Do you self-depricate or self-celebrate? Have a hard time taking compliments? Do you beat yourself up or have an inner mean girl?
Then listen up.
Oh my Goddess this episode is so JUICY! I am so fired up, so excited, to bring you this episode because it’s all about one of my very favorite things – bragging!
Yes, you read that right – I LOVE to celebrate myself, I love hearing other women celebrate themselves, so, I share why you should be bragging, too.
Women are taught from an incredibly young age – far before we have the processing skills to even realize it’s happening – that we need to swallow our opinions, hide our success, hate ourselves, and constantly compare what we have and do to everyone around us. Talk about a recipe for disaster and depression!
This is where bragging or self-celebrating comes in – it is the practice of shamelessly sharing the remarkable successes you are experiencing, no matter how big or small they are!
In this episode, I talk all about:
- All the reasons why you need to practice self-celebration and own your greatness – hint: there’s physiology and psychology science to it.
- The self-fulfilling prophecy you get stuck in, and how you can get out of the cycle.
- What is a Circle of Love, how to get one, and why you need one.
- What I’m celebrating about myself right now!
- The Hedonic Treadmill and how it is holding us back from enjoying our lives!
Doors for my last EVER round of my signature program – EMPOWERED – are officially OPEN. There are only 10 spots available in this incredible 4 month mentorship program and HALF the spots are already taken! If you’re interested in learning more, you can click here(https://carinrockind.com/coaching/empowered) or click here to book a 30 minute call with me to discuss whether the program is right for you (https://bit.ly/39y6ykZ).
If you aren’t already, join the Free PurposeGirls Facebook Group! I post prompts, motivation, and do free live videos and challenges to get you on purpose and loving life!! Click here to join (https://www.facebook.com/groups/PurposeGirlsGroup/).
Also make sure you’re getting my newsletter – that’s the first place I send announcements about events, programs and share purpose and happiness tips. Click here to receive my newsletter for free (https://carinrockind.com/newsletter)!
Love this episode? Love The PurposeGirl Podcast? Then share the love!! Go to Apple Podcasts and leave a 5 star review, subscribe so you never miss an episode, and download ALL the episodes to listen again and again! And share the PurposeGirl Podcast with every woman you know – that’s how we change the world one woman at a time!!
Thank you so much for listening, love, and if you aren’t following me already, you can find me on Instagram and Facebook.
May you live purposefully, may you love yourself, and may you love life!!
Bye for now!
Carin Rockind 0:07
Are you ready for true happiness, for deep fulfillment,
for feeling alive
and in control of your life again? It's time to be the bold, brilliant,
you were born to be. Welcome to the PurposeGirl Podcast, I'm women's happiness and life purpose expert, Carin Rockind, and I'm going to teach you how to live on purpose, feel alive and be happy in every aspect of life. I'm going to get real about my life and interview women who are living on purpose so that you can finally live yours.
Welcome to the show.
Hello, my PurposeGirls! So,
did you hear that
Simone Biles, the amazing Olympic gymnast has called herself the best that there is? And beyond that, have you seen what people might say about her? Calling her cocky, thinking she's arrogant, full of herself. Well, she had the best quote, ever, ever, ever, ever this week I want to share it with you. She said "It's not out of cockiness," she told USA Today. "I've won five world titles. And if I say 'I'm the best gymnast there is.' The reaction is 'Oh, she's cocky. Look at her now'. No, she says the facts are literally on the paper." The facts are literally on the paper, I am the best gymnast that there is!! Go, Simone. Thank you. Thank you. Thank
you. Thank you.
She's owning her greatness. And sharing it. How freaking inspiring is that? Like, can you imagine if we were all just owning our greatness as the fact that they are? That is what today's episode of the PurposeGirl Podcast is all about. It is about you owning your greatness. It is about one of my favorite things: self-celebration. Yep, I know this might make you super uncomfortable. I know that it might just send shivers up your
spine to think about talking
about yourself well, and if that's the case even more reason why you need to listen to this episode. We are going to get your self celebration, on I'm going to give you all the reasons why you need to self-celebrate - why you need to brag - why you need to own your greatness, and how. Welcome to the show.
First, I have to share with you that this episode is sponsored by the EMPOWERED program! This is my four month, exclusive, intimate, mastermind, Sisterhood coaching program, where we go so deep into your desires ,into the three pillars of being that fulfilled Goddess Unleashed that you are - your purpose, why you are here, who you are rising up and sharing your greatness with the world.
