Hi Loves!

I'm just back from 10 days of travel, and I wasn't going to email you today because I'm tired, but I keep thinking of a woman I met while away and knew I had to email you.

In a “chance” meeting at a coffee shop, she shared that despite having healthy kids and a loving husband, she still feels empty inside. I get it. I'm sure you do, too. We've all felt this before.

I used to look everywhere for happiness, thinking, “If only I were married,” “If only I lived in New York,” “If only I made 6 figures…then I'll be happy.” I “achieved” it all and still ended up deeply depressed. And then one day I looked in the mirror and knew a deep truth:

Happiness is an inside job.
And I am worthy of happiness.

The way to happiness is to LOVE YOURSELF WHOLLY. Even the parts of you that you hate. Finding compassion for the younger you that made decisions you regret, falling in love with the sensitivity of your heart. It's not easy, and I still work on it every day, but the more I love the part of me that is afraid, the more I accept the part of me that sometimes judges others unfairly, the more I embrace the little girl inside with BIG dreams…the more I grant myself joy, freedom, and permission to follow my heart!

So my love, your SPARK for the week is:

You are WHOLE.
As is.
Now.
You don't need to do anything.
You don't need to have more.
You just need to BE YOU.

With so much love,
Carin

Hi Loves,

When you were a child, what did you dream of? Did you want to be the President of the U.S. giving orders in the White House? Did you imagine twirling on stage as a beautiful ballerina? Did you tell everyone that you were going to be a Mom, an Astronaut, an Actress, and a Doctor – and TOTALLY BELIEVE it? Me too!

Children are full of BIG dreams. Yet, as adults, we play small. What happened?

Someone somewhere told you your dream was silly. Or stupid. Or impossible. You began thinking you they were right. How many people can be President anyhow? And who the heck do I think I am thinking so BIG? I should just be grateful for what I have and accept what comes. (Right??!!! Wrong.)

While I'm a huge fan of gratitude and mindfulness for their scientific benefits to your brain and peace in your heart, there is a difference between appreciating the present moment, and staying small and stuck out of fear. Appreciation opens your heart; fear closes it. Appreciation makes your brain move forward; fear makes you ruminate in negativity. The key is in “both/and” – being so full of gratitude for all that is good that it motivates you to know you can have even MORE of what you want. As my favorite author Marianne Williamson says, “Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.”

You can play BIG. You can dream BIG. In fact, you must. Your beautiful gifts, talents, and heart are needed in the world!

I used to be afraid of dreaming big because I dreaded people knowing if my dream didn't come true. I also didn't want to tell people my dream because maybe they'd think I was arrogant. So I accepted mediocrity and sometimes misery… a job that didn't fill me, lovers who wanted me to be someone else, and watching everyone else fulfill their dreams while I fell into a deep depression. One day, my mom said, “No more! You're depressed because you have Dreams. You need to take action.” She helped me sort out my dreams using a tool that I STILL use today..

I still sometimes find myself self-doubting, feeling insecure, questioning my big dreams, and belittling myself. And then I need to remind myself it's normal to be afraid, that I'm inspired seeing someone else realize a dream, so it's okay to share, and that even if I “fail”, I'll survive. I always do. You do too. The worst feeling though, is regret for never trying.

Here are two tips to dreaming and achieving BIG:
1. Best Possible Future Self: This research-based exercise from Dr. Laura King says to set aside 20 minutes this week to get quiet and dream. Sit in a quiet, beautiful space, take 5 deep breaths, breathing light into your heart, and then imagine that one year from now, everything has gone your way. You feel excited and alive. What is your home like? Relationships? How do you feel about your work? Note: even if you don't have a partner, or know what job you want, it doesn't matter- embody the feeling. And if your brain wanders, bring it back. Then write all you see as if it's happened. Two years ago, I loved my little Manhattan apartment, but I as was doing this exercise, my soul said it wanted a big, plush, beautiful house in nature. I felt myself writing in my own cozy office, saw me and Josh sipping hot cocoa by the fire, and felt my heart expand in spaciousness. I felt like dancing and knew to begin dreaming big about it. Your brain doesn't know the difference between what it thinks has happened and what actually happened, so fill your brain with vibrant detailed imagery. Repeat this often.

