Happiness Archives - Page 2 of 5

August 2, 2018 By Carin Rockind Leave a Comment

Mean Girls (And Women) And What To Do About Them

Have you ever had your heart broken by other women? When I was in 5th grade, my group of friends dumped me. I showed up at school one day and they just didn't talk to me. They didn't want me to sit with them at lunch and they left me out of our weekend plans. I wondered what I did wrong and why they hated me. It stung so badly that I can still feel it.

Maybe you can relate?

Unfortunately, we're still dealing with mean girls as adults.One of my dear friends felt ostracized by the “football moms” who all got together after games and never invited her. One of my clients just graduated from college and was so excited to connect with the other women at work, but before she knew it, she found out that they were all talking about her behind her back.

At a women's conference recently, the presenter asked how many of us had been betrayed by another woman and every single woman raised her hand.

Every. Single. One.

Unfortunately, most of us have not only been victim to Mean Girls, but we've been the Mean Girl too. If I'm being honest, I've been so jealous of other women before that I judged them. At times, I've seen other women as competition. In college, I was so rude about my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend that I borderline harassed her one night.

Why? I'd love to claim insanity, but I just desperately wanted him to love me most.

Sadly, we've been (inaccurately) told that we have to compete with other women to get ahead. We've heard that there's only “one seat at the boardroom table.” That there's “a glass ceiling that only one woman will break.” That only one of us can date the Football Captain. And then we feel hurt forever around other women. It may be helping the economy with makeup and magazine sales, but it's not helping our self-worth or our purpose.

Our core human need is to be loved. We want to be accepted. We want to belong. We just haven't known how to create love for ourselves and other women without competing, comparison and judgment. Even when I speak at corporations like Progressive Insurance and BMW, inevitably, someone always asks how women can support each other instead of hold one another down.

The answer is Sisterhood. For thousands of years, women connected to support one another. Marriage was for economical reasons, so women leaned on each other for emotional support. Women fed each other's children and listened to each other's dreams.

Connection and collaboration is still in our DNA and when we don't have it, we crave it. I sometimes think that we crave women's love even more than a man's love because when women love us, we feel like we belong.

This is why I build the Sisterhoods I do. This coming weekend is my annual Goddess Girls Retreat where 29 women will gather to support, uplift, cheerlead and love one another. Every woman will share her pain, clarify her truth, and state her desires. And then all of her Sisters will cheer her on with wild, glorious, joyful abandon!

Women who join my PurposeGirl Retreats and Sisterhoods are constantly amazed by the depth of love, authenticity and support that they receive from the other women. Women say they've never experienced anything like it and these new Sisters become their best friends for life.Sure, women get jealous, but in Sisterhood, we flip envy into inspiration and ask how we can help.

Do you have Sisterhood like this? You need one. I need one. Heck, I have 5 of these Sisterhoods in addition to the ones I build because I need it so badly.

EVERY woman is our Sister. The only way that women are going to succeed is if we begin supporting each other. Competing with and judging each other only holds us back professionally, socially, and even financially. We'd make so much more on the dollar if we lifted one another up! I'm not always perfect at this, and every day, I try. I know you do too.

You're a PurposeGirl. A woman who believes that every woman is beautiful, every woman is brilliant, and every woman is meant to shine brightly! Can you imagine if every woman alive made every other woman feel loved?Feel accepted? Feel like she belongs? Can you imagine the monumental shifts this world would make?

Recently, on the PurposeGirl Podcast, I interviewed my friend, colleague, and mentor, Caroline Adams Miller, MAPP and best-selling author of Creating Your Best Life and Getting Grit about why women tear each other down and how we can use the science of positive psychology to lift one another up. (You can listen here.) Caroline is launching a new effort to empower women to empower women. Called #Share222, Caroline teaches us on the podcast episode how to spread women's success and help us all rise to greater success TOGETHER. If you haven't yet listened to it, check it out here.

And once you listen, or if you have experienced this pain between women or want to see women lift each other up, leave a comment below and let me know what you think. Do you see women supporting women in the office and the PTA? What issues have you seen? What solutions can you share? Let's help each other rise up and change this world forever!

Women supporting each other will change this world!

With so much love,
Carin

May 24, 2018 By Carin Rockind Leave a Comment

What’s your BODY telling you?

How do you feel about your body?
Be honest.
Do you hate on it for your belly's softness?
Beat on it for not looking like you did when you were 21?
Or maybe you ignore it, hoping it leaves you alone?

If any of these resonate, you're not alone.
90% of American women dislike some aspect of their bodies.
And according to a 2016 study commissioned by Dove that researched more than 10,000 females in 13 countries, 85% of all women and 79% of all girls opt out of life activities – like dating, trying out for a team, going to a job interview, or spending time with friends and family – because they don't feel good about how they look.

