Ever since my miscarriage, I've been feeling a lot of anxiety. It's normal, of course, and it's made me take a good hard look at my life.
I'm a perfectionist. I constantly compare myself to others and beat myself up for not being “more.” I've obsessed over what people think of me and given way too much credence to others' opinions. I've believed that if I am not big and famous, I am nothing. One bad radio show and I've thought I was doomed. Put simply, I've felt not good enough and it's killing me. It's a recipe for misery, so NO MORE!
There. I said it. Now it's your turn. What do you need to admit to yourself so that you can finally have the freedom, peace, and purpose you desire?
Most of us walk around with stories that we are not good enough. We think we have to do more, be more, or have more to be okay. Or we have to be quiet and hide our true selves to be loved. There's a biological reason: we're wired to want to belong. Your brain, desperate for survival, obsesses about who you have to be in order to fit in. And then you end up anxious, sad, lost, stuck, or depressed.
Let's end this madness. We'll do it together. The way to succeed isn't to “do more” but to “be yourself.” Your true self. Live your strengths instead of trying to be like everyone else. Speak your wisdom instead of holding it in. Live your purpose instead of staying in a job that you hate. Savor time with loved ones instead of checking your phone for what you need to do next. Take the art class you've wanted to just because it will fill you with joy. Enjoy the path, one step at a time, savoring every single moment for the miracle that it is.
When you know that you are good enough as is, you can freely pursue your dreams with joy. You don't attach your self-worth to the outcome because you know that you are already worthy regardless. So if you get rejected, you just try again. And the most beautiful part? You enjoy the path.
This is easier to say than do, I know. And I'm committed because it's so freakin' FREEING! Here's an exercise I love to help you. In her book, “Loving What Is,” Byron Katie brilliantly suggests 4 questions to overcome the “not good enough” beliefs and love what is:
- Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to 3.)
- Can you absolutely know that it's true? (Yes or no.)
- How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
- Who would you be without the thought?
When I did this exercise with a client last week, she said that without old thoughts, she'd put her beautiful art in the world. What about you? Who would you be, what would you do, without the “not good enough” thoughts?
You are on this earth to be the full expression of your soul. As is. That is how you'll succeed. And be Happy. Your SPARK: You are enough right now. And so am I.
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