We went to a great music festival last night, but no one was dancing. The band was jammin', people were head-bobbing in their seats, and a beautiful woman around 80 stood off to the side, mouthing every word through her hot pink-lipsticked lips. But no one got out on the floor.

Except me.

The woman IMMEDIATELY joined me. She was clearly aching to dance! She swayed her hips, sang out loud, and beamed a smile at me that lit up the night!

But when I left the dance floor, so did she. I tried to encourage her to go back, but she didn't want to dance alone. I get it. It may be generational, but it's also uncomfortable to be the only one doing something different than the crowd. It's scary and paralyzing to want something “wild.”

I wonder if she would have regretted not shaking her groove thing had she not danced. In my 4 month mentorship program, EMPOWERED, I ask women to imagine their 80th birthday party and what they want people to say about how they lived their lives. What they want to say about themselves.

Powerful, right? What do you want people to say about you at 80? What do you want to say about yourself? What is the “dance” for you? Opening a business? Listening to your heart? Holding out for true love? Taking piano? Allowing yourself “you” time even though you have a million responsibilities?

Now assess: How are you living now compared to that great picture? What needs to change?

Or maybe you don't know what you deeply yearn for? You just know that something's missing and you're unhappy lately. That's so normal. And… it's not any way to live.

I find that we have at least one “midlife crisis” in life and thank goodness. We need to get to a point where we recognize that it's time to evolve and grow. We need to realize our worth and capabilities. We must recognize that when we follow our heart's dance, we inspire others to do the same.

If you've been feeling stuck and/or you want to find your “dance,” make sure you join me this Wednesday night, September 21 at 7 pm ET, for my free webinar, “F*Midlife!” Register here.

During this webinar, you'll awaken a deep desire, get clear on what's holding you back, and get practical tips to take control of your life NOW. AS YOU DESERVE! Even if you can't make it live, register here to get the recording!

You don't want to miss out on this fabulous Girls' Night In! With nearly 200 women registered, it's going to be one big party where we say “F*You Midlife” and we say hello to our DANCE!

XO,
Carin

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UPCOMING EVENTS!

Sept. 21 – F*Midlife! Join me and more than 100 others for this free webinar to learn how to take control of your life now. Your 30's, 40's and 50's can be a crisis of feeling lost, stuck, and defeated… or it can be a catalyst to feel free, fulfilled and alive. We'll discuss what's hold you back, identify how to move past it, and, you will walk away with tools to create a path forward. Register here! (NOTE: Even if you can't join live, by registering, you will get the recording, so make sure to register!)

Sept 24 – Positive Psychology (CAPP): If you yearn to make your mark on the world, join me for the Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology (CAPP) in Miami this Fall! We'll spend 7 weekends together throughout 6 months so you can learn the science of happiness and human flourishing. This is perfect for everyone who wants to impact change, beginning with yourself. Click here for information and to join!

Nov 3 – 6 – Retreat with me in Sonoma: ONLY 1 SPOT LEFT!!!!! If you've been thinking about this retreat, it's time to sign up to ignite your soul and create your path forward in Soul Spark in Sonoma! Imagine 4 days and 3 nights of luxury in wine country where you will dive into your deepest truth. With me and like-hearted women, you will harvest your desires and create something rich and beautiful from them. With a pool, jacuzzi and soulful connection, you will leave rejuvenated and fully alive. Only 1 spot left – Join us for this exclusive opportunity!
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Why are you here?

Like really here? Not just reading this email, but here on this earth? What is it that you must do while still on this planet in order to feel fulfilled, satisfied and whole? What do you need to experience? How can you expand and savor each moment to feel peace within? To know that you have thoroughly used your life well?

Sorry to get heavy right away, but my soul is begging me to go there with you today.

As you know, I turned 42 last week, and I've been reflecting on these questions all weekend. It may not seem like a “big” birthday, but I've always known that 42 would be a big year for me. Something about the number just seemed… divine. Powerful. Important.

Years ago, when I shared this with Josh, he said, “Of course. 42 is the answer to life, the universe, and everything.” (No pressure, right? Wrong – I want the pressure because I want to live as well, as wholly, as possible. And if not now, when?)

Apparently this is a book reference, but I don't believe in coincidences. My soul won't allow it. Since the new moon on September 1, it has been crying for attention. First, I felt lost – my life seemed unrecognizable to me. I wanted to run from everything. Then I panicked, I felt ill – I was doubled over in pain desperate for air. Then came the sobs. Through it all, I journaled and journaled, being honest with myself about every burning need of my heart. Most of it, I'm still processing. All of it is worthwhile.

Perhaps you recognize this “crisis” or deep reflection. Or perhaps you have been wanting to go there too. One thing I came to realize for sure: It's time to set myself free. It's more than time to stop caring so gosh darned much about what other people think. It sounds so silly saying this out loud. Life's precious – why are we wasting time caring if someone doesn't like our opinion or dance moves? And none of us has unlimited time. This is it – your time to make the most of each moment.