Your pleasure feeling joy, knowing what sparks your feeling that sense of awe and deliciousness in your body in your life, self love.
And the third your power - speaking your voice, being courageous taking action forward on every single one of your dreams. I created this program because I am someone who has gone after every single dream I've ever had, whether it's a book, it is the baby, it's being on national radio.
And I had so many women say to me, how did you do that? And so this is my signature program, where I will not only lift you up to go after every dream you have, but you will leave soaring and flying high comfortable in your skin, confident, feeling full of self love, and in action.
Plus, with a Sisterhood that you will love and who will love you and cheerlead you for the rest of your life. And I have to tell you sisters, I have run this program for six times this will be my seventh. And I have to tell you that this will be the last time that I ever run this program.
I'm being called to create larger programs for more women at a time for more of you for all of us to get together in one room post-COVID. So if you want this intimate experience with me, if you want me to coach you every single week, this is it baby. And I know 2020 has been tough. It's left us all feeling stuck and maybe stagnant. Certainly, like we have no control. But as I always say, you might not have control over the situation, but you get to control what you do with it.
And that is what EMPOWERED is all about. I'm going to teach you how to no longer be a victim to anything in your life, but how to be the creator. So empowered in every choice that you make. And so no matter what 2020 was like for you, make sure 2021 - you get to choose because the women who did EMPOWERED in 2020, even with COVID even with losing jobs, even all of that, they still launched businesses - three of them creative businesses - because of and during the program.
They still got promoted and found amazing jobs and can you imagine one of them still got a beach house for the summer and left a relationship that wasn't serving her to create the ones that were, like can you imagine during COVID. And this sisterhood is only open to 10 women and almost half the spots are already full.
So make sure that you are reaching out to me So you and I can hop on a phone call and figure out if EMPOWERED is for you. Do it now, girl Do not wait. We start in January. So do it now, girl, do not wait, reach out to me right now.
Second, of course, I need to share our review of the week.
This review is a five star review called "inspired." It's coming to us from someone named Hello Inspire Me! I love that I love inspiring you. She says "I've been inspired! Makes me want more and to learn more. It's a self discovering journey that I have a desire to continue."
So you shall my love. So you shall! Welcome to the PurposeGirl community.
And I love reading your reviews on air. So if you want me to read your review, then you got to leave one! Go over to Apple podcasts or wherever you listen right now leave a five star review. And coming up soon I'm gonna be doing a contest for everyone who leaves a five star review. Hint: I'm going to be giving away free shit. So you want to make sure that you go leave that five star review right now.
Okay, now let's talk about a little bit of self celebration. Now I know us women, we love some self deprecating humor, right? We love when someone says "Oh, I love your shirt."
And we say, "This thing? Oh, I got it at Target three years ago" or "This thing? No, no no my baby spit up all over it."
Like we love kind of talking ourselves down. It's like become part of our vernacular, right? In fact, you ever noticed a group of women get together? How so much of the conversation is about what's wrong with us? Like, oh my G-d, I've gained so much weight since the baby. Oh my god, me too. Oh, I can never find time to go to the gym. Oh, my husband's driving me crazy. Uh huh.
Like, do we get off on self deprecation? I think that there are a couple reasons we do it. I think we do it to make each other feel better. Like that's kind of messed up. But I think that we actually do it to make each other feel better. Like, don't worry if your life stinks, or you aren't feeling good. I'm going to have a pity party with you. And let you know mine stinks too.
If you're feeling great. Maybe you feel like Oh, I can't tell my sister who's not feeling great. It'll make her feel bad. So I'll just come down to where she is. I don't know that that's really helping her like it does help to say, "Oh, I totally get it. I've so been there. Oh my god so much hugs."
And maybe it helps in that moment not to be like, "Oh, you're feeling really depressed, your life sucks? Well, I'm super awesome!" Okay, that's probably not the best tactic.
But it doesn't help for us to just sit in circle and constantly gripe and constantly diss ourselves. I've shared this story before, but I grew up with the most amazing, loving, yummy family. And for every holiday, whether it was Passover or Thanksgiving, the men would be seated at the table waiting for the women to serve the food. It sounds so archaic, but for some reason, it's what we did. And when I was like little girl, I couldn't wait to be in the kitchen with the women.
