This week, I've run into three different women who said, “I want to do something different, but, I CAN'T.” The reasons ranged from money to kids to unsupportive partners.
My heart goes out to these women. But not because they “can't” pursue their dreams, but because they THINK they can't. The truth is that they can. We all CAN. It's just a matter of HOW. How to make extra money, how to speak up to your partner about what you need, how to create space for YOU and your kids, because the truth is that kids learn most from what you model. So, if you tell them to pursue their dreams, but you don't pursue yours, they will learn that.
The truth is that YOU CAN. And if you have a dream deep inside that keeps you up at night, or you have an anxious, dreadful pit in your stomach because you know there is more to life, then you not only CAN, but you MUST. You will feel alive and that will reverberate to everyone you know.
I am not saying this is easy. When I was married to my first husband, I thought, “I can't leave him – it's too shameful.” Then once I figured out my purpose, I thought, “I can't leave this job – I'll starve.” But the truth was that I could. And I did. And I'm no different than you. If I could do it, YOU CAN. Saying “I can't” held me back for 8 years. It wasn't until I was severely depressed, begging a psychiatrist for more medication, while getting shingles at 34 and then being robbed at gunpoint until I finally said that I HAD to find a way. I realized that the only reason not to do it was if I didn't believe in myself. So I decided to believe in myself and figure out HOW.
There is always a way. For instance, the woman who said she didn't have money, I asked, How can you make some extra money on the side? Can you tutor? Can you rake leaves? Do you have anything to sell on Craigslist? And, where are you spending money now that could be rerouted?
So, your SPARK for the week is YOU CAN. Every time you hear yourself say, “I can't,” say, “I CAN!”
With so much love,