So how's your inner dialogue going during COVID?
Are you judging yourself for not getting homeschooling “right?”
Beating yourself up for not getting your house clean or dream project done?
Or are you like me, comparing yourself A LOT on social media??!!
I'm finding self-attack rampant right now among women!
Things are hard enough and then we're making them harder with a double punch of self-attack!
Listen – it's normal… Our brains actually evolved to compare and be critical in order to help us “be better,” “do better,” and “survive.”
But it's NOT helpful.
Or useful.
According to psychology researcher Dr. Kristin Neff at the University of Texas, we think self-attack will motivate us, but in actuality, studies show that it does the opposite. It makes us DO WORSE.
And don't even get me started on how awful self-criticism is for our health! It puts us into fight/flight, heightens our blood pressure, and lowers our immune system. Not so good for COVID-19.
Beating yourself up for having a cookie just makes you want to eat the whole box.
Criticizing your parenting skills makes you want to shut off and shut down.
So, self-criticism is “normal” but actually detrimental.
And it's SO much worse for women.
According to the Institute of Leadership and Management in the UK, women have 50% more self-doubt than men!!
Now how is that going to help us ask for the raise, get the promotion, help our kids, approach the love interest, write that song, or start that purpose business??
It won't.
Sister, something has to change, and I actually believe that all this self-attack is coming up right now during COVID so that us women finally vomit it out, burn it up, and make a massive shift to the self-compassion, self-love, and purpose that will heal and change this world!
Think about it – if you pick apart your wrinkles and then criticize the dark circles under your eyes, how vibrant are you for your next Zoom call? Do you really want to be seen on camera? NO!
But if you look in the mirror and praise your beautiful eyes, your soft skin, and your Goddess like hair, you'll show up on that call confident and poised!
The same is true for parenting, for getting that promotion at work, for starting your business and for everything!
It's our time to shift to self-compassion.
To kindness. To forgiveness. To love.
I said to girlfriends yesterday, “My old self-attack story is getting boring. I'm even sick of it myself!” That's what we need, to vomit it up and shift!
We need to give ourselves a freakin' break!
Men don't beat themselves up for giving kids more screen time!
So if your kids are fed right now, you're doing great!
If your work is getting even partially done, you're rockin' it!
This week's PurposeGirl Power Bite is all about self-compassion. It's a 2 minute quick video to help you give yourself the love you need now. Watch it here.
And after you watch it, I challenge you to take yourself and your purpose higher. In the EMPOWERED and Goddess on Purpose Programs, I encourage women to CELEBRATE themselves EVERY. FREAKING. DAY! In the PurposeGirl Dream Business Accelerator today, we agreed to “juice each other up” with celebration every morning!
Now, if you had a CHEERLEADER in your ear every day, telling you how awesome and capable you are and giving you permission to be human, wouldn't you feel amazing??
That's what we can do for ourselves with Self-Celebration! And that's what we can do for each other.
It's why I run Sisterhoods to empower you to live your purpose, like the Goddess on Purpose course and EMPOWERED program.
So vomit your self-criticism out. Get your self-compassion and self-celebration on.
And let's put our wonderful yummy loving perfectly “imperfect” purpose and passion into the world.
XO,
Carin
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