And when I was this was the conversation: different women, my aunts whomever, sticking their fingers in the turkey while they were carving it or sticking their fingers in the stuffing while they were putting it in bowls. Oh, I'm so fat. Oh, I'm so fat. It's like, I thought that was somebody's name. Oh, I'm so fat, right? It's like, that's how we talk about ourselves. So I want you to pause for a moment. And I want you to think about how critical are you of yourself?
Like, go ahead, just like, pull over to the side of the road. If you're listening to this in the car, or pull out a sheet of paper, pause for a moment. Write down: what are all the main things that you say about yourself? Like, let's just get it out. You say it anyway. Right? It's going like a tape through your head. So you may as well get it out. What are all the mean things that you say about yourself? And then you might just kind of start listing them off because we all do this, I want you to think about why do you do that? Why are you so self critical, sister? Why are you so self critical instead of self celebratory? How is it serving you?
Now you might hear this, you might go it's not serving me at all. I can't get the tape to shut up. I hate it. I don't want it. It's terrible. It's making me miserable!
But let me tell you, we only keep doing things that serve us in some way. In other words, there's some part of our psyche, our subconscious or unconscious, that is getting benefit from being so self critical. Maybe the more self critical you were when you were a little girl, people let you off the hook to needing to try hard and so it was kind of a easy pass out. Or maybe you're so self critical because then you got a lot of accolades when you're a kid if you said "Oh, I'm not that smart." Then maybe 10 other people said, "Yes, you are. You're brilliant. You're so smart. You're this like..." Right? Maybe that was how you actually got praise.
According to Dr. Kristin Neff, who is the world's leading researcher on self compassion, she finds that we are self critical because we think it will motivate us to be better, right? You think the more you say to yourself, Oh, I can't believe I said that in a meeting. How did I say I'm so stupid? I'm so stupid.
Why did I do that?
By the way, when I say you, I mean I, right? Like I have so had this tape in my head. So many times I remember being in corporate and would walk out of so many meetings and say that to myself. We think by saying that to ourselves that we will be better next time. In the meeting, we won't say something stupid next time, we won't make that mistake again, we will be better!
Well, here's what Dr. Neff finds: She actually finds that it's not making us any better. That instead what self critical talk does to us, is actually makes us feel worse. That all it does is make us feel small, and then kind of want to hide or feel embarrassed or feel ashamed. And then that influences our behavior. research study was done with bowlers, actually, I'm sure others have been done. But just one study that I found, where the scientists were researching coaching techniques. And is it more beneficial if you have a coach who says you're awesome, you can do it, you got this, I believe in you. Or coach who says How could you have done that? How could you have made that error? You're so stupid? What were you thinking?
And what this research study found was that the bowlers who had a coach that was empowering, those bowlers did better. Yeah, they may have made mistakes, but an empowering coach said, Okay, let's look at that. Let's look at kind of where things went off. How did you feel about that? What was the challenge? I believe in you to do it differently. I know that you're talented enough, I know that you can grow, I believe in you to change, I believe in you to grow...
Like that is such a different message than the coaches who said, You're so stupid, you made that mistake again. That coaching wasn't as productive.
Now take that into the way that you coach yourself. How do you coach yourself? What do you say to yourself when you make a mistake,? Right, and let's think about the word mis-tak, mistake, which means you get another retake. Hello!
Now, I have one of the most self critical minds I've ever come in contact with. Yes, I win. Okay. And so it's something I work with all the freakin time. Right? My mom has always said I'm harder on myself than anyone she's ever met. My dear friend, Alison's always said, You're harder on yourself than anyone I've ever met. Okay, so maybe I win this. But this is not a game I want to win.
In fact, I have had, and still have to shift that mind all the time. I know that that came from perfectionist tendencies as a kid wanting everyone to think that I had it all together, for being the kid who got all A's being the kid who succeeded at whatever sport she tried. And that's why I dropped out all sports because I didn't succeed at any right. Like, I wanted others to think I was perfect. And so anytime I wasn't I developed this super critical voice.
And fortunately, I've learned to shift. Taken a lot of work. But this is the stuff I love teaching, this is the stuff I love teaching, we'll go sooo deep into me teaching you tools in the EMPOWERED program.
Here's what we know about your thoughts. Your thoughts will control you until you decide to control them. Your thoughts will control you. And every thought you have, leads to a feeling and every feeling you have leads to a behavior. And that cycle, that circle there is a self fulfilling prophecy. And so if you have the thought, I never say smart things in the meeting. I always screw up in the meeting. How does that make you feel? Well, it makes me feel like shit, I can tell you that right makes me feel stupid. Small. Not very good at my job. Like my voice stinks.
