Happy holidays!
I love, love, love this time of year. Twinkling lights, cozy blankets, oozing kindness, and time for reflection. This time of year, I always spend time reflecting on the year that's passed and intentionally visioning the year ahead.
What about you?
What do you really, really, really want in 2016?
How do you want to show up in the world?
How do you want to feel one year from today?
What new adventures would light up your soul?
What is your heart yearning to do?
Who are you meant to become?
To have what you want, and be who you were born to be, you have to clear out the old from 2015. Think about your closet – you can't bring in new clothes into already overstuffed shelves. The same is true of your life. To feel how you want to feel, to do all you want to do, to have all you want to have, you must make space.
Plus, to feel fully alive, you have to intentionally capture the good. So often in life, we breeze past the good and then ruminate on the bad. Research is really clear about this. To feel the way you want, you must savor the good, celebrate your wins, capture all of your learning, and relish in new found wisdom. Savoring builds your pre-frontal cortex, tells your brain more of what you want, and helps you move toward your heart's desires.
On Monday night, my dear friend and colleague Stacey Hoffer and I hosted a women's circle in my home to do just that. Called “Awaken Your Inner Goddess,” ten women gathered in my home to celebrate our wins, collectively cry out our past pain, release all of the old crap that doesn't serve us, and claim our great truth for the year to come. We each left renewed and ready for a beautiful year ahead.
I want you to enjoy the same. Below is my annual New Year's ritual for you to feel whole and complete leaving 2015 and to set intention for the year to come. Set aside 2 or 3 hours in your schedule, cozy up with your favorite blanket and hot tea, and then write out the following:
1. What were your great celebrations of 2015? What has gone well? What have you accomplished? What yummy moments do you want to treasure, savor, and hold forever in your heart?
** For me, 2015 brought so many dreams to life. I held my first #ThisIs40 Fab, Fierce, Feminine group where 18 women learned deep self love, uncovered their purpose and created their dreams. It was my greatest honor and I am so excited for the 2016 program! I also fulfilled my dream of hosting retreats, including a big dream of taking women to PARIS! I taught in the Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology program and increased my work on SiriusXM's Wake Up with Taylor,
I studied the divine feminine, embraced my spiritual gifts, initiated as a Priestess, and performed my first self-marriage ceremony with a client. Plus, Josh and I took a dream trip to Italy and bought our incredible home. Perhaps my greatest “win,” though, was being pregnant. Feeling a baby in my belly, celebrating with Josh, and getting excited for the adventure to come still fills every cell with wonder that I want to always remember.
2. What surprises came your way? What did you learn about yourself?
** My greatest surprise of 2015 was my desire to be a mom. When I did my annual reflection last year, the answer to every question about 2015 was “motherhood.” I thought, “WHAT??!! No – I want BUSINESS goals! My dream is to empower 1 million women!” But, being a mother rang through every cell of my body. So while in Italy in April, I said to Josh on a whim, “let's see what happens!” Immediately we got pregnant. I was freaked out, excited, scared and surprised. And then when we had the miscarriage, the real surprise came… I really wanted the baby. I was devastated. I desperately wanted that child back. My entire body ached for her. And then I knew a deep truth that still surprises me… I do want to be a mom. I am meant to be a mom. For sure.
3. What was challenging, difficult and disappointing? What did you learn from each of these situations? What learning do you want to carry forward? What new wisdom do you have from these challenges that you want to bring into 2016?
**For all of the wonder and awe of 2015 professionally, I had a really hard year personally. In addition to the miscarriage, a family member has been in crisis all year. I can't talk about the specifics, but I will tell you this: I've learned a level of compassion I never knew. In the past, when someone was a jerk, I took a sanctimonious, self-righteous, better-than-thou position. But this situation forced me to look in the mirror and find common humanity. To love someone who makes it so difficult to love them means to see and feel their pain. It means to not just imagine what it would be like to go through their crisis, but to recognize it in you. I, too, am sometimes a jerk. I, too, have rough edges and sometimes make it difficult to love me. I, too, think horribly mean thoughts. Maybe I don't say them like this person, but I'm not better than him. We are the same. We are human. And in finding our common humanity, I healed myself, our relationship, and found the true meaning of love.
4. What are you ready to leave behind in 2015? What old stories, beliefs, behaviors, patterns, and/or relationships no longer serve you?
**(Okay, this is hard to admit…) I have been plagued for a long time by the deep rooted fear that people don't like me. It makes no sense and I have tons of proof that it's not true, and yet, fear of being disliked, ostracized, and left out haunt me. It's like middle school worries all over again. Sadly, the fear sometimes keeps me from sharing my heart. Sometimes, it stops me from reaching out to make a new friend or from writing my book. Worse, it causes me to sometimes put on an “act” – as if I have to be someone different to be loved. I've done a lot of work with this old fear this year, loving the little girl inside, and showing her how worthy she is. I'm now SO ready to leave it in 2015.
Now, having written these down, take these old beliefs and BURN them – literally. Josh and I will be burning this and more up on December 31!
6. Now, with the old behind you, focus on the year to come. What will this year be about for you? How do you want to feel, who do you want to become, what are your heart and soul desires, what would light you up from every cell? I'll talk about this more in the coming weeks – this is your great assignment and opportunity.
Enjoy this great exercise. Please let me know all you discover. And if you would like me to personally guide you through this process, email me. Hosting clients in 2 hour Renewal Sessions is one of my great honors and pleasures.
With so much love,
Happy happy holidays!
xoxo,
Carin
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