Happy New Year!

I'm beyond excited about 2016!! The energy feels different… There is an excitement, a light, a sparkle, a ray of hope in the air.

What are you hoping for? How do you want to feel in 2016? What will the year be about for you?

For me, it's about BE-ing me FULLY, LIVING my JOY.

Over the holidays, we went on a Carnival cruise for my parents' 50th wedding anniversary (yes, my parents are amazing!) and on the cruise, I was 100% the woman I was born to be: vibrant, full of vitality, loving life, embracing the moment, en-joying FULLY. No limitations, no fear – just be-ing present.

I danced to every song, screamed loudly when I won $5 at the casino, gave solo standing ovations at shows, threw cups of confetti in the formal dining room, and squealed so loudly over my hole-in-one in mini-golf that my stepson walked away from the game, rolling his eyes.

This cruise reminded me of who I am – a fun, adventurous, emotional, sensitive, caring woman who loves to ham it up, play, be silly, sassy, sexy, and real!

What about you, love? Who are you? At your core? In your essence?

Being happy in life requires that you be you fully. As I watched my 70 year old parents take over the dance floor with a bunch of 20-year-olds in bikinis, I was reminded that life is short and we are here to LIVE. Your purpose is to be you, all of you, in every situation. You are here to be so lit up that you light up the world with your brilliance.

This may sound obvious but in the busy-ness of life, we forget. And worse, for fear of others' opinions, we hold back. Sometimes, I hide this silly side of me out of old fears from middle school – like it's not cool to be a goof.  Screw that – I left that old story in 2015!

*SPOILER ALERT*, I now want to work on a Carnival Cruise (or at least host a cruise retreat this year!!), but this cruise got me thinking… we need to live like we're on a Carnival Cruise every day.

Obviously, we can't be on “vacation” all the time – but we also don't have to be walking zombies. You get to choose nearly every aspect of your life – what you do for a living, who you're in relationship with, what you eat, how you treat your body, how kind you are to strangers, how much you laugh, whether you bemoan your youth or dance the night away. I'm not saying it's easy, but if you've lost your sense of self, if you're trapped in a mundane beige box of life, if you are unhappy, then it's time to make a change.

It's time to COMMIT TO YOU.

So what will 2016 be about for you? What are your hopes? What are your goals? What do you really, really want? What would light you up like a Carnival Cruise every day? Claim it – and so it is!

And if you don't know your purpose, or you've lost yourself and your joy, then I am thrilled to announce that I am running my popular, powerful 4-week class to ignite your life: 2016 On Purpose. I'll share more details this week, but it is an affordable, impactful way to jump start your year. If you've been feeling stuck and you have no idea where to start, but you are dying to feel LIT UP inside, this class is for you. Click here for more info!

As you go into 2016, give yourself permission to live by your own rules. Let go, let loose, be silly, dance up a storm, play like a kid, explore new adventures and LIVE.

Here's to a dream-making 2016!
xoxo,
Carin

ps – Remember, I'm going to share more info this week, but if you want to make change in 2016, if you want to commit to you, if you want to reclaim your joy, and get on your path to living your purpose fully in the world, then check out this incredible 4 week jumpstart class, 2016 On Purpose! Click here for info!

Happy holidays!

I love, love, love this time of year. Twinkling lights, cozy blankets, oozing kindness, and time for reflection. This time of year, I always spend time reflecting on the year that's passed and intentionally visioning the year ahead.

What about you?
What do you really, really, really want in 2016?
How do you want to show up in the world?
How do you want to feel one year from today?
What new adventures would light up your soul?
What is your heart yearning to do?
Who are you meant to become?

To have what you want, and be who you were born to be, you have to clear out the old from 2015. Think about your closet – you can't bring in new clothes into already overstuffed shelves. The same is true of your life. To feel how you want to feel, to do all you want to do, to have all you want to have, you must make space.

Plus, to feel fully alive, you have to intentionally capture the good. So often in life, we breeze past the good and then ruminate on the bad. Research is really clear about this. To feel the way you want, you must savor the good, celebrate your wins, capture all of your learning, and relish in new found wisdom. Savoring builds your pre-frontal cortex, tells your brain more of what you want, and helps you move toward your heart's desires.

On Monday night, my dear friend and colleague Stacey Hoffer and I hosted a women's circle in my home to do just that. Called “Awaken Your Inner Goddess,” ten women gathered in my home to celebrate our wins, collectively cry out our past pain, release all of the old crap that doesn't serve us, and claim our great truth for the year to come. We each left renewed and ready for a beautiful year ahead.

