few ideas. The key is to remember that you have to be intentional with your time, your thoughts, your words, and your actions. It’s not easy. My mind is like yours and gets negative all the time. So I redirect it, flip it, be kind to it, get angry at it, and then practice being intentional again. I practice every day and am here to practice with you.

Here's to us being the empowered, happy, purposeful women we were born to be! Have a beautiful week!

XO,
Carin

PS – If you don’t know what you love doing, what you want for 2018, or what would make you happy because you feel so stuck, email me. I only have a couple of coaching spots left at 2017 prices and I’d love to do a free call with you to help you succeed.

November 14, 2017 By Carin Rockind 14 Comments

My Miscarriage: How to Heal and Grow at the Same Time

I’m about to get raw and personal and vulnerable because I’ve committed to being real with you. I believe that a woman’s power is in her vulnerability and that we heal when we come together to support one another. And too many women are suffering in silence – whether from depression, challenged marriages, jobs they hate, starting businesses, infertility or cancer, women are trying to do it alone and it doesn’t work.

We need each other to heal and grow, so I dedicate this post to all of you suffering in silence in hopes that you know that you can heal, you can grow, and you can love life again. You can live in both/and.

Two weeks ago, I had a miscarriage.

If you’ve followed me for a while, then you know that I’ve wanted a baby for a long time – ever since my last miscarriage two years ago.

Before then, I wasn’t sure I wanted to be a mom. I just wanted to impact women’s lives. I used to say that at my funeral, I would rather hundreds of women say that I changed their lives than one person say that I was her mom.

But then we got pregnant. It was 2015; we had been in Italy for a delayed honeymoon and after several glasses of Pinot Grigio, I said to Josh, “Oh what the heck! Let’s try to have a baby.”

We got pregnant on the first try. At first, I was terrified that I had just ruined my life. But then I was thrilled. Ten little fingers and toes to love, a whole life to witness and support, a soul to nourish with self-love and purpose! Josh and I started looking for a bigger house, we planned our schedule, we played with baby names. I envisioned the baby coming with me on retreats and I became excited about raising a conscious, soulful child.

And then I started spotting. Terrified, we rushed to the ER and while there, I fully released the baby. It was heartbreaking and strangely beautiful as Josh and I held each other. I understood then that I had entered a rite of passage for women.

That pregnancy taught me that I really do want to be a mom, and it helped me help so many other women. Just last month, two clients had miscarriages and I was able to support them through it. I felt like there was a purpose to my miscarriage and I could now be the mom I wanted to be.

But then we weren’t getting pregnant again. Month after month I cried as I got my period and about a year in, we saw a fertility doctor. I hated it every moment of it. He winked at Josh about his “young” sperm count while he sternly told me I was “old.” He tried to push expensive extensive medical procedures on us, scaring me with statistics while I turned into a blubbering mess of tears on the floor of his office.

It felt gross and like I was being used. I knew there had to be a better way.

A friend suggested a nutritionist/yogi/fertility coach and I signed up to work with her right away. With her help, I cleansed my body, went off of caffeine and gluten, started intentional mediation and yoga, and most importantly, I healed old painful wounds. I found myself totally in love with Josh, my stepson, and our life and about a year in, we got pregnant.

It was Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish new year) morning a couple of months ago and my period was late. I was never late, so I knew. I jumped out of bed at 6 am to take a pregnancy test, and sure enough, two lines appeared right away. I woke up Josh with fresh tears in my eyes and a huge grin on my face, “Honey, we did it! We did it!”

We held my belly at synagogue as we prayed about the miraculous new year we were about to have. I started telling the women closest to me, and we again started planning.

But then I again began spotting. It was the day after I found out that the radio show I was on was cancelled. I tried to keep myself calm but it felt like my whole world was crashing down at once. An ultrasound then proved that the baby was gone.

So in one week: no show, no baby, and honestly, I had a moment of feeling like there was no hope.

Then my friends began calling. My college girlfriends left their own young families and flew in from out of state to be with me. Another friend came over to hold me and pet my hair as I cried on her lap. A friend who just had a baby dropped off a care package. Two other friends from out of state ditched a conference to come sit with me. My clients from AWAKEN, my one-year experience to embody the divine feminine, texted me every day. Together, we healed. I felt both devastated and grateful.

Then I started taking care of myself. I got a therapist, I reached out to my synagogue for support, and last week, I went away by myself.

I always talk to you about self-care but until last week, I’m not sure I even knew what that meant. Mani/pedis are awesome, but sometimes, you have to give your soul what it needs to heal and grow. Sometimes, you need to get away, you need space, you need time and no matter what else is going on or how crazy it seems, you need it in order to be the wife/mother/friend/daughter/co-worker/manager/ son/father that you want to be.

So despite my brain’s objections (“You can’t go away now! The show was cancelled and we need to drum up new business!”), I cancelled my appointments and took time and space for me. For 3 days in the woods, I read, I meditated, I took long hikes, I cried, I screamed, I beat the shit out of a tree while yelling “WHY ME??!!”, I napped, I cooked really healthy food, I lit candles, I danced, and I made angels in the fresh snow. For 3 days and 3 nights, I did nothing but self-care and it filled me.

So I share all of this with you now not needing your sympathy, but in the hopes that it heals you.

Whatever you’re suffering from, don’t do it in silence. Don’t just trudge through the days. Allow yourself to feel. Allow yourself to lean in to others who can hold you and love you. Allow yourself to care for your tender heart and sweet soul.

And then allow yourself to dream and hope again. That’s what I’m doing and we’ll do it together.

With so much love,
Carin

Following Your Purpose – BONUS to Join me for LAUNCH in London
When I was launching my purpose, I was desperate for someone to take me under her wing and show me what to do. I was eager, I was excited, and I was motivated. I just needed someone to give me the blueprint and I would follow.

But I never found that person, so I made it up on my own. It worked, but it took a lot longer and had a lot more heartache and pain than it needed to. I cried a lot of nights because I didn’t know what to do and I suffered a lot of anxiety attacks because I felt so alone.

But you don’t have to be alone. I will be that mentor for you, as I've done with so many women before you. And I now have a bonus for you to do so.

I’m so excited about my upcoming trip to London where I’m going to speak at one of the most inspiring women’s empowerment events on the planet: The Festival of Doers. I want you to join me so that you can be inspired, get motivated, and create a plan for your purpose in 2018! At my new program Launch, you'll attend the Festival and then get 2 focused days of coaching with me to create a plan for your purpose. And now as a special bonus, I'm paying for your hotel! Click here to get your bonus and learn more about Launch!