This madness needs to end.
#WeDeserveBetter

We've been told a lie that our bodies are about looks. What BS!
Your body is an instrument to live your best, most vibrant life!
Your body allows you to:
*Dance
*Kiss
*Learn
*Write
*Sing
*Hold babies
*Run after grandchildren
*Speak to the board of directors
*Launch that bakery you've always wanted to
And so much more. Your body is a TREASURE for all it does for you!

We live this one glorious life full of nature walks, river rafting, acrylic painting, sweater knitting, pole dancing, orgasms, hugging your grandmother, running with your puppy, riding horses, presenting your business plan, being known as an expert in your field, riding a pink Cadillac with the top down and wind in your hair…
All of which requires a healthy, vibrant body.

So we need to change how we view our bodies from something that is “pretty” or not – to something that facilitates LIVING.
We need to change how we treat our bodies from dumptruck of pain to temple of desire and beauty.

Your body is always telling you what you want and need – and don't want – if you listen and treat it well. When you get a lump in your throat, butterflies in your belly, hardness in your chest, openness in your heart, tingles on your skin, chills up your spine – your body always gives you information.

But to hear your body, you have to love it with kindness and trust.

*Did you know that moving your body creates the protein BDNF which is like “miracle grow” for your brain? So when you move you literally create the opportunity for your brain to learn new habits, try new activities, and work for you?
*Did you know that 80% of serotonin (the mood hormone) is produced in your gut, so what you eat directly impacts depression?

You can make your body work FOR you and my recent podcast shows you how. (Click here to listen.) I interview Emiliya Zhivotovskaya, CEO and Founder of The Flourishing Center, the benefit-corp that created the brilliant Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology program. She's an expert in Mind-Body Medicine and she teaches us all about VITALITY. Listen to the episode here.

And if you don't have time to listen, here are 3 quick tips:
1. Look into your eyes in the mirror and say “I love you” gently and softly over and over again.
2. Choose a body part (like your belly) and think of all the things it does for you, and have gratitude for it.
3. Think about something you want to DO and how your body can help you with it. Thank your body for it.

The more you love your body, the more you'll hear what it's telling you, and the happier you'll be.

Here's to you living a life of Vitality and Joy!

XO,

Carin

May 1, 2018 By Carin Rockind Leave a Comment

Ever Feel Lonely?

Hi love,

Last week, I shared with you my passion for eradicating the crazy amount of depression and anxiety among women (read it here) and I have been blown away by your responses. Thank you for wanting to end depression with me.

Your encouragement led me to further think about the causes of women's depression and a major one is loneliness.

We're isolated.
Saying hi to each other in school pick up lines and in the breakroom, but we're often hiding our truth.
We're keeping quiet instead of speaking up.
We're running households and businesses, trying to do it all by ourselves.
And it's not working.

I remember being married to my first husband and feeling so lonely, even though he was in the bed next to me. I remember being with a group of girlfriends feeling so lonely because they all had kids and I didn't. I remember feeling so lonely in high school when I loved a girl and felt like I couldn't tell anyone. I remember being in middle school feeling so lonely because I wasn't invited to Movie Night.

Just recently, I felt lonely, like no one would get my anxiety, like no one would love me if they knew my pain. I texted my Soul Sister Stacey that I needed support, but then felt guilty. She has kids and a thriving business. She didn't need to care for me too! But she said, “We process in sisterhood. No aloneness.” (Thank Goddess for her!)

It's actually a huge reason why I create Sisterhoods – on retreats, in my EMPOWERED program, and in my upcoming science of women's happiness program – I create the Sisterhoods I always craved. Just this weekend, Stacey and I co-led a beautiful, transformative retreat where each woman listened to one another deeply, we mirrored one another's beauty, we celebrated each others' gifts, and we lifted each other up to be the brave Goddesses we see. As one participant told us at the end, “I feel so full now – so nurtured.”

What about you? Do you ever get lonely?

With screens and social media, we're becoming lonelier. We have more “friends” but less Soul Sisters. And we need Soul Sisters.

Research shows that a major cause of women's midlife depression is that between demanding work schedules, aging parents and young kids, time with girlfriends is one of the first things to go. But research also shows that women need other women. Women with close friends are healthier and happier.

Needing other women is in our bones.
It's in our DNA.
Think about it – we're the product of our ancestors and for thousands of years, women gathered to care for and nurture each other. Just two generations ago – my grandmother gathered with her girlfriends to play mahjong three times a week. That gathering, that need for connection is in our bones.

It's why women I work with say this:
“Because of you, I've met my best friends for life.”
“I never knew how much I needed other women, but my Sisters have lifted me higher than I ever could have gone alone.”
“This Sisterhood is everything to me.”

This is so important, that I taped this video for you.

If you're interested in learning more about women's depression and anxiety and being part of the solution and you haven't yet emailed me, then email me and say “YES!” I'm working on what a movement to change our well-being forever would look like and I'd love to be in Sisterhood with you.