2. Journal about your childhood dreams. Even if they seem silly now, let your inner child play. Let her write everything she ever wanted. Write it in FULL color, even draw.  Feel your heart expand and play. If you don't remember your childhood dreams, think of everything you now regret. What do your regrets teach you about what you NOW want? For years, I regretted not going abroad in college (which I did b/c of a guy). So as an adult, I decided to go there for a month. It was scary to ask my boss then for time off, but I needed to give my soul this experience. So I asked and he said yes! (You never know until you try). You can't go backwards, but you can move forward.

With so much love – to you moving forward!
xoxo,

Carin

Happy MONDAY!

What if we dedicated today to BRAGGING? What if today you stood proud and tooted your own horn? Not “Facebook” moments like your family's perfect vacation, or your kids' latest achievements, but YOUR moments of courage, resilience, and grace… how you've overcome challenges and the work you've achieved.

I'll start… Yesterday, Josh and I moved into our DREAM home. (Pictures of our sanctuary haven, and more on dreaming BIG next week!) I want to brag about it a bit. I dreamed of owning a big, beautiful plush house and a year later, I was able to move into it because I work my butt off sharing purpose with you!

Now, your turn… what will YOU BRAG about today?

If you feel like a deer in headlights, you're not alone. Thousands of women have told me that they have a hard time talking about their greatness. It feels “awkward,” “embarrassing,” or “arrogant.”

Says who? Who decided that we're not supposed to talk about ourselves?

When we were little, it was great to brag. Your 4 year-old daughter says, “Look at my painting, Mommy” and you say, “That is so awesome!” Or your 7 year-old nephew shows off his 100% on a math test, and you hug him and say you're so proud!

Of course you do! We need to be proud of each other! We need to celebrate each other!

So when did it become “bad” to say “Look at the awesome job I did!”? Just last week, I shared with colleagues how proud I am of one of my clients. She came to me a year ago, dark, depressed, and feeling lost in everyone else's priorities. She joined my #ThisIs40 program for women in their 40's and realized she was playing small when she is meant for BIG things. She realized her purpose and then joined my Certificate in Positive Psychology class and just last week was on the news! I was so proud of my work with her! I do GOOD! But my colleagues didn't reply. Crickets. Then I feared they thought I was bragging. I beat myself up for sharing my own pride – and then it occurred to me – NO! Why can't I share my own great work? I AM PROUD and I won't hide it. Neither should you.

Somehow, somewhere, someone decided that after a certain age, (and for some reason, if you're a girl), it's impolite, arrogant, bragging. And so we shut up. We wait for other people to notice us, to celebrate us, to acknowledge our good work, and then get upset when someone else gets the promotion!

This is why women still make less than men. It's time for this madness to stop and for you to start sharing your great work. According to the top researcher on positive emotions, pride is one of the great emotions that broadens your mind and helps you build resources.

So I want to hear YOUR achievements  My email box is officially open to hear you brag! What is something AWESOME you did this week, this month, or this year? Email me!

Seriously – let's speak up ladies, let's brag! And CELEBRATE each other!!

With so much love,
Carin

PS – Last week, I said a BIG announcement was coming this week, but the move has delayed me a bit. Stay tuned – it's coming soon! Eek – I'm SOOO excited!!!

PPS – Remember to send me your brags!

Hi,

Who do you trust? Completely and totally trust with your heart and soul's desires? A dear friend? A partner? Yourself?

All week, I've been sitting with these questions. In my Divine Feminine Priestess training, I've realized how much I've hidden behind walls to protect my sweet little heart. I probably created them when I was a little girl living in a very loud household with dominating men. The walls then grew taller when I was abused in high school by my girlfriend, and then the walls empowered me to be bullishly strong in corporate business.

But, today, the walls don't help me. Now they just keep me from the deep soulful connections I desire. Today, the walls let me hide, disconnect, and they make me try to control others. But after a hard day of two people I love being admitted to the hospital, I'm remembering… I can't control anything outside of me. I can only open my heart to love – and trust that I can cope with disappointment.