And with each one of these things, I'm telling you, I can feel my shoulder slump. I can feel myself get down and frankly, get tired.
So like I said, every thought leads to a feeling. And then every feeling leads to a behavior. And so what behavior, what action will I take when I'm slumped over, I'm down, I'm depressed and I'm tired? Am I going to rock it out at that meeting? No, I'm going to show up. Blah, I'm going to show up small I'm going to show up hunched over, I'm going to show up questioning myself and probably stay silent. And then it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Do you see that?
Whereas instead, if I have the thought, I'm going to rock it out at that meeting. Everything I say is going to be totally perfect. Even if it sounds imperfect, it's going to be perfect. Everything I say is going to be so right now how do you feel? I feel excited. I feel energized. I feel motivated. Now what behavior do I have when I feel excited and energized? I rock it out. I speak my voice and I'm kind to myself if I don't, right?
So this is the key. This is why self celebration, self empowerment is so important. If you want to create a life where you have gone after your dreams where you are living in a way that you love, where you are doing the things in your heart, you're writing the book, you're opening the bakery, you are learning the foreign language, you're learning how to salsa, dance, whatever it is, if you want to have that life. You're showing people your artwork, you're starting your podcast, whatever it might be, if you want to have that life. Frankly, that life that I'm super blessed that I get to live, then you have to begin with self celebration, you have to begin with self empowerment, you have to begin changing those thoughts.
Now here's the thing. celebration is fun, right? Most of us love celebrating, like tell me you don't love celebrating someone's birthday, even if not your own tell me you don't love celebrating, whether it's someone's birthday, or it is your puppy passing first level training, or it's your child learning a new skill, dancing, whatever it might be. We frickin love celebrating. Like G-d Kool & the Gang: Celebrate good times, come on!
I swear to G-d, if I could go to any party, it would be a bar mitzvah or a wedding. Like I freakin love celebrating more than I would love going to any bar or anything like I love celebrating. And I hope you do too. I think we pretty much all do?
Even if you're an introvert! Like celebrating too, you might look like you and a friend, getting together in person on Zoom, and really like lighting the candle on a cupcake for that person, sharing with that person how much they mean to you. writing them a letter like celebration can look different, but I think we pretty much all love celebrating in some way.
What I don't think we love or are good at is self celebration, celebrating ourselves. In fact, most women I know in my EMPOWERED program, we do this exercise called The Circle of Love, where you are in the middle of the circle, and all of the other women celebrate you. Tell you what they see in you.
And the only thing you're allowed to say is "I receive." Is taking each compliment in with a deep breath, letting it land in your belly, letting it land in your toes, letting it land in every cell. And saying I receive.
And the reason for that is that we as women suck at taking compliments. We as women brush it off. We're terrible at celebrating ourselves. Well, if you do not accept and receive someone else's compliment, they're giving you a gift and you're actually rejecting their gift so it's not nice to them.
It also is then working against that cycle, that self fulfilling prophecy cycle I just told you about. Now, unfortunately, just like Simone Biles said, too many women, when we say we're awesome at something, we're told that we're bragging, we're told that we're arrogant. We're told we're cocky, maybe we're called a bitch. Right? Think about that woman who does amazing at work. And everyone was like, "Oh, what a bitch."
How awful is that? How awful is that? We know from the research that women don't talk about themselves as much as men do. Men seem to have an easier time sharing their accomplishments, sharing what they did well, even, of course, taking credit for things that they didn't do well, but saying how awesome they are! We see it all the time.
But what do women do in general? Wait until we're spoken to. We wait to be noticed. We want to be noticed! We want other people to tell us we're awesome. They'll recognize me. Well. This is one of the reasons why men make more than women. Men are speaking up. The opportunity here is for us to start self celebrating. Dare I say bragging? You know what they want to call us bragging? Fine, let's just meet them where they are. Let's just say yeah, I brag.
So we don't celebrate ourselves because we feel arrogant. Or we don't celebrate ourselves because we're afraid it's gonna make another woman or someone else feel bad about themselves. We don't celebrate ourselves because we think it's silly or because our self critical brain has taught us to hide and that self fulfilling prophecy. And would you believe as much as I in the PurposeGirls Facebook group ask you all to brag and to self celebrate... I realized that I have not been doing it?