I want you to enjoy the same. Below is my annual New Year's ritual for you to feel whole and complete leaving 2015 and to set intention for the year to come. Set aside 2 or 3 hours in your schedule, cozy up with your favorite blanket and hot tea, and then write out the following:

1. What were your great celebrations of 2015? What has gone well? What have you accomplished? What yummy moments do you want to treasure, savor, and hold forever in your heart?

** For me, 2015 brought so many dreams to life. I held my first #ThisIs40 Fab, Fierce, Feminine group where 18 women learned deep self love, uncovered their purpose and created their dreams. It was my greatest honor and I am so excited for the 2016 program! I also fulfilled my dream of hosting retreats, including a big dream of taking women to PARIS! I taught in the Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology program and increased my work on SiriusXM's Wake Up with Taylor,

I studied the divine feminine, embraced my spiritual gifts, initiated as a Priestess, and performed my first self-marriage ceremony with a client. Plus, Josh and I took a dream trip to Italy and bought our incredible home. Perhaps my greatest “win,” though, was being pregnant. Feeling a baby in my belly, celebrating with Josh, and getting excited for the adventure to come still fills every cell with wonder that I want to always remember.
2. What surprises came your way? What did you learn about yourself?
** My greatest surprise of 2015 was my desire to be a mom. When I did my annual reflection last year, the answer to every question about 2015 was “motherhood.” I thought, “WHAT??!! No – I want BUSINESS goals! My dream is to empower 1 million women!” But, being a mother rang through every cell of my body. So while in Italy in April, I said to Josh on a whim, “let's see what happens!” Immediately we got pregnant. I was freaked out, excited, scared and surprised. And then when we had the miscarriage, the real surprise came… I really wanted the baby. I was devastated. I desperately wanted that child back. My entire body ached for her. And then I knew a deep truth that still surprises me… I do want to be a mom. I am meant to be a mom. For sure.

3. What was challenging, difficult and disappointing? What did you learn from each of these situations? What learning do you want to carry forward? What new wisdom do you have from these challenges that you want to bring into 2016?
**For all of the wonder and awe of 2015 professionally, I had a really hard year personally. In addition to the miscarriage, a family member has been in crisis all year. I can't talk about the specifics, but I will tell you this: I've learned a level of compassion I never knew. In the past, when someone was a jerk, I took a sanctimonious, self-righteous, better-than-thou position. But this situation forced me to look in the mirror and find common humanity. To love someone who makes it so difficult to love them means to see and feel their pain. It means to not just imagine what it would be like to go through their crisis, but to recognize it in you. I, too, am sometimes a jerk. I, too, have rough edges and sometimes make it difficult to love me. I, too, think horribly mean thoughts. Maybe I don't say them like this person, but I'm not better than him. We are the same. We are human. And in finding our common humanity, I healed myself, our relationship, and found the true meaning of love.

4. What are you ready to leave behind in 2015? What old stories, beliefs, behaviors, patterns, and/or relationships no longer serve you?
**(Okay, this is hard to admit…) I have been plagued for a long time by the deep rooted fear that people don't like me. It makes no sense and I have tons of proof that it's not true, and yet, fear of being disliked, ostracized, and left out haunt me. It's like middle school worries all over again. Sadly, the fear sometimes keeps me from sharing my heart. Sometimes, it stops me from reaching out to make a new friend or from writing my book. Worse, it causes me to sometimes put on an “act” – as if I have to be someone different to be loved. I've done a lot of work with this old fear this year, loving the little girl inside, and showing her how worthy she is. I'm now SO ready to leave it in 2015.

Now, having written these down, take these old beliefs and BURN them – literally. Josh and I will be burning this and more up on December 31!

6. Now, with the old behind you, focus on the year to come. What will this year be about for you? How do you want to feel, who do you want to become, what are your heart and soul desires, what would light you up from every cell? I'll talk about this more in the coming weeks – this is your great assignment and opportunity.

Enjoy this great exercise. Please let me know all you discover. And if you would like me to personally guide you through this process, email me. Hosting clients in 2 hour Renewal Sessions is one of my great honors and pleasures.

With so much love,
Happy happy holidays!
xoxo,
Carin

Hi Love,

This week, I've run into three different women who said, “I want to do something different, but, I CAN'T.” The reasons ranged from money to kids to unsupportive partners.