So here is what I've learned thus far about Life, The Universe, and Everything:

Life… is to be LIVED. Lived fully. Out loud. Get up and dance even if you're the only one. When you dance, others will be inspired. You will light a match under them. Speak up. Express your true feelings. Even if you get rejected. It's their loss, but your gain knowing that you courageously risked for love and truth, making you even more open-hearted for the next opportunity. Feel it all. Even the pain. Cry, weep, scream, rejoice, celebrate. It's all a great teacher of compassion and purpose. The deeper you feel pain, the more you can feel joy.

The Universe… is a partner. There is a universal energy flow that runs through all of us and all things. Einstein said it best – energy is matter, so where you put your energy becomes matter. This isn't a woo-woo principle, but science. All of our brains are constantly jabbering on about frustrations, regrets, laundry, and to-do lists and by the time we realize, the day is over. So you must be intentional with your energy. You have to take control of your energy and put it where you want. And when that energy is in flow, go with it. Don't fight it. Allow it. Even the shit. There's a gift in it all. I promise.

Everything… is to be appreciated. Every moment of your life has gotten you here. The moments of triumph, yes. AND the experiences of trauma. Each is for purpose, if you allow it to be. Allow it to be. Have gratitude for it all. Your absent parent? Probably taught you independence. Your cheating ex? Can fuel self-worth. And the “mundane” moments too. The lone dandelion growing from a crack in the sidewalk, the rose opening to full bloom, the sliver of moon peeking over the stars. Notice. Appreciate. Savor. Suck the marrow out of each moment so that it is all thoroughly used up, and you are completely full at the end of each day, and the end of your life.

Here's to 42, and what it offers us all.

Shine on,
Carin

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UPCOMING EVENTS!

Sept. 21 – F*Midlife! Join me and more than 100 others for this free webinar to learn how to take control of your life now. Your 30's, 40's and 50's can be a crisis of feeling lost, stuck, and defeated… or it can be a catalyst to feel free, fulfilled and alive. We'll discuss what's hold you back, identify how to move past it, and, you will walk away with tools to create a path forward. Register here! (NOTE: Even if you can't join live, by registering, you will get the recording, so make sure to register!)

 

Sept 24 – Positive Psychology (CAPP): If you yearn to make your mark on the world, join me for the Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology (CAPP) in Miami this Fall! We'll spend 7 weekends together throughout 6 months so you can learn the science of happiness and human flourishing. This is perfect for everyone who wants to impact change, beginning with yourself. Click here for information and to join!

Nov 3 – 6 – Retreat with me in Sonoma: If you want to ignite your soul and create your path forward, join me for Soul Spark in Sonoma! Imagine 4 days and 3 nights of luxury in wine country where you will dive into your deepest truth. With me and like-hearted women, you will harvest your desires and create something rich and beautiful from them. With a pool, jacuzzi and soulful connection, you will leave rejuvenated and fully alive. Only 3 spots left – Join us for this exclusive opportunity!

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Share the love! If you enjoy getting Positivity tips, so will your FRIENDS! Share it! Invite a friend to get these tips by sending them this link. Thanks for sharing the love!

Happy September 8! It's my 42nd birthday today and to celebrate, I have a gift for you to thank you!

When I turned 40, I received a lot of emails from childhood friends saying, “I've been following what you do and I don't know if it's because I'm turning 40, but…”
… “But I feel like something's missing.”
… “But I feel lost. I don't know who I am anymore.”
… “But life doesn't look like I thought it would. I thought I'd be more successful or married, or a mom by now.”
… “But I have everything I ever wanted in life and I'm still not happy. What's wrong with me?”

I recognized this “Midlife Crisis” all too well because I went through it in my 30's. The pain of feeling unfulfilled, the struggle to figure out who I am and my purpose on earth, the heartbreak of feeling like a loser. Eventually my pain forced me to take a hard look at myself and make changes. It was scary – and empowering. With each change I made to take control of my life, I felt more alive. I felt FREE.

I want this for you. I want you to feel free and alive and fulfilled. I want you to take charge of your life now. No more “Crisis” – instead, use this time as a CATALYST for radiant life.

That's why I'm holding a 100% FREE Webinar for you called “F*Midlife.” Join me on September 21 at 7 pm ET to learn how you can take control of your life now. Click here to register. (NOTE: Even if you can't join live, by registering, you will get the recording, so make sure to register here.

I taped this video for you to share more about the event, and my journey to create it.

You don't want to miss this event.

This is my free birthday gift to you to thank you for reading my words and following my work. Thank you for allowing me to inspire you. Thank you for letting me live my purpose. Doing this work is the greatest gift I can receive.