I have not been bragging or self celebrating in the PurposeGirls Facebook group in my sisterhood that all the women do there is brag I've been hiding. I have not been self celebrating. I've been telling myself, Oh, it will look bad. I don't need other people's accolades. But the truth is that when I celebrate myself, I'm not just saying, I'm the best and you suck. What I'm actually saying is, I'm the best at being me, and I want to hear how you are the best at being you.
What I actually want is for every single one of us to celebrate ourselves is to brag every frickin day. I want you to inspire me, I want you to take me higher. My friend Allison just started a new business. And she's just been having so much fun on Instagram. And like, for me, it's never been fun. It's felt like a chore and a job. And she was rocking it out. And I was like, celebrating her like, look at you. You're like just having fun, and you're dancing on there. And I was like, that is so inspiring. I'm going to do that too. And then I did a little dance party video and Instagram, like, we can be inspired by another woman.
I was in a sensuality class on Sunday. And a woman shared how she went from literally being broke, literally, her life falling apart. And joining a women's group and realizing she can have the audacity to say, wait a minute, I can turn my business around. Wait a minute, I'm the person I've been waiting for. Wait a minute, I'm a millionaire. It's not just I want to be a millionaire as I am one. She wasn't one yet.
But claiming that she was one. And I'm telling you, she ended up becoming a millionaire us and selling her business for $14 million. And I sent her text you are so inspiring. Like, can we be friends. So when we self celebrate, we actually can take each other higher. Here's the other thing I realized just this weekend, one of the things I do and I think this is something that a lot of us women do is we are so quick to move to the next thing, right?
It's like, you want a house, you get a house. Okay, what's next? You want the promotion? You got the promotion? Okay, what's next? You want the partnership? You got it? And then people are like, when's the baby coming? Like, we just go to what's next. What else is there? I don't know if that's a self deprecating cycle that we're doing so that we never have to pause and actually self celebrate?
I don't know, it's because we keep thinking that the next thing will fill us? Certainly there is happiness research on something called the Hedonic Treadmill that we think the next thing will make me happy. The next thing will make me happy. But this is something that I see in a lot of women, it's like, okay, on to the next, okay, on to the next step might also be because we don't frickin have time, right? It's like if you're balancing your kids, and their homeschooling and your boss and the reports, and also trying to start your purpose podcast on the side, like, we don't have time.
So it might just be I got to get to the next thing. And I have a tendency of doing that. And so I've been in the sensuality class for the last six, eight weeks with Lauren Harkness, who interviewed months ago on the PurposeGirl Podcast, go check her out. She's amazing. The lesson was about vision. And what is our vision for our lives. And I was sitting there like trying to picture what else I want, what else I want. And it occurred to me everything that I said I wanted this year, I have, and more.
Everything that I wanted, I brag I celebrate that everything I wanted in 2020, I got I created, I womanifested and more.
And that it was not the time for me to set the next vision, it was the time for me to frickin revel, and brag and celebrate what I have created in my life! Yes, I have more vision, like I'm so envisioning that we moved to California. I'm so envisioning the next level of my work, where I'm going to be bringing 100 of us into a room standing on our chairs saying yes, yes, yes, to purpose rocking it out, like I already I'm seeing all of it. I see the next book, I'm so excited.
And wow, I will be able to create all of that the more I celebrate what I have. Because what celebration does for us, is it fills our bodies with juicy, yummy endorphins. With dopamine, with neurotransmitters that say "more please."
It creates a sense of gratitude that tells our brain do more of that approach that I will get into the science in a moment. But this weekend, Josh and I finally, thanks to my wonderful client and soul sister Diana, Josh and I finally watched The Greatest Showman and oh my Goddess, I was bawling throughout half of it.
Because he realizes in the end, he was chasing bigger, bigger, better, more and more money. And what he had was so spectacular. And I was hyperventilating, looking at my baby sleeping in the monitor, kissing Josh all over, saying I love you. I love you. I want to celebrate what we have.
And so sister I'm about to brag to you big time. I'm about to celebrate so big and not because I want to tell you I'm better than you because I want you to brag to me! Because I want you to celebrate you. I want to inspire you to celebrate yourself, and I want to inspire you if you are not living your own dreams, if you are not living a life where every dream you've ever had, you are womanifesting, you are creating, you are not living a life where you feel alive and big and bold and whatever that looks like for you.
Then I want to inspire you to go do so. I want to inspire you to hop on over to my website for us to have a call for you to join EMPOWERED, for me to get to work with you for you to have this life and so I'm just gonna brag and self celebrate here, in the hopes that it allows you to live the equivalent of whatever it is for you.