What about you, what trust are you desiring? How are you getting in your way?

Trusting others begins with trusting yourself. I distrusted myself because I fell in love with someone who abused me, and then I further distrusted myself because I married someone whom I later divorced. Two whammies – goodbye trust! But then I kept thinking… that is also the heart that left my corporate 6 figure salary and VP title to follow my dreams as a Positive Psychology empowerment coach. That is also the heart that opened to love again with Josh, and that loves clients, women worldwide, and has become vulnerable. My heart deserves trust.

And so does yours.

Trust begins with trusting yourself. The more you trust yourself, the less you need walls because you will listen when your heart tells you whom to befriend and whom to let go of. The more you trust yourself, the less you will need to control others because you will trust that you will be okay no matter what. Here are four tips to trust:

1. Whatever old issues of distrust you're hanging on to, release them, knowing you were doing the best you could at the time. Have love and compassion for yourself, release, and forgive yourself.

2. Think of something you now LOVE and adore (an activity, a TV show, a book, a project). Feel what your heart physically feels like. (Likely, it's open, soft, light – remember that).

3. Now think of something you DESPISE, resent, think you “should” do but dislike. Feel what your heart physically feels like (Dark, heavy, closed – remember that. My client last week said it was like a rotten apple!)

4. Use this heart test when making decisions, considering options, and opening up to others.

It's called “heart-knowing”. Your heart was the first organ to develop and it always knows. Trust it. Trust yourself.

With so much love,
Carin

PS – BIG announcement coming this week – I'm SOOO excited!!! Stay tuned!!!

Hello my love,

This month, I've committed to doing something that scares the daylight out of me – finishing my book proposal for a NY publisher! It's my biggest dream…  and the thing I am most afraid of failing at! I need all the COURAGE I can muster, so…

Our SPARK for this week is: I was BORN with COURAGE!

In all my years of helping people live their purpose, one (and only one) thing holds people back: FEAR. Your monkey mind (aka animal instinct brain) tries to keep you safe with all sorts of negative self-talk like, “You'll probably fail!”… “Who do you think you are to have such a big dream?”… “Are you crazy? You'll never make money doing that!”

Sound familiar? Your animal instinct brain is all about survival so it is trying to keep you safe. But you must pursue your dreams with courage!

My mind has been SO afraid that this publisher will reject me and my biggest dream will DIE, that I've busied myself with other projects and hidden like a small child. Well – that was before August 30. I was teaching my Certificate in Positive Psychology students GOAL ACHIEVEMENT and asked them to commit to completing a BIG HAIRY AUDACIOUS GOAL by our next class, Sept. 25… which meant I had to do the same. At first I committed to a smaller goal and *knew* I was hiding. So I mustered courage, upped the ante, and committed to to write the material that the publisher asked for by this weekend.

I am on track, but with just a week left, I need more COURAGE to make it through. Maybe you can relate. You have a dream but are afraid of failure. You have a desire, but fear rejection. You have a goal, but think you lack the resilience to persist.

We're in this together. We were BORN with COURAGE. Just watch a baby try to walk… she falls down, and gets back up, falls down, and gets back up. We each were born with courage and I'm using every bit of it to complete this goal and hit “send” on my computer.

Will you join me in setting a BIG GOAL and pursuing it with COURAGE? If you need to muster some courage, JOIN ME TOMORROW at Noon ET for my free monthly Purpose Power Hour. It's all about regaining the courage within to move forward. We'll do it together. Click here to register!

Again, it's totally FREE. Purpose Power Hours are my gift to YOU for being dedicated readers. So join me and together, we'll gain the courage to pursue our great purpose!

With so much love!
xo,
Carin

PS – If you want courage to get the LOVE you want, and you missed my Succeed As You in LOVE webinar with Sirius XM's Taylor Strecker, Click here to get the recording! Whether you're currently in a romantic relationship or not, this recording and the accompanying 9 page workbook will teach you how to love yourself and improve your relationships! Loving yourself and being vulnerable to loving others takes courage and this great webinar and workbook will show you how! Get yours here, and join the Succeed As You party!!!