So many women have fears around money, their ability to make and manage money, and their relationship to money in general, and these fears often serve as a block to truly living a life of purpose. On today’s podcast I am thrilled to welcome a very special guest, Tonia Gaudiuso, an expert in money management and the relationship that women in particular have with money.
Tonia begins by addressing a very challenging and current issue in wealth management and gender equity: The pay gap. Part of the issue is that women need to learn to ask for what they want and what they deserve. There’s a fear of rejection, but hearing “No” means that you went for it! Also, many women have feelings of shame around money, fear that they don’t know how to manage it appropriately.
In addition, studies have shown that men negotiate raises far more often than women; they tend to ask for what they want more often, and if you don’t ask for something you’re not likely to get it. In Tonia’s experience, a major reason why women don’t ask is a lack of clarity on what it is that they actually desire. What’s the dollar amount that they really want? And a closely related issue is, how much do they value their own time away from work, perhaps their time with family? Once they have clarity around these issues they can ask confidently for what they truly want.
When Tonia helps women determine what to ask for in negotiations, she often alleviates deep-seated fears that what they need in order to have the lifestyle they want is too much to ask for, but with all the advertising and messages in the media telling us about all sorts of expensive things we need in order to live a happy life, Tonia helps women realize what they actually need in order to live the life they want, and far more often than not, it’s less than they think.
Next we discuss the idea of the “money story.” Everyone has a story about money and their relationship to it that, for some, plays in the background and we’re not fully aware of it, and for others, we’re very conscious of it, but in either case, it has a strong influence on our actions. This money story is formed in part by the messages that bombard us, and in part from our upbringing. We need to get clear on our own money story before we can understand what will make us happy. Money is simply a tool that allows us to do certain things. What is it that we want the money for, and how will that make us happy? What is our relationship to money? What are the stories that we have about money, and how can we frame them in positive ways?
Tonia helps her clients think thorough all of these questions and many more when they come to her for help around their finances. She helps them with basic knowledge, but more than that, she helps with their mindset, beliefs, and emotions around money. And Tonia shares with us a very interesting way to reframe our way of thinking about money, explaining why money is love and gratitude!
A few books were mentioned in this episode. Here they are, with links to Amazon, in case you're interested in checking them out:
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May you live purposefully, may you love yourself, and may you love life.
Bye for now!