My heart goes out to these women. But not because they “can't” pursue their dreams, but because they THINK they can't. The truth is that they can. We all CAN. It's just a matter of HOW. How to make extra money, how to speak up to your partner about what you need, how to create space for YOU and your kids, because the truth is that kids learn most from what you model. So, if you tell them to pursue their dreams, but you don't pursue yours, they will learn that.

The truth is that YOU CAN. And if you have a dream deep inside that keeps you up at night, or you have an anxious, dreadful pit in your stomach because you know there is more to life, then you not only CAN, but you MUST. You will feel alive and that will reverberate to everyone you know.

I am not saying this is easy. When I was married to my first husband, I thought, “I can't leave him – it's too shameful.” Then once I figured out my purpose, I thought, “I can't leave this job – I'll starve.” But the truth was that I could. And I did. And I'm no different than you. If I could do it, YOU CAN. Saying “I can't” held me back for 8 years. It wasn't until I was severely depressed, begging a psychiatrist for more medication, while getting shingles at 34 and then being robbed at gunpoint until I finally said that I HAD to find a way. I realized that the only reason not to do it was if I didn't believe in myself. So I decided to believe in myself and figure out HOW.

There is always a way. For instance, the woman who said she didn't have money, I asked, How can you make some extra money on the side? Can you tutor? Can you rake leaves? Do you have anything to sell on Craigslist? And, where are you spending money now that could be rerouted?

So, your SPARK for the week is YOU CAN. Every time you hear yourself say, “I can't,” say, “I CAN!”

With so much love,
xo,
Carin

Good morning, loves,

Just a quick message to say Happy Thanksgiving to you and your loved ones. It's my very favorite holiday and I needed to let you know…

I am grateful for YOU! I am so full of love, gratitude and deep heart-full appreciation for you. Thank you for reading my messages, thank you for allowing me to LIGHT UP your heart. Thank you for letting me live my purpose.

I taped this short video for you to say thank you. I hope these words sink deep into your soul so that you allow yourself the gift of self-love, self-appreciation, and great big purpose today.

However you spend today, take a moment to appreciate YOURSELF. You have committed to your dreams. You give yourself the gift of self-care, enjoying all you love, and allowing yourself to dream. You are on your purpose path.

I'm off now to make my turkey!! With so, so, so much love!!
XO,
Carin

Good morning love,

Greetings from San Francisco! Is it just me or does life seem crazy busy exhausted and overwhelming lately? I know I haven't sent you a SPARK in a couple of weeks… I hope you forgive me as I engaged in the art of letting something go and choosing to not be a perfectionist!

I've been flying all over the country teaching classes, doing my best to manage challenges at home (teenagers!), attending to details for my sister's wedding, hosting 4 webinars, supporting my amazing clients, and launching the second class of my transformational program for women to TAKE CHARGE of life!

But I'm not alone in being “busy” – you're busy too. We're all busy. And it's not changing any time soon.

Rather, WE have to CHANGE.

NOW. Women are already twice as likely to be depressed as men, and then it INCREASES as responsibilities mount, you lose yourself in everyone else's needs, and you try to do it all alone. It's not sustainable. Or enjoyable.

You have to take control of your life. You have to step back and consciously decide to change how you do your life. My mentor Christine Arylo taught me to feed the feminine first – meaning, engage in self-care, allow spaciousness for inspiration, nourish your soul for creation and have a Sisterhood of support. You have to prioritize self-care beyond the manicure. It's not selfish to pursue a dream, figure out your purpose, or have weekly Sisterhood friend dates… it's selfless because it will make you happier, healthier, and therefore a better caregiver to everyone else! When you light up, you're like a radiant sun – you light others up as well!

Rather than going, going, going… it's time to learn how to BE – be happy, be at peace, be yourself. Fully, and joyfully in the world. That doesn't mean you won't have a busy life or that crappy situations won't arise. They will. That's life. How you manage them – and yourself – as a fabulous, fierce, feminine woman will make a difference in your life.

This morning, I took time for me to BE – to enjoy beauty, move my body, clear my head, and be quiet in joy. It shifted my mindset so dramatically that I went back to my hotel to get my phone and do a Periscope video on how to have peace and happiness in the midst of overwhelm. You'll learn powerful tips you can use now. Watch this over your morning cup of coffee… and enjoy.  🙂

All my love,
Carin