Again, make sure to join us on September 21. It's going to be a fun, informative, and inspiring night with fabulous women. The best birthday party I can imagine!!

With so much love,
Carin

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Happy loooong weekend! Hopefully you're reading this while sipping wine on your patio, lounging on the beach, or snuggling on the couch with someone you love. That's what long holiday weekends are about: Doing what you love.

And yet, in “real” life, we often don't. We make excuses to not do the things we love and it's slowly killing our happiness.

My client “Jennifer,” has ached to be a singer since she was a little girl. She went to college for musical composition; she got her masters degree in fine arts. And then for the past 10 years, she has worked at a desk job in the music industry from 8 – 6, leaving her drained and depleted with no energy for songwriting, which has only left her more depressed and questioning herself.

What do you love to do that you aren't making time for?
What excuse did you recently make to skip yoga or the painting class you've wanted to start?
What lie are you telling yourself about the burning desire of your heart?
What if you told yourself the truth and allowed yourself to do what you love? How would you feel then?

This is how one of my clients felt after acknowledging her true dreams.

I don't blame Jennifer for not following singing and I don't blame you. I've been there. We've all be there. It feels scary and sometimes downright impossible to do what you love. Society tells moms that it's selfish to take time for themselves. Magazines tell you that success means being a Vice President with a 6-figure salary and big house by the time you're 30. Your mom questions why you want to start your own business when you have such a good paying job now. Your best friend asks if you've thought about all that might go wrong. So you question yourself, stay stuck in worry, and become paralyzed in life.

Then, every time you listen to the fear, doubt, and naysayers, you kill a little bit of your spirit. You get sad and defeated, and then you feel so lost and so confused that you don't even know what you want anymore. We must break the cycle.

I've seen this pattern with nearly EVERY client I work with: We put our joy last and it's not working.

That's why the final key to my Summer Happiness Series: 5 Keys to Happiness {AKA What I Learned on My Summer Vacation} is this: Do what you love.

This applies to everything in life. You must do the hobbies you love – even if your kids are screaming when you leave to go to painting class. You must be with friends you love – even if you're too busy. And if you don't know what you love, you must begin discovering your heart now.

I know it's hard. I'm not naive to the fact that you need to pay your mortgage, you have to have childcare, and you are tired. I'm not callous to the very real feelings of fear and shame and doubt. I have lived with them from the very first day of work after college and I still live with them every day 20 years later. Every single day I am afraid. Every single day I doubt myself. And every single day I battle through it so that I get to do what I love. Literally at the end of every day my eyes swell with tears of gratitude and humility that I get to empower you for a living.

Here are pics of me doing what I love:
Teaching Positive Psych, Hosting Retreats and,  Enjoying a Farmers Market

I love what I do and I'm not special. I made it happen and so can you. The more you do what you love, the more energy you'll have. The more you say YES to your heart, the more confident you'll feel. And the more you allow yourself to live fully, the more alive you will feel.

So, start small with these exercises:
-Make a private Pinterest board of things/pics YOU love to do.
-Make a list of 3 people you love to be with and make a date on your calendar with them now.
-Ask yourself what is one skill or fun hobby you've been interested in. Find a class in it and start this month.
-Be honest with yourself about a dream you have and take one small step toward it.

And if you don't know what you love, or you need help making it a reality, contact me or another coach to get support. This is how to make sure that you don't live for vacations, but that you live happier every day!

With so much love,
Carin

PS –  In case you missed the rest of the series, 5 Keys to Happiness, read them here. Key #1 was LIVE FREEDOM (read it here), Key #2: SAVOR (read it here), Key #3: CHERISH the people you love (read it here), and Key #4 was RIDE the ups and downs (read it here).
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I am SO thrilled to announce the following events for you to do more of what you love:

Join me in Sonoma for SoulSpark: If you want to ignite your soul and create your path forward, join me for Soul Spark in Sonoma, a Goddess Girls Retreat! Imagine 4 days and 3 nights of luxury in wine country with a pool, jacuzzi and Goddess awakening exercises to finally uncover your heart's desires and embrace them. Only 3 spots left! Join me for this exclusive opportunity!

Get Certified in The Science of Happiness – Positive Psychology (CAPP): If you're a change agent who wants to expand your ability to make a difference in the world, join me for the Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology (CAPP) in Miami this Fall! We'll spend 7 weekends together throughout 6 months so you can escape the cold, and learn the science of happiness and human flourishing. This is perfect for educators, HR professionals, therapists, coaches, parents, and anyone wanting to improve the world. Click here for information and to join!
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Hi  Love,

Have you ever wished that all of the struggle and all of the pain and all of the worry would just go away, so that you can finally be happy? Me too.

