Change Archives - Page 4 of 4

So you have a project or a dream you’ve been wanting to do…
…But you just can’t find time to do it.
…Or when you have time, it’s after work and you’re exhausted, so all you want is to drink wine and watch This Is Us.
…Or you make special time for it, but when you sit down, the inspiration is gone.
…Or you’re super inspired and FINALLY going for it – but you don’t have the money.
…Or your dog ate the materials… You get the idea.

We all have a million excuses why we aren’t doing what we want to do.

Even me. This morning, I outed myself to my Marketing Assistant. She’s been telling me to do more Facebook Lives because I want to impact more people and set the path to more TV appearances, but I keep not doing it.

So this morning, I dropped the excuses and got real.

I’m not doing them because I’m afraid of rejection. I used to do a video with every newsletter, but I felt stupid because my YouTube “likes” were small.

A client in my EMPOWERED program said she had no time to work out because of her kids, so I suggested they come on a walk with her. No excuses – get moving! A client in my F*Midlife program said she couldn't travel because of money, so I suggested she do a garage sale. No excuses – get moving!

What about you? What's the real reason you aren’t doing what you want? Hint: It's not your husband or job or time or money.

It's Fear. It’s that simple – and that hard. Our biology makes us desperate to belong so we fear failure, rejection, and other people’s opinions. You create mean nasty inner voices that tell you you’re afraid you'll never be thin, so you don't try, or you're not “good enough” to paint, or you're “stupid” to leave your job and start a business, or not deserving of spending money on yourself.

But the voices are lies to protect yourself from being hurt. Fortunately, brain research shows that as adults, we can choose to think about it differently. It's called “reframing” and it helps you get unstuck and get moving! If “only” 5 people watch my Facebook Live, then I impact 5 lives! If no one watches, then I evaluate the time of day, content, or just chalk it up as experience. (I have to tell you – that feels so much better!)

So, today, I’m moving past my fear, as I always have. When I was afraid of leaving my corporate job to follow my dream, or afraid that SiriusXM would reject me, I took a deep breath, reframed the opportunity, told myself how awesome I am, and moved forward! You can do it too!!

Below is a video I taped for you to get out of your own way, too. And TONIGHT, I’ll be live-streaming “Make Monday Happy” for free on my business Facebook Page at 6 pm. (Click here to follow the page and get notifications whenever I go live.)

You too can drop the excuses and shift your thinking, and you can get started now!

“See” you tonight – Remember, 6 pm HERE for my live, short webinar “Make Monday Happy.”

XO,
Carin

PS – If you need help getting unstuck, take the step to join me on a retreat, or email me for 1:1 coaching. I will help you clarify your desires, get out of your fear, and move forward!!!

Change is hard. Or so we commonly believe. We become comfortable in our daily routines, we get used to our habitual ways and so we resist change. And yet, we deeply want it. We yearn for a deeper relationship, a different job, to lose weight or to begin a new healthy habit.

Of course we do… Change is natural. It is part of the biorhythm of life. Just look outside at the bright red and yellow leaves that are beginning to appear. Consider how a woman’s body changes to become a mother. In fact, according to research at Stanford, our skin completely regenerates in 7 days and all of our cells are replaced every 7 years. Put simply, change is as essential and organic as living itself, so naturally our bodies and brains and souls crave it.

But how do we make the change we want? Often, we’ll wake up one day and say “That’s it – no more sweets!” Or we’ll hear a friend say “Forget it – I’m done with men!” And then weeks – or even days later, we find ourselves just having a little bite of cake or back online looking for a guy.

So what’s going wrong? I propose that we aren’t respecting the natural process of change. Change is not instantaneous. We don’t see a tree go from fully green one day to suddenly bright red the next. Change takes time. We need to honor this natural cycle and apply it to our own lives. As my friend and colleague, Louis Alloro says in SOMO (Social Emotional Leadership) Labs, change can be “full of ease and grace.”

First, we must be clear about the change we are hoping for. Not just that we want a different job, but specifically, what attributes of a workplace and colleagues matter, how do we want to feel about the work we do? Positive psychology, the scientific study of well-being, tells us that hope is very powerful in igniting change because it gives us agency to make change and it empowers us to develop the pathways to change. And change is made by creating new pathways. According to research out of MIT habits are neural pathways, or patterns, formed in our brain to quickly respond to certain triggers. This means that when your brain senses the trigger (ie: walking by a bakery), your brain is prompted back to the old habit. Routines or habits you’ve formed took time to establish and now you must take time to change them. You must accept, love yourself for it and then begin to create NEW neural pathways – new habits. For instance, when you walk by the bakery and your brain thinks “let’s eat!” – instead breathe, smile and then in mantra, “I am healthy”. Do this every time you walk by a bakery and begin to see the habit change.

Autumn is a natural time to reflect on the change you want in your life. I hope you use this cyclical gift of nature to get more of what you want in life.

For more tips and tools on change this Fall, check out HealthyStyleNY.com’s October 13 one-day retreat: Time for Change.

No More Excuses – Get Going!

Change is Hard… Or is it?