With so much love,
Carin

April 24, 2018 By Carin Rockind Leave a Comment

Anxiety and Depression

I have a confession that I'm scared to share: I've suffered from depression and anxiety my whole life.

After my first miscarriage, I said to my mom, “I think I've had anxiety since starting this business.” She replied, “Carin, you've had anxiety since you were 3.”

My mom is a mathematician so she isn't one to exaggerate. I realized at that moment that the pain and suffering I had felt my whole life was a real thing.

I was always the happy kid, the optimistic kid, the playful hammy kid… and I had anxiety. I was both/and. I'm still both/and. Thank Goddess I now have the tools to love ALL of me and be happy in life no matter what.

Who knows why a 3-year-old gets anxious, but my 8-year-old self didn't feel like she fit in at her new school. My 11-year-old self was left out of her group when they started rumors about her. My 17-year-old self was beaten by my first love. And my current self still sometimes feels less than, rejected, and alone.

Perhaps it's no wonder that I study the Science of Women's Happiness.

The truth is that twice as many women are depressed as men, and according to a University of Pennsylvania study, women are less happy today than women were 30 years ago. So despite our advances and expanded choices, we have more misery. Plus, more and more kids are suffering depression. The average onset is getting younger and younger and now hovers around 14 years old.

Depression. Must. End.
We deserve better.

But how?
We learn the Science of Women's Happiness. Then we teach it.

-We learn the tools to overcome the 8 major causes of women's unhappiness.
-We learn the tools that keep us resilient to life's challenges.
-We learn the tools to identify our joy, live our strengths and follow our purpose.
-We learn the tools to love ourselves
-We learn the tools to be the whole, happy, fulfilled, bold, badass, beautiful, brave women we were born to be!
AND THEN WE TEACH THEM.

I'm learning every day.
And I want you to join me.
In coming weeks, I will share an opportunity for you to learn the Science of Women's Happiness and I want you to feel into your gut and heart if this learning is for you.

I'm looking for a select group of women who want to learn the science so that you embody it yourself and teach it to others. That could mean you're a mom, friend, sister, manager, leader, coach, therapist, doctor, dentist or mail carrier. Or, maybe you want to become a women's empowerment mentor, like me. It doesn't matter as long as you're ready to be the change the world needs now.

I taped this video for you and warning – I get passionate and I get personal.

Check it out and if any of this resonates – if you feel called to learn more, shoot me a quick email and you'll be the first to know. I'm cooking it all up – following my passion, and together, we're going to change this world, one woman at a time!

April 10, 2018 By Carin Rockind Leave a Comment

Ever feel cranky? Here’s how to shift it!

Do you ever get super cranky?

Me too. And I was getting there last week – big time.

So when Josh said to me, “We're going away for the weekend!” you'd think I would have been over the moon excited.
But I wasn't.
My stomach dropped.
My mind raced about everything else we needed to do.
We just launched our podcast and need to record new episodes.
We just got an apartment in New York that we need to start renting out.
I just picked up a book agent who needs edits done to my proposal.

We had. NO time. For a vacation.

And that's exactly why I needed it.Between traveling and working nearly every day and weekend this year, I've exhausted myself.
Just last week, I started crying over spilling and then running out of shampoo.
And then I yelled at Josh for not helping me clean it “the right way.”
I literally had a temper tantrum in the bathroom.

I was a MESS.
I needed to get away.
So we went to Puerto Rico on a glorious 4 day retreat and it filled my soul.
Daily beach yoga and meditation.
Feeling my feet in the sand.
Soaking in sun and the lapping of waves all day long.

I feel full and alive and at peace and energetic again. If you've felt cranky, you need some self-care too.

This is what a retreat does. Getaways fill you up so that you have more to give. As women, we give and give so much, but when we're depleted, we're like a car running on fumes. Clunky and on the verge of breakdown. But when you fill up your tank first, you want to give because you feel gloriously charged. Your heart is full, your body is satisfied, and you give from the overflow.

It was so magical that I scoped places for a women's retreat there. As women – who still do the bulk of the housecare and childcare, and we work in nearly equal numbers at lower pay – we HAVE to recharge in order to live well, give of our hearts, and love life. It's no longer optional. It's a necessity.

I taped this video for you from Puerto Rico yesterday. Take it in then ask yourself this: What will I do for self-care TODAY? Get up and dance to my favorite song? Take a lavender salt bath? Spend 15 minutes journaling? Take a yoga class? Or book a retreat and watch how lit up you feel – and how that light then changes your mood, your interactions, your relationships, and your life? There are still a few spots left to join me in Mykonos, Greece. Click here for information. Doing these things will instantly shift your crankiness!

Whatever you do, let your mantra this week be, “I take good care of myself.”