Empowerment Archives - Carin Rockind

February 4, 2019 By Carin Rockind Leave a Comment

10 Days of Self Love – Join me?

Want to join me in a free SELF-LOVE Challenge? 10 days to commit to loving you? Then keep reading…

Do you ever call yourself names? Look in the mirror and say mean things? Berate yourself for saying the wrong thing? Beat yourself up for making a mistake?

Me too. I woke up thinking of an email I wish I had written differently. Then my brain started calling me names – until I said “NO – I won’t listen to this!” and I put my hand on my heart and began speaking to myself with kindness.

Self-love is a thing, but we’re never taught how to do it – or why it’s important. Quite the opposite… we’ve been told it’s selfish if we also want to receive. As women, our brains are wired for nurturing others. We love to give but one of the reasons that women are more depressed than men is that we ruminate more on the negative. We worry more. It’s great for taking care of others, but horrible for taking care of ourselves.

You deserve better. You deserve the same love and kindness you give to your best friend, your kids, your mail carrier! Inside of you is a sweet, tender soul that is so good, so beautiful, and so worthy of genuine love. You’ve overcome so much, you’ve been so brave to keep going every day. You are brilliant and unique and here for purpose – not despite your “imperfections” – but because you’re perfect with them.

International Day of Self-Love is February 13 so I’m kicking off 10 Days of Self-Love TODAY. Want to join? It’s scary and brave and going to be delicious!

Here’s how it will work: Every day for the next 10 days, I’ll post a Self-Love tool, inquiry, or exercise for us all to do on the PurposeGirls Women’s Happiness Network Facebook group, then we uplevel each other. (Click here to join the Free Facebook group!)

Then we’ll end with a “Grand Finale” totally FREE Self-Love Celebration class on Feb 13 that I’m hosting! It’s a class to learn 3 proven keys to self-love, purpose and joy.

Click here to register for the free class. Even if you can’t make the live class, register for access to the recording!

You are the only you!! And the world needs YOUR creativity, YOUR strengths, YOUR talents. We’re going to go beyond the mani-pedi and into self-trust, self-compassion, and self-celebration.

Join me on Instagram and in the Facebook group, and join the Self-Love Celebrationclass!

Plus, PLEASE share this link with 3 women who would need self-love and would benefit from self-celebration! February 13 is also Gal-entine’s Day, the day to celebrate our Girlfriends, so share this link so we build up a big ol’ sisterhood of self-loving Goddesses!

Together, we’re changing the world, one woman at a time.

I CAN’T WAIT TO CELEBRATE YOU AND SELF-LOVE TOGETHER!!

XOXOX

Carin

PS: Join my private Facebook Group to be a part of the Self Love Challenge!

January 31, 2019 By Carin Rockind Leave a Comment

Ever wanted to start a business?

Have you ever wondered what it might be like to start your own business? To write the rules? To have something that's yours?

Years ago, someone said to me, “Do what you love and the money will follow.” Deep inside, I wanted to believe her, but it seemed so idealistic. So irresponsible. So impossible.

Maybe that's because when I wanted to leave my first job, my dad said to me, “Carin, it's not supposed to be fun; that's why it's called WORK.”

He said that, but he modeled something completely different. My dad was a talented and passionate architect who after 6 months of working for the top architecture firm in Detroit, left to start his own firm. It was hard work. He built the business from scratch, attracted clients, and struggled to survive the economic recession right when I was born.

I know it wan't easy, but we always had food to eat, a roof over our heads, clothes and an annual vacation.
He did what he loved and with a LOT of hard work, the money followed.
We weren't millionaires, but we had enough, and most importantly, I saw my dad work his passion.

So when I realized I wanted to do this empowerment work in the world, I knew the only way was to have my own business.
But I was terrified. My Fear Brain screeched:
“Are you crazy?”
“Who do you think you are?”
“What if you don't make any money?”
“What if everyone hates you and you lose everything?”

So I held back from moving forward for 8 years. 8 years of depression. 8 years of feeling stuck. 8 years of feeling like a loser for not following my dreams.

I wish that I knew then what I know now: It won't be easy, but it is possible. You can have work that lights you up from the inside out. There are so many people who can teach you what you need – from video to social media to accounting to legal needs. And if you put the time, energy, focus, and work in to doing what you love, the money will follow.