And yet, life doesn’t work that way. Every single one of us has challenges. Every single one of us feels pain. Life is one big roller coaster filled with incredible highs, and horrendous lows. None of us can escape this.

When you learn to accept the roller coaster of life, you can learn to work with it towards happiness.

Welcome to Happiness Key #4: Ride the Ups and Downs

If you’ve been following my blog this summer, then you know that I’ve been writing a series: 5 Keys to Happiness {AKA What I Learned on My Summer Vacation}. Vacation makes you feel so free, so alive, so serene that I want us to learn how to feel that way every day. In case you missed it, Key #1 was LIVE FREEDOM (read it here), Key #2: SAVOR (read it here), and Key #3: CHERISH the people you love (read it here).

On our summer vacation, we took my stepson to Cedar Point, the self-proclaimed (and I agree) “Roller Coaster Capital of the World.” I practically grew up at Cedar Point and I loved showing them how I used to ride.

But, oh my, have the rides changed. They are faster, taller, and have more spins, they leave you hanging in thin air and turn you so topsy-turvy upside down that you think you may throw up. And so it is with life.

You meet a new love interest, and your heart soars! A loved one dies, and you fall to your knees. Living well is using every challenge as fuel for purpose. Life is about being strong, not despite your downs but because of them.

Last week, I shared that Josh and I have been seeing a fertility doctor – an experience that turns you so upside-down, you can't help but question your life. No one thinks they’ll need fertility treatments; our bodies are supposed to be able to do this perfectly on their own. But I’m 41 and chose to delay having children, so this is an upside-down turn that I have to accept.

The question is what I do with this roller coaster of emotions. Do you stay in the valley of darkness, anger, and bitterness or rise up in strength? I wanted to stay down for a couple of days. I was mad at my doctor for hammering me about my age. I have been angry at the universe for our miscarriage. But that doesn’t help us move toward our goal.

You have to accept the roller coaster, and then work with it.

So I got quiet. I dropped in and listened deep inside of my belly. What I heard is to reach out to others and gather stories of HOPE. What transpired was a beautiful Facebook thread of heartfelt, vulnerable posts, and generous offers of support. From a down, we created an up of positivity and community. (Read the thread here).

My inner wisdom then said to take good care of myself. So I contacted an accupuncturist and began daily fertility meditation. I have no idea if we’ll get pregnant this month, but I feel at peace, and that is what matters. My mind and body and soul are aligned, I am clear on my purpose.

This is how to ride the roller coaster. Accept it. And then lean into yourself with love.

For years, I just wanted to get rid of the downs. Ignore it, pretend life is fine. But it isn't. The pain remains in your body and will eventually come out as rage, depression, or illness. I’ve experienced all three.

Listen, if you sweep shit under the rug long enough, eventually it’s going to start to stink.

See, happiness does not come from eliminating the downs, but riding and embracing them. It’s how you work through the challenges, and rise up from them that matters! Happiness comes from living fully and sucking the juice out of every morsel of life – the good and the bad.

At Cedar Point, my stepson insisted that we sit front row on every ride. What a brilliant young man. Though it frightened me to death, he forced me to face my fears. He challenged me to embrace the challenge head on, and to enjoy the ride. (This is us – in the front row!)

Live from the front row. Ride the roller coaster. Every pain, every tragedy, and every sorrow holds wisdom and strength.

So ride the roller coaster. Be resilient through challenges. Allow the downs and accept them as part of human life. Embrace yourself through them with love. And then work with the downs to uncover the wisdom, strength, courage, and love to exist.

With so much love,
Carin

PS – I am SO thrilled to announce the following programs for you to uncover your purpose and live the fierce, free life you desire:

SoulSpark: If you want to ignite your soul and create your path forward, join me for Soul Spark in Sonoma, a Goddess Girls Retreat! Imagine 4 days and 3 nights of luxury in wine country with a pool, jacuzzi and Goddess awakening exercises. Plus, SoulSpark comes with 2 group coaching sessions, 6 recorded meditations, and a workbook to ignite your soul for the year to come. Open to only 8 women – Join us for this exclusive opportunity!

Positive Psychology (CAPP): If you're a change agent who wants to expand your ability to make a difference in the world, join me for the Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology (CAPP) in Miami this Fall! We'll spend 7 weekends together throughout 6 months so you can escape the cold, and learn the science of happiness and human flourishing. This is perfect for educators, HR professionals, therapists, coaches, parents, and anyone wanting to improve the world. Click here for information and to join!

PPS – I am thrilled to share my second article in Live Happy's Online Magazine: 4 Powerful Tools to Overcome Shame. I felt so ashamed after my divorce at 26. In this article, I share how I overcame it, and how you can too. Enjoy!

FINALLY – Share the love! If you enjoy getting Positivity tips, so will your FRIENDS! Share it! Invite a friend to get these tips by sending them this link. Thanks for sharing the love!