In 2021 no more live controlling you no more COVID getting you down. You're empowered sister. And so with that, I brag. I brag that I have manifested everything no womanifested everything I have wanted this year.
I brag that I created the most beautiful, beautiful sweet baby at 45 years old. I brag I did that after two miscarriages. After being with my infertility doctor for a year after so many hurdles after a near fatal pregnancy which you can so listen to about my birth story prior episodes, but I brag.
He is thriving and healthy. I brag pumping my milk exclusively for five months for him to get that good stuff. I brag I published a book this year that was like my biggest dream ever. I brag that a publisher came to me and asked me if I would write my book "Wonderful You." AH!
I brag that I knew like I celebrate my inner knowing like clairvoyance that I always knew it would be book and then baby and that's exactly what happened - book came out in April. Baby came in July.
I celebrate that I treated myself last year to a course with Julia-motherfuckin-amazing-Wells. It was an online social media seductress course. And in the course I had the idea for Goddess on Purpose; for my eight week online course. And I had this idea that I would have 50 women in it. And I tell you in 2020 I've had more than 50 women in it!
All those women that I got to inspire and holy cow, are they rocking it!? It's blowing me away! Seriously, one woman last week, realized that she wants to be a coach and she had tears in her eyes and was like crying and like, "how did you know that that was something I've thought about before, Carin?" It was like, I can just see it in her.
And that's what I get to do. I get to like, see these women. One of them is this incredible writer and I get to totally kick her butt and be like, "Hey, have you written more? Have you written?" More like I love, love, love it. I love seeing them come out and shine. One is sharing parenting advice and they're all doing videos. It's like they're rocking it out.
I celebrate, I brag that I was the keynote speaker at Amazon's International Women's Day this year. Ama-freakin-zon! Last week I was talking to someone who's considering hiring as a copywriter. And he works with a toooon of coaches like coaches who make eight figures like big, big, big, really big.
And the way he was talking to me kind of just like he would talk to any coach. And I said, Oh, well, I actually have my master's degree in positive psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. And he was like, wait, what? I was like, Yeah, like, I'm not just any coach, like I have my master's degree in academic in this amazing new science. He was like, Oh, I said, and I speak on stages, like not just any stage. I was the keynote speaker at Amazon's International Women's Day. He's like, Wait, what?
I'm like, yeah, no, I speak on big stages. And I said, and my podcast actually is doing really well. I've had like 250,000 downloads in just two years. He's like, Wait, what?
And he helped me realize I don't talk up myself the way that I could and should and want you too. I brag that I'm special. I'm different. Like I brag I'm the only coach you are gonna find you as this mix of academic proven science and tools for your brain mixed with Divine Feminine Goddess priestess like I've actually been initiated as a priestess, I went to priestess school!
And I've overcome so much trauma in my life in order to thrive, and that's what I teach you. I brag that I got several letters from people from Amazon saying I was the best speaker that they've ever seen. Literally on LinkedIn. One a woman who's very high up at Amazon said you're the best speaker I've ever seen Amazon hire. What? I brag that!
And why am I not bragging that you guys all the time so you can go to your bosses and say bring her in. She's amazing. Yes, that is actually what happened. Here's one I've shared this with you - a piece of it. Just last summer. We were almost $100,000 in debt between property that we owned and fertility treatments and taxes. We had major debt. I brag that we now have almost the same in the bank, like almost $100,000 in the freakin bank.
I brag that! So I brag that we have pulled ourselves out. I brag. I know how to do that. I brag that my business has actually been like 200% more profitable this year, according to my accountant. Ladies, I brag I'm a sexy Mama. Like, I brag. Okay, in my courses, I love showing up full on in garb depending on what we're talking about that day. And so I love and brag rockin my leather pants as a mama.
Yeah, I still have mama belly and I might for the rest of my life, and that's okay. I brag I'm a hot Mama. I feel so good. I literally once had someone say to me before having the baby that I won't care about being sexy anymore, after I have the baby. Like, I'll be too tired for sex. That is true.
Poor Josh. I'm often way too tired for sex. Poor me, too. But I feel sexy. And I love feeling sexy. That's for me. And listen, it bums me out. I swamp I bums me out that I still have anxiety. G-d, I've had it since I was three. And it bums me out that I still hide.
