Do you ever just feel like you're ready for change?
Like there's something bubbling up inside of you, wanting to come out, aching to be set free, wanting to play and feel positive, and even if you don't know what it is, it feels like you're going to burst from the weight of it?
Yeah, me too. 🙂 And seemingly, everyone else too! Four of my clients are considering divorce, two said yesterday they were aching for adventure, a dozen are yearning for purpose. Even my corporate clients crave change – I spoke at MetLife's Global Leadership Forum last week on change management and am keynoting for AAA next month on change leadership.
Maybe it's the season, or maybe it's the upcoming election, but we're all craving change. And unfortunately, it's causing a lot of angst for us all.
Maybe you're restless, maybe you feel stuck, maybe you've been depressed. On one of my group coaching calls last night, one woman said she's so ready for change that she's overwhelmed and anxious. Another said it's so scary, it makes her want to crawl back in a hole. Another said that her desire for change is so strong, AND so frightening, that she's frozen and can't take action. I totally get it. I'm sure you do, too.
When you know you're ready for change, it gets hard before it gets great. Let me repeat that – it will be painful before it's purposeful. It will be dark before there is light. Always. And only those who lean into the darkness and USE it for growth will thrive.
That's the process of change – trees withstand cold, harsh winters to blossom more vibrantly in Spring. Butterflies were caterpillars who disintegrated into brown, ugly goo in cocoons before they grew colorful, beautiful wings.
You, too, will have to go through the pain, through the challenges, through the hardships to soar. But make no mistake, you will soar, and it will be great – if you see the process through.
If you don't, you will stay stuck, anxious, tired and overwhelmed. You may be able to deny your heart's desire for awhile, but it will come back either in physical or mental illness. One of my clients went on anti-depressants because she's afraid to leave her marriage. Taylor Strecker said on SiriusXM today that she got hemorrhoids from the stress of wanting to leave her marriage. The desire for change won't go away – it will just get stuck in your body.
But you can make change. You can choose to lean in, explore, and go through it. It requires an open mind, a willing heart, courage, and support, but you have that. You can do that!
This week was Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, and every year, I go through the same process.
1. Inventory what IS working and commit to more of that. If you have a good friend, schedule a coffee date ASAP. If you love your home, spend a few minutes tomorrow morning appreciating it. Gratitude tells your brain that you want more of that.
2. Be honest about what is no longer working, and get clear on the essence of what you do want. For example, if you hate your job, begin with asking how you want to feel in your job. Get curious about what makes you feel fulfilled and alive. The feeling will help guide you to actions that provoke it.
3. Admit how YOU need to change. Have you allowed fear of rejection or shame of not being good enough to hold you back? Have you acted in ways you're not proud of? Admit it. Be kind to yourself about it. (You're human!) And then apologize and/or promise yourself to make changes for the better.
4. Commit. Every change begins with a decision to change. A decision to move past the fear, regret, and shame, and to lean in. Josh and I sent our regrets and our hopes down the river to symbolically let them go and allow our commitments to flow.
5. Get support. You were never meant to do this alone. Neither was I. That's why I have a coach, attend retreats, and participate in a divine sisterhood. That's why I create them. We need others saying that they hear us, see us, get us, and believe in us. I shared my recent angst with my sisterhood and they REJOICED in my desires. They HELD me through the pain of letting go. And they MIRRORED that they believe in me. I felt so supported, loved, and held. It was heaven!!!
Very soon, I'll be announcing a new Sisterhood for you. I'm SOOO excited – it's my most affordable opportunity yet for you to embrace and create change and it is CHOCK FULL of mentorship with me, guest experts, empowerment exercises and so much more. I can't wait! Stay tuned to your inbox for info soon!
And in the meantime, lean into change. Allow yourself to know the essence of the life you desire and experiment with the feeling of playfulness you crave.
With so much love,
PS – If you missed the webinar, F*Midlife: Take Control of Your Life NOW! — not to worry! Register here and you'll get the recording!
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