I love love. How about you?

Loving love may mean that you love Valentines Day or you hate it. When I divorced my first husband, I remember dreading it so much. I wanted a companion, a partner, a best friend to bring me flowers and hold my hand. And then I was so frustrated with myself for wanting it because I identified as an “independent woman” who “shouldn't need” love. 

The fact is that needing love is human. Psychology research shows that our early ancestors needed to be loved to survive. They needed to belong so that their tribe protected them, so our brains are wired to need it today.

The question is how to get it. So here are 3 pathways for more love:
1. Self-Love: Self-love is giving yourself the love that you give to others. If you want a partner to adore you, then what would self-adoration look like? If you want a partner to respect you, how can you further respect yourself right now? How do you pleasure yourself? What do you say to yourself in the mirror? Do you have “primers” or affirmations around the house to remind you that your body is beautiful and your dreams are sacred? If you struggle with self-love, I've written a Self-Love Guide and Workbook that will teach you how to flip negative self-talk into positivity, show you what's wonderful about you, and give you immediate tools to have more self-love NOW! Click here for the self-love guide.

In fact, I've found it necessary for my mental well-being to have “primers” of self-love all around me. That's why we created self-love products for you like the “YOU ARE PERFECT AS IS” mug, the “I CHOOSE” necklace, “My Dreams are Sacred” art prints and more, so head over to the shop right now if you want to double down on self-love for you, or give it to a friend! Click here to go to the Happy Woman Shop!

2. Sisterhood: Every woman needs a tribe of loving, cheerleading, supportive women around her. This past weekend, I kicked off my EMPOWERED group coaching program in Miami and these incredible women mirrored each other's strengths and gifts. When one woman, who is in the middle of chemotherapy therapy treatments finished the retreat, she said “The love, the healing, the acceptance, and the support that I experienced was beyond anything I could have imagined. It was medicine for my soul.” When I had my miscarriage, I leaned on my Sisterhoods to nurse me back to health. When I wanted to expand my impact on the world, I leaned into a Sisterhood of other women entrepreneurs. Hundreds of years ago, men were at war or hunting for food, so women cared for the villages together. Therefore, needing connection with other women is in our bones and cells. We were never meant to do life alone. So if you crave a tribe of incredible women, know that you can join our PurposeGirls: The Women's Happiness Network Facebook group and we will love all over you. It's a safe place to receive connection and tons of support! Click here to join!

3. Romance:  Whether you're in a romantic relationship or not, chances are you crave a bit more. Maybe you want more intimacy with your partner or you want your lover to write you more love letters. Josh and I show love differently so we're always revisiting how the other wants and needs to be loved. Given that I'm not an expert in romance, I've brought in one of my favorite Love Experts on this week's episode of The PurposeGirl Podcast. Marni Battista is a dating coach and romance expert who has taught me how to be open to receiving more love. I found her before I was married to Josh and loved the refresher course I got when interviewing her! This interview is for every woman wanting love and wanting to get it with dignity! Click here to listen!

Of course, there are more pathways to love – furry friends, kids' raspberry smooches, and time with Mother Nature, but I hope these 3 pathways above give you an ignited boost today. 

You deserve all the love in the world.

XO,
Carin

Hi love,

Last week, I shared with you my passion for eradicating the crazy amount of depression and anxiety among women (read it here) and I have been blown away by your responses. Thank you for wanting to end depression with me.

Your encouragement led me to further think about the causes of women's depression and a major one is loneliness.

We're isolated.
Saying hi to each other in school pick up lines and in the breakroom, but we're often hiding our truth.
We're keeping quiet instead of speaking up.
We're running households and businesses, trying to do it all by ourselves.
And it's not working.

I remember being married to my first husband and feeling so lonely, even though he was in the bed next to me. I remember being with a group of girlfriends feeling so lonely because they all had kids and I didn't. I remember feeling so lonely in high school when I loved a girl and felt like I couldn't tell anyone. I remember being in middle school feeling so lonely because I wasn't invited to Movie Night.

Just recently, I felt lonely, like no one would get my anxiety, like no one would love me if they knew my pain. I texted my Soul Sister Stacey that I needed support, but then felt guilty. She has kids and a thriving business. She didn't need to care for me too! But she said, “We process in sisterhood. No aloneness.” (Thank Goddess for her!)

It's actually a huge reason why I create Sisterhoods – on retreats, in my EMPOWERED program, and in my upcoming science of women's happiness program – I create the Sisterhoods I always craved. Just this weekend, Stacey and I co-led a beautiful, transformative retreat where each woman listened to one another deeply, we mirrored one another's beauty, we celebrated each others' gifts, and we lifted each other up to be the brave Goddesses we see. As one participant told us at the end, “I feel so full now – so nurtured.”

What about you? Do you ever get lonely? 

With screens and social media, we're becoming lonelier. We have more “friends” but less Soul Sisters. And we need Soul Sisters.

Research shows that a major cause of women's midlife depression is that between demanding work schedules, aging parents and young kids, time with girlfriends is one of the first things to go. But research also shows that women need other women. Women with close friends are healthier and happier. 

Needing other women is in our bones.
It's in our DNA.
Think about it – we're the product of our ancestors and for thousands of years, women gathered to care for and nurture each other. Just two generations ago – my grandmother gathered with her girlfriends to play mahjong three times a week. That gathering, that need for connection is in our bones.

It's why women I work with say this:
“Because of you, I've met my best friends for life.”
“I never knew how much I needed other women, but my Sisters have lifted me higher than I ever could have gone alone.”
“This Sisterhood is everything to me.”

This is so important, that I taped this video for you.

If you're interested in learning more about women's depression and anxiety and being part of the solution and you haven't yet emailed me, then email me and say “YES!” I'm working on what a movement to change our well-being forever would look like and I'd love to be in Sisterhood with you.

With so much love,
Carin