Like, despite all the success, I still hide. It bums me out that I'm afraid to be arrogant. If I brag, or I celebrate myself. Can I just tell you the difference in my energy and my body? When I was just bragging to you, my body was upright, erect. My eyes were open. I was like excited and juicy, right? Like I felt like so alive and excited. Like I could do anything. And then when I just shifted into hiding and anxiety, I could feel my body shift.
Could you all feel that? Wow, like right here on here. I didn't plan that. But that's the difference in self celebrating and self criticism. And so I celebrate that I'm doing this episode and I'm bragging to you, and I'm honoring how special I am. And I celebrate that I really got it when I was watching the movie the other night and I celebrate how real I am with you.
Right like you see all of me I am -I share with you my worts. I share with you what I'm really going through. And I I celebrate feeling beautiful, sexy, alive and showing you all imperfections of me. And I celebrate that I have so much more in me. I celebrate the books that are going to come about overcoming trauma, turning shit into fertilizer, purpose. Like there's so much I want to share.
I celebrate the talks that I know are coming. I celebrate all of you going to your bosses and saying you've got to bring her in. I celebrate the programs that are ready to pour out of me I celebrate the EMPOWERED group that I'm about to lead and the women who are coming - if that's you get on the phone, now. I celebrate it and I celebrate you.
And I celebrate that there is no one else like me. Really, and truly no one. You know, I came into 2020, and my word for the year was trust. It came to me in meditation at the end of 2019. And I said I don't want that word. I don't want that word. And I was talking to my coach - oh!
I celebrate that I invested in myself big time in 2020 - with that social media class, with a coach that I paid five figures to work with and help me, and I celebrate working with a sensuality coach, like I celebrate, even having a baby, even all the expenses that come with that. I still invested in me, I still took care of me, I'm still taking care of me.
And so coming into this year with that word, my coach said, Well, what does it mean to you? And I said, Oh, trusting that everything will work out that I can take maternity leave, and we'll still have money in the bank, trusting that the baby will be healthy, trusting that we'll be healthy. This is before COVID before all that, and she said oh well, it sounds like abundance. How about we've changed the word to abundance for the year? I tried on the word abundance and that wasn't it. I said no, the word is trust.
Because I've always had a hard time trusting myself. I've had a hard time trusting the universe. I was terrified that if I had to trust the universe, that something would happen to my sweet baby that was in utero at the time. It was like I know if I accept this word trust, then indeed, something's going to happen. And something did happen. Again, go listen to that episode. But I trusted and trusted and trusted and this has been the result.
This amazing me womanfesting, me creating everything that I wanted for the year in what is arguably the hardest year we've all experienced. During COVID I still grew my business like that. During COVID I still feel alive and sexy. Even with the pregnancy complication that almost killed my sweet baby boy. He's alive and thriving. Now I celebrate that. And so in 2021 My Word is knowing.
I realized that's actually what I teach women. How to know yourself so deeply, heart, soul, spirit, pussy, and follow that knowing. And this is what I want for every woman: I want you to have whatever it is that you desire. That's why I do women's programs like EMPOWERED. That's why I do what I do. Now the thing is that celebrating myself just now felt good. It makes me feel like oh my god, I'm awesome. I could go do anything like, let me go write copy. Let me go take five more episodes. Let me go call Oprah.
Like, it makes me feel amazing. So let me tell you what's actually happening in my body right now. Okay, there's a science to celebration. When you celebrate, you actually fill your body with feel good hormones. Literally, you are filling yourself with endorphins and endorphins feel good. Okay, endorphins feel good. It's a chemical that like goes through your body.
And it's, it's the chemical that goes through your body when you're like, on a runner's high. So if you're a runner, then you get it if running, like, if you hate it wouldn't make sense. But like endorphins are what go through your body when you're in a rush, right? Like, let's say, you've been dancing, you know, for half hour, even dancing with your friends, like that rush - that's endorphins.
It's that giddy feeling it's being on top of the world. It's and that feeling floods your body when you celebrate. You also mix that in a gorgeous cocktail with dopamine, which is motivation, right? This is why self celebration works as motivation. Dopamine is what we get. It's like a hit of a reward. Okay, when like, you want a cookie, you get a hit of dopamine, like, Oh, that's a reward.
And so when you're self celebrating, you're getting rewarded. And so it actually gets pumped through your body and helps you to achieve goals. It's amazing. We also know that with endorphins, you get higher levels of serotonin and serotonin is what regulates mood and helps you not have depression like this is so good. So celebrating, self celebrating is going to give you those endorphins. It's like a high. A natural high.
