To those who are moms, those who by choice are not moms, those who are struggling with fertility desperate to be a mom, those who have a challenging relationship with your mom, or a deceased mom, and EVERY other woman alive, this message is for you. 

Mother's Day can be glorious, yummy, confusing, heartbreaking, and so much more. Today, and in this week’s PurposeGirl Podcast episode, I want to honor it all and celebrate you all.

**(In fact, this topic is so touching for me that I cry about 6 times in the podcast episode! You can listen at the link below.)

I’m INCREDIBLY grateful to be 7 months pregnant, but truth be told, Mother's Day has been incredibly hard for me for the past 5 years… 
I've been so grateful for my wonderful mom, AND heartbroken that Josh's mom passed away 20 years ago and he doesn't get to call her. Plus, I'm sad I’ll never get to thank her for raising such a wonderful son.
I've been so happy for my friends who are moms, AND felt so much grief for the babies I lost.
I've felt great reverence for all that moms do, AND so ashamed of the self-pity I had that I'd never get to be one myself.

And in all that, here's what I've learned: Every woman deserves celebration today.
If you're trying to have a baby, I celebrate your tenacity, strengths and resilience.
If you lost your mom or have an estranged relationship with your mom, I celebrate your courage. 
If knew you didn’t want to be a mom, I celebrate your wisdom.
If you're enjoying pancakes in bed or calls or handmade cards from your kids today, I celebrate your love. 

In graduate school, a professor said, “The only evolutionary purpose for a woman is to be a mother.”
I was pissed. I was 36 years old and had just left my cushy corporate salary to learn positive psychology and become PurposeGirl – and this “esteemed” PhD is telling me I have no purpose?! Screw that!!  

So that night, a few of us childless women got together to have wine and vent and one of them said, “We're here to mother the world.” 
My whole body relaxed. My heart expanded. I knew it was TRUTH.

Let's face it – the world is in shambles with hate and pain and whether you have human children or animal children or you mother step-children, nieces and nephews, Mama Earth, the elderly with whom you volunteer, and more, YOU mother the world. 

It’s Purpose, and is how I’ve been able to heal the pain of not yet having my own children.

Yesterday, I celebrated my “Baby Blessing” – it’s like a Baby Shower, but instead of gifts, each woman brought in her matriarchal ancestors and read a poem or wisdom for me and baby. 50 women gathered online – my mom and aunts and sister and niece, and cousins and friends from when I was 14, in college, first divorced, from different cities I've lived in, grad school, Goddesses I've met through women's programs and PurposeGirl, and it was the most glorious, touching, uplifting 2 hours imaginable. 

Several women said to me, “Carin you have always BEEN a mother. You mother women, you mother teenage girls, you mother men at the companies you speak to, you mother ME.” I bawled, crying.
I’ve always mothered the world.
Even in heartbreak. Even in challenge.
I have Mothered the World and it’s saved my life, made my life fulfilling, and elevated me!

You Mother the World, too. Whether right now you’re doing all you can to get your kids fed and homeschooled, or you’re mothering yourself with love to make it through this time, or you’re giving advice to young or lonely colleagues about how to get through this, or you’re sending masks or groceries or donations to neighbors or nursing homes, YOU, TOO, MOTHER THE WORLD.

Even if you have your own kids, once they’re grown, you have purpose beyond them and it will lift you up to share your SuperPowers with the world! That’s what it is to live your PURPOSE. We share our juice, our gifs, our aliveness

, and the wisdom we’ve learned from pain with those who need it to help them RISE UP.

In this week’s episode of The PurposeGirl Podcast, I go deep into how we mother the world – whether as a mom to humans or as Purpose beyond our own children. I cry about 6 times as I honor my own mom, I share some of my fertility journey, and I share how you are needed to Mother the world now. It’s a passionate, emotional and touching episode that you will love. Listen here.

And if you’re struggling today, reach out to a friend to Mother you, or reach out to me. Or if you’re celebrating today, share that with others. Whatever you do, remember that a gift of Woman is Unconditional Love and we are all NEEDED.

I love you. Happy Mother’s Day.

XO,
Carin

So how's your inner dialogue going during COVID? 
Are you judging yourself for not getting homeschooling “right?”
Beating yourself up for not getting your house clean or dream project done?
Or are you like me, comparing yourself A LOT on social media??!!

I'm finding self-attack rampant right now among women! 

Things are hard enough and then we're making them harder with a double punch of self-attack!
Listen – it's normal… Our brains actually evolved to compare and be critical in order to help us “be better,” “do better,” and “survive.”
But it's NOT helpful. 
Or useful. 

According to psychology researcher Dr. Kristin Neff at the University of Texas, we think self-attack will motivate us, but in actuality, studies show that it does the opposite. It makes us DO WORSE.

And don't even get me started on how awful self-criticism is for our health! It puts us into fight/flight, heightens our blood pressure, and lowers our immune system. Not so good for COVID-19. 

Beating yourself up for having a cookie just makes you want to eat the whole box.
Criticizing your parenting skills makes you want to shut off and shut down. 
So, self-criticism is “normal” but actually detrimental.

And it's SO much worse for women.
According to the Institute of Leadership and Management in the UK, women have 50% more self-doubt than men!!
Now how is that going to help us ask for the raise, get the promotion, help our kids, approach the love interest, write that song, or start that purpose business??

It won't.
Sister, something has to change, and I actually believe that all this self-attack is coming up right now during COVID so that us women finally vomit it out, burn it up, and make a massive shift to the self-compassion, self-love, and purpose that will heal and change this world! 

Think about it – if you pick apart your wrinkles and then criticize the dark circles under your eyes, how vibrant are you for your next Zoom call? Do you really want to be seen on camera? NO! 
But if you look in the mirror and praise your beautiful eyes, your soft skin, and your Goddess like hair, you'll show up on that call confident and poised! 
The same is true for parenting, for getting that promotion at work, for starting your business and for everything! 

It's our time to shift to self-compassion.
To kindness. To forgiveness. To love. 
I said to girlfriends yesterday, “My old self-attack story is getting boring. I'm even sick of it myself!” That's what we need, to vomit it up and shift!
We need to give ourselves a freakin' break! 
Men don't beat themselves up for giving kids more screen time! 
So if your kids are fed right now, you're doing great!
If your work is getting even partially done, you're rockin' it! 

This week's PurposeGirl Power Bite is all about self-compassion. It's a 2 minute quick video to help you give yourself the love you need now. Watch it here.

And after you watch it, I challenge you to take yourself and your purpose higher. In the EMPOWERED and Goddess on Purpose Programs, I encourage women to CELEBRATE themselves EVERY. FREAKING. DAY! In the PurposeGirl Dream Business Accelerator today, we agreed to “juice each other up” with celebration every morning!

Now, if you had a CHEERLEADER in your ear every day, telling you how awesome and capable you are and giving you permission to be human, wouldn't you feel amazing?? 

That's what we can do for ourselves with Self-Celebration! And that's what we can do for each other. 
It's why I run Sisterhoods to empower you to live your purpose, like the Goddess on Purpose course and EMPOWERED program.

So vomit your self-criticism out. Get your self-compassion and self-celebration on. 
And let's put our wonderful yummy loving perfectly “imperfect” purpose and passion into the world. 

XO,
Carin