I've learned a lot of this the hard way, so I want to make it easier for you. That's why on this week's episode of The PurposeGirl Podcast, I interview Genecia Alluora, the Founder of Soul Rich Woman, South East Asia's leading network for female entrepreneurs. Growing up in poverty, she started working when she was a child to pay family bills. She's overcome so much in life to lead a network of 11,000 female entrepreneurs across Asia. In this episode, she talks about mindset, overcoming limiting beliefs, and stepping out of your comfort zone. You can listen to it here!

She even inspired me to think bigger about my potential and impact. At one point, she said, “Put a dollar sign in front of your phone number and make that your goal!”

I laughed out loud, but I knew she was serious. Someone somewhere makes $6,464,830,000. So why not me?
Why not you?
That's what I love about Genecia – she makes you think!

If you've been thinking of starting your own business and you want some inspiration and motivation, listen here. Or if you have friends who have wanted to start a business, send them this link to listen.

And in the meantime, here are a few Purpose Power Tips for you:
1. Get clear on your purpose: Purpose is the active way you uniquely impact the world in a way that lights you up. It's being your true self and doing all that's in your heart. It's your why. Research shows that people who have purpose are happier, less depressed, and more optimistic and resilient through challenges. Get clear on who you are, what you're passionate about, and the impact you want to make on the world.

2. Write your goals: People who have written goals are more likely to achieve them. Be clear and specific, and hold yourself accountable. Even better to have someone else hold you accountable! Then celebrate EVERY small step! Even Googling “how to set up taxes” is a step, so celebrate that. Brain research shows that positivity tells your brain “do more of this” so celebrate it all!

3. Adopt a positive mindset: Our brains try to stop us by telling us what we can't do, so we have to flip our mindset from “I can't” to “How can I?” From ‘I don't know how” to “Who can help?” Even if you have a “failure” – ask what you can learn and move on. Take every objection your brain says and flip it into a question that puts you into forward action.

You have it in you to create anything you desire. It probably won't be easy. And it will definitely take work. But my love, you've done hard things before and you do hard work EVERY DAY. You may as well do it for something you're passionate about and is on purpose for you.

To your success!

XO,

Carin

December 4, 2018 By Carin Rockind Leave a Comment

Pleasure and Pushing Beyond Comfort Zones {with 2000 women this weekend!}

When is the last time you went out of your comfort zone? Really out? You stretched yourself to such uncomfortable places that you were terrified, yet deep down… you knew that you had to go there?

This weekend, I went there. I was with 2000 women and my mentor, Regena Thomashauer, at a conference about owning our sexuality and living BIG, and though I consider myself fierce in my pursuing my dreams, I realized this weekend how much I still have repressed out of fear:

*Fantasies I've thought were wrong or bad.
*Amazing business ideas that seem “arrogant” and “too much.”
*Dreams to do bigger, bolder work that I have held back out of fear.

Notice how all of these are things that excite me – that would bring me PLEASURE.

What about you? Where have you held yourself back out of fear?

Last week, one of my coaching clients shared that she used to stand in front of the mirror as a little girl and shake her hips, but she was told that was bad, so she became afraid to express herself. Then we talked about shopping for sexy lingerie and she lit up, feeling both excited and a bit nervous! Another client told me that she wanted to become a singer, but was told that was “unrealistic” so she became robotic and practical. Talking with her about joining a choir thrilled and terrified her in the best way!

Fear holds us back from excitement, from pleasure, from joy because somewhere along the way, we learned that as women, what gives us pleasure is wrong.
Fear makes us think we'll be rejected if we try something new.
Fear makes us think that if we change, we'll fail and feel stupid.
Fear makes us think that if we succeed, others will tell us we're arrogant.

So we've played it “safe.” But how safe is it if we feel sad, stoic, resentful, blah, or depressed?

Each time you suppress a desire, you depress yourself. You feel smaller and smaller and then non-existent. “Depress”ion is neglecting yourself.

“The Fear Brain” is necessary for survival… if you're going to be hit by oncoming traffic, you need it and want it. But when it comes to dreams, fear only holds us back. If fear is getting in the way of pleasure, of joy, of happiness… then you know that it is misplaced.