And if you celebrate with someone, oh my Goddess, is it brings you so much closer. Like I have a pot a group of there's four of us Goddesses, and we brag or celebrate to each other all the time. And they're like, You're so awesome. I know. You're so awesome. You're so awesome. This is what I freakin love the most about my new assistant Rachel, like, she celebrates me like no one's business. And so she's like, I love you. And I'm like, No, I love you more. She's like, no, I love you more. And then we just take each other higher, right? So we celebrate each other, and it actually brings us closer.
It also makes them feel good, right? If you celebrate someone else, they feel good. And then you feel good for making them feel good and becomes this upward spiral. The other thing is if you celebrate someone else, everyone loves being validated. We all just want to be seen and heard and so celebrating someone else, even if not publicly, you endear them to you.
Well, now I want you to apply that to yourself, and how validated you'll feel when you celebrate yourself. You will do better. We know this from the Kristin Neff research that I mentioned to you. We know this from sports psychology research that I mentioned to you.
Now, self celebration, I know might be super tough for you. Right? There's so much out there that says just love yourself. It's like that's not helpful. I don't know how and I hate myself. So there's different levels. This is a huge thing that I teach in the EMPOWERED program.
How do we go from the self loathing, my first level, self tolerance just being able to tolerate yourself, and then self okayness being okay with who you are, warts and all and then self acceptance.
Accepting, this is who I am. And then self liking. Liking you know what I have been through a lot, my worts show me that I've been through a lot my imperfections show me that I've weathered storms, that I had a difficult childhood or that I overcame the little girls being mean to me or abuse or whatever it might be. And then you can move into self love.
I love the woman who overcame all that. I love myself for being imperfect and still being fabulous in the world. I love myself for having warts and all. And then self celebration. But the thing is, you can't wait. You can't wait until you feel self celebratory to start celebrating yourself. It actually begins with the smallest self celebrations now like a lot of my clients when they get on I ask them give me a brag give me a self celebration.
We do this a lot in my different programs. Because the more you celebrate everything, right? It's like I remember when we first got our dog Charlie and he was a puppy and he would poop and it'd be like "Good job!! You pooped! You pooped!
That's what I want to see out of you. I want you to celebrate every little thing. As if you were a baby again, you were a puppy and you're celebrating every little thing. Celebrate that you made an amazing salad for lunch, celebrate that you had salad and not potato chips. Celebrate that you ate the potato chips, and you're gonna be nice to yourself anyway! Celebrate every little thing, and you will see your life dramatically change.
This is what we know from the research about mindset about self fulfilling prophecy. And about being the happiest, most empowered, radiant woman, you know. Being a Goddess who is unleashed no longer holding herself back in the world. That's what I want for you.
And so with that, my love, get on over to the PurposeGirls Facebook group right now and post a self celebration or brag. I'm going to be doing it all the time now. I want you to do it too. Even if your brag, you feel like it's too small. I can't tell you how many women on calls with me say, well, it's not really a big deal. Well, it's not that big. It's really kind of a small brag and I'm like, Ah, you're not allowed to say that.
Okay, but I'm guilty of saying it to myself. So no more of that BS. We're gonna celebrate everything. Everything. Yay I pooped! Okay, like, I want to hear every brag every celebration. The more you do it, the more you're going to inspire me and the more you're going to feel good and the more you are going to have self fulfilling prophecies to create everything in your life that you want. And I want to help you.
And if any of this is challenging, or even if it's not, this is why you have to join the EMPOWERED program. Okay. I sponsored my own podcast this week with the four month EMPOWERED program with my amazing fabulous off the charts, exclusive, intimate, empowered, sisterhood and mentorship you must join. Okay, let's have a phone call together find out if it's for you go over to my website purposegirl.com right now. And with that my love. Let's get our celebration on.
Celebrate good times, come on!
Celebrate with me over on Facebook in the PurposeGirls Facebook group, join it now or find me on Coach Carin Rockind there, or on Instagram @carinrockind. And and if you have not gotten your free Living on Purpose Guide, that is my guide. It's free. Go to purposegirl.com, sign up right on the homepage. And it is like chock full of dozens of questions that will help you get clear on your purpose and your happiest life. Make sure you are getting that and that gets you on my newsletter list and then you're going to be the first person to find out what I'm doing programs discounts all of that good stuff.
Share this podcast with every woman you know. That's how we change the world one woman at a time.
And with that, my love May you live purposefully. May you love yourself, and may you love life.
Bye for now.