Last night, on a call with my coach and a circle of other women healers, I had to face a hard truth: Sometimes, I'm afraid to be my authentic self. I'm afraid that if you knew all of me – the good and the “bad”, you may no longer want to read my newsletters or work with me as a coach.
And yet, every time I hide some part of me, I feel sad, dull, defeated, and even depressed.
Perhaps you get the feeling. One of my clients is so well respected in her town that she feels like she can't go out for a drink. Another client is dying to explore her sexuality, but fears what her husband may think. What are you hiding because you're afraid of being judged and rejected?
One of the major factors of unhappiness is trying to be something you're not. It's exhausting to try to be super-mom, and totally depleting to pretend to love a job that you actually hate. So why are we continuing the madness?
Simple – we're afraid that if we're authentic, we might die. We're wired to want to belong. Think about it – if our ancestors were “different”, they may have been left out of the tribe to die at the mouths of saber-toothed tigers!
But today, we're dying a very different death. Death of spirit. Death of heart. Death of happiness. And since research shows that unhappiness is correlated with stress, heart disease, lowered immune system, increased colds, and more, WHY ARE WE STILL HIDING?
It's time to shift the paradigm and embrace our authentic selves. It's time to face what you've been hiding and LOVE that part of you wholly. Easier said than done, yes, and it's possible.
Recently a client nearly cried as she told me that everyone she knows is calling her crazy for wanting to leave her job and start her own animal care business. What these people don't realize is that my client feels trapped in beige walls sitting at a computer screen for 9 hours a day. Her current job DRAINS her and DULLS her. How is that “successful”? In that state, you can't reach ultimate success. Her soul comes alive in nature. Her heart speaks to animals. When she speaks about her new work, she LIGHTS UP!
When you're spirited and happy, your highest level thinking brain gets to work on creative solutions. So who's to say she can't make GREAT money in animal care? My dog walker has 700 clients and 20 employees. Seems pretty “successful” to me!
The key to FLOURISHING is to be your authentic self. All of you. I used to be afraid to tell you that I sometimes get depressed. And once I shared this truth, I received several notes from readers saying they felt better knowing they weren't alone. I was also super afraid to share that I've loved a woman, and when I did, a couple of gay and bisexual friends THANKED me for making sexuality ok. You may not always like my authentic self, but hopefully, you'll respect me for owning it. And even if you unsubscribe, that will be okay too because I can love myself for showing up with integrity.
This is why I LOVE the host of SiriusXM's Wake-Up with Taylor, Taylor Strecker. She is so darned authentically herself on NATIONAL radio. She's honest about loving red wine and ice cream AND hating her body, she's candid about wanting to live freely, and sometimes, feeling trapped. She is so incredibly inspiring. Does everyone “love” her? No, but hundreds of thousands of people do and she's made AUTHENTICITY successful.
Which is why I am SO honored to co-host a webinar with Taylor on May 20 from 7 – 8:30 ET, called, “Succeed As You: Three Steps to Your Happiest, Most Authentic Selves.” We're sharing how we have stepped into our authenticity and empowering you to do the same. It's going to be like a big nation-wide slumber party! Check it out and join us!
And even if you can't join us, let this note be a reminder that your true, authentic self is waiting for you. Ask yourself, where am I denying myself something I desire? What do I wish I could tell other people? What dream have I stuffed down? And then, hug yourself and commit that somehow, some way, you will allow yourself to live on purpose, as you desire and deserve.
With so much love,