When I left my six-figure salary to go back to graduate school for positive psychology, my dad (lovingly) said it was the stupidest decision he'd ever heard. I was terrified that he was right, but I had to pursue it because the idea of empowering others was so exciting to me. It turns out that going to the edge of that comfort zone was the best decision I'd ever made. I just felt that scary edge again when I launched the Happy Woman Shop, but I did it because I believe in it and every day, I look at it with admiration, excitement and joy – even though it's not as successful as Amazon – yet 😉 .

Regena has taught me that pleasure is the center of a woman's power. We were born for happiness. And when you push your comfort zone and fulfill a desire, you expand, you feel more whole, you feel alive! At the edge of your comfort zone is freedom!

So, what are your desires? What gives you that dis-comfort and fear that's mixed with juicy excitement and “OHMYGODDESS that might be possible” nerves?

Let 2019 be the year that you do that.
We will do it together.

Can you imagine a world where you felt empowered to live your desires?Where you took the pole dancing class or booked the trip to Italy or started the Etsy shop just because it lit you up and made you excited?? Can you imagine how giddy you'd be living in that fun, excited, nervous joy? Can you imagine how THAT world would inspire children to follow their dreams?

That's the world I want to live in: A world of Happy Women.

So my commitment to you is to take seriously each of the desires that came to me this weekend and pursue them all, even if they are scary. One step at a time. And I hope you do the same.

You were not born to live small. You're too brilliant and beautiful and creative and powerful for that. We were born to live our GREATNESS fully. And though it might be uncomfortable, why are we alive if not to LIVE?

With so much love!
To your happiness,
Carin

PS – Have you visited our new Happy Woman Shop? It's filled with gifts for you and your loved ones to awaken, get more self-love and live a happier life! Click here for the cutest, most empowering mugs, t-shirts, and our signature “I CHOOSE” necklace!

PPS – We are growing the Women's Global Happiness Network on our free PurposeGirls Facebook group. We're posting weekly motivation, I'll be doing FB lives there soon, and more! Click here to join!

PPPS – For my leading podcast about the science of women's happiness, click here.

The newest episode of The PurposeGirl Podcast is the fifth in a six-part series in which I take you through six different pathways to happiness and human flourishing, and with each one I provide you with tools that you can use. In this episode I teach you all about Achievement. If you missed it you can check it out here.

August 2, 2018 By Carin Rockind Leave a Comment

Mean Girls (And Women) And What To Do About Them

Have you ever had your heart broken by other women? When I was in 5th grade, my group of friends dumped me. I showed up at school one day and they just didn't talk to me. They didn't want me to sit with them at lunch and they left me out of our weekend plans. I wondered what I did wrong and why they hated me. It stung so badly that I can still feel it.

Maybe you can relate?

Unfortunately, we're still dealing with mean girls as adults.One of my dear friends felt ostracized by the “football moms” who all got together after games and never invited her. One of my clients just graduated from college and was so excited to connect with the other women at work, but before she knew it, she found out that they were all talking about her behind her back.

At a women's conference recently, the presenter asked how many of us had been betrayed by another woman and every single woman raised her hand.

Every. Single. One.

Unfortunately, most of us have not only been victim to Mean Girls, but we've been the Mean Girl too. If I'm being honest, I've been so jealous of other women before that I judged them. At times, I've seen other women as competition. In college, I was so rude about my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend that I borderline harassed her one night.

Why? I'd love to claim insanity, but I just desperately wanted him to love me most.

Sadly, we've been (inaccurately) told that we have to compete with other women to get ahead. We've heard that there's only “one seat at the boardroom table.” That there's “a glass ceiling that only one woman will break.” That only one of us can date the Football Captain. And then we feel hurt forever around other women. It may be helping the economy with makeup and magazine sales, but it's not helping our self-worth or our purpose.

Our core human need is to be loved. We want to be accepted. We want to belong. We just haven't known how to create love for ourselves and other women without competing, comparison and judgment. Even when I speak at corporations like Progressive Insurance and BMW, inevitably, someone always asks how women can support each other instead of hold one another down.

The answer is Sisterhood. For thousands of years, women connected to support one another. Marriage was for economical reasons, so women leaned on each other for emotional support. Women fed each other's children and listened to each other's dreams.

Connection and collaboration is still in our DNA and when we don't have it, we crave it. I sometimes think that we crave women's love even more than a man's love because when women love us, we feel like we belong.

This is why I build the Sisterhoods I do. This coming weekend is my annual Goddess Girls Retreat where 29 women will gather to support, uplift, cheerlead and love one another. Every woman will share her pain, clarify her truth, and state her desires. And then all of her Sisters will cheer her on with wild, glorious, joyful abandon!

Women who join my PurposeGirl Retreats and Sisterhoods are constantly amazed by the depth of love, authenticity and support that they receive from the other women. Women say they've never experienced anything like it and these new Sisters become their best friends for life.Sure, women get jealous, but in Sisterhood, we flip envy into inspiration and ask how we can help.

Do you have Sisterhood like this? You need one. I need one. Heck, I have 5 of these Sisterhoods in addition to the ones I build because I need it so badly.

EVERY woman is our Sister. The only way that women are going to succeed is if we begin supporting each other. Competing with and judging each other only holds us back professionally, socially, and even financially. We'd make so much more on the dollar if we lifted one another up! I'm not always perfect at this, and every day, I try. I know you do too.

You're a PurposeGirl. A woman who believes that every woman is beautiful, every woman is brilliant, and every woman is meant to shine brightly! Can you imagine if every woman alive made every other woman feel loved?Feel accepted? Feel like she belongs? Can you imagine the monumental shifts this world would make?

Recently, on the PurposeGirl Podcast, I interviewed my friend, colleague, and mentor, Caroline Adams Miller, MAPP and best-selling author of Creating Your Best Life and Getting Grit about why women tear each other down and how we can use the science of positive psychology to lift one another up. (You can listen here.) Caroline is launching a new effort to empower women to empower women. Called #Share222, Caroline teaches us on the podcast episode how to spread women's success and help us all rise to greater success TOGETHER. If you haven't yet listened to it, check it out here.

And once you listen, or if you have experienced this pain between women or want to see women lift each other up, leave a comment below and let me know what you think. Do you see women supporting women in the office and the PTA? What issues have you seen? What solutions can you share? Let's help each other rise up and change this world forever!

Women supporting each other will change this world!

With so much love,
Carin

June 4, 2018 By Carin Rockind Leave a Comment

Are You Standing In Your Power?

When you hear the word, “Power”, what do you think?
What do you feel?
Do you ever give up your power to be liked? To be accepted?

Recently, I had the opportunity to consult with a Fortune 500 company and when they asked for a lower price, I froze. My brain just turned off. I didn't even try to negotiate. I just gave up my power.

Do you ever give up your power? Maybe with your boss or mom or husband?

I see a lot of women (and men) give up their power to be liked or accepted. Maybe you're super powerful at work, but then completely lose your power in dating. Or you're super powerful at the gym, but then don't stand up for yourself to a bullish colleague or boss.

After I hung up with that company, I decided then and there to reclaim my power. I asked myself these questions:
*What does power mean?
*To whom have I given my power away? Why?
*What would it look like to stand in my power fully in integrity?

If you aren't standing in your power confidently, then underneath is fear. Fear of not being liked or loved or accepted. I realized in journaling that I have a love/hate relationship with the word, power. So many people abuse power that it can be ugly. I realized that I have struggled with the middle ground between being flexible (walked over) and being strong (bitchy).

The truth is that we haven't been taught a middle ground. We've been told to “be nice” and we've seen too many examples in society where strong women are called nasty. We ourselves have held it all in until we blow up in rage.

So I made a commitment to walk the middle: Integrity, Truth, Confidence. Feminine Power is embracing and offering your WHOLE self. It's internal beauty, visionary creativity, fierce strength and deep heart wisdom combined.

Standing in my whole power, I showed up completely differently on my next call with this Fortune 500 client and won the CEO over immediately. Even though we had agreed on the lower price for the first engagement, I already pitched follow up work and he loved the ideas!

So, how could your life change if you stand in your power? Would you negotiate a bigger salary? Finally open the business you've wanted? Write the book? Start dating? Ask for the promotion? Tell your husband your true needs?

Power is internal confidence. It's knowing that you're worthy not because of how you look or what you do, but because of who you are.

In this week's episode of the PurposeGirl Podcast, I explore a new definition of power, and I give you PurposePower Tips to stand in your true power. Download the Podcast episode here and together, let's be our most powerful selves and change the world.

In so much love,
Carin

PS – I'd love to hear your thoughts on power below!