Shame. Self-Doubt. Self-Hate. Sacrifice. Being Stifled. Have you ever felt any of these?  

I know I have. When I was a little girl, I remember wanting to talk at the dinner table but feeling like my big brother and dad talked over me. When I was 11, my group of friends turned on me and spread a rumor around school that I was a lesbian. When I was 17, my first love (a woman) beat me up until I felt so full of shame for my sexuality, my heart, myself. 

I find that there are 7 Sacred Sins against women. The crap that keeps us stuck and keep us playing small. They pile on to make us doubt ourselves and our capabilities of moving forward toward dreams. 

But we are more than that. We are better than that. We don't have to fall prey or Victim to ANY of it. We're Victors, not Victims. WE are the Creators of our lives! 

It's called Radical Self-Responsibility (a term I got from Katherine Woodward Thomas) and on this week's episode of The PurposeGirl Podcast, I share my “7 Scared Sins Model” and teach you how to overcome each of them so that you can move forward as the bold, brave, fierce, fabulous, powerful and purposeful woman you were born to be! 

I taught this at the Goddess Girls retreat in Miami last weekend where these beautiful, brave women stood up and shed years of these Sins put upon them: Self Doubt, Self Hatred, Shame and having their voices Silenced. I witnessed them stand up to decades of patriarchal conditioning and take ownership of their bodies, their worth, and their WOMANHOOD! They took Radical Self-Responsibility and it was nothing short of AMAZING!!

I want to teach you to take Radical Self-Responsibility and charge of your life too! So, in this week's episode of The PurposeGirl Podcast, I share the 7 Sacred Sins with you, I dissect each Sacred Sin for you, and then share with you how you too can break the pattern and begin living your most powerful and purposeful life!  It's a “must listen to” episode which someone has already suggested I turn into a book! Click here to listen!

Plus, if you want to take a BIG step toward Radical Self-Responsibility, get past any old fear, shame, or doubt to CREATE the life you want, then join me and your Sisters in the “Be Bold. Be ALIVE!” Free 5 Day Challenge on the PurposeGirls Facebook Group! You can STILL JOIN!!! Already, women are breaking out of their comfort zones and sharing desires. You can do it too! 

JOIN US for the BE BOLD. BE ALIVE! CHALLENGE NOW!!

I'm so excited to see you be brave, bold, and fully alive! I'm so honored to support you in your process. I love you so much!

May you live purposefully, may you love yourself, and may you love life!

Xo,

Carin

Have you ever craved being with a group of brave, inspiring women who love you as-is (even if you feel like a crazy chaotic mess)… women who believe in you completely to fulfill every one of your desires, and lift you up to be your best self?

Have you ever felt like you could FLY with such Pleasure, Power, and Purpose?

That was Goddess Girls 2019 and I am still flying high. By the end of the retreat, one woman said, “Carin, you saved my life.” 

We began the retreat with a question that I want you to also answer: 

What do you desire? 

One woman shared her desire to be fearless toward her dream career. Another shared that she desires to be rid of guilt. Another said that she doesn't know her desires. 

I shared that as Goddesses, we have magical powers and can grant each other's desires. So I asked them to go deeper and turn to the woman next to them and say, “If I can grant you any desire, what would it be?” And then the fun began! One at a time, they paired up and went bigger, more expansive, and higher in their desires. Desires for dream jobs, dreamy sex, and deep fulfillment! 

The next day, I asked another question that I also want you to answer:

What is holding you back from what you desire?

One woman shared that she has been abused for decades. So I took her to the beach and together, we pounded our fists and shouted “NO! NO! NO!” until she fully stood in her strength. Another woman shared that she was told she was “too much” and so was silenced, and three of the women shared that they have sacrificed their needs being the primary caretaker for others. 

We felt our collective pain, and together we physically and mentally shoved the pain and declared that we would not be Victims! Every single woman ROSE in her Power, Pleasure, and Purpose! We declared that we are the Creators of our lives and ripped up the old pains before dancing in glorious joy as the Goddesses we ARE! 

Then after lunch, I asked this (which, of course, I want you to answer):

And who are you, really? 

Each woman embodied her playful Mermaid inner girl self, her sensual Goddess of Love self, her raw, primal Wild Woman self, her confident Queen self and then told each other all of the wonderful qualities they see in each other until each woman stood in the middle of the circle and declared her UNIQUE GODDESS-NESS! It was freaking Glorious! 

Plus, we had a champagne reception where we laughed, we started the day with sunrise yoga and meditation followed by a dip in the ocean that soothed our souls, we had pool time where we had girl talk for hours, had dinner out where we learned some belly-dancing in delight AND, the retreat was at the exquisite, luxurious Versace Mansion that makes you FEEL soooooo beautiful! It was extraordinary in every way! 

By the end of the weekend, the woman who wanted to be “fearless” said she's going to go after a dream job she'd been offered in Dubai! The woman who wanted to shed guilt said that after decades of therapy, this retreat was what shifted her and she called it, “Life-Changing!”

One woman said, “Carin, you need to lead this retreat all over the world! Women need you!” It filled my heart – AND, I know they're right. So you will see more retreats coming from me. Reply back and let me know: 

1. Where would you want to go on a Goddess Retreat? Miami? Greece? Paris? Other?
2. What do you desire from a retreat with me?
3. What do you need to say YES to your Goddess self? 

In the meantime, I hope you have a fabulous weekend and that you answer the questions about your desires, what holds you back, and who you are because when you know who you are, you can do ANYTHING!

May you live purposefully, love yourself, and love life!

XO,
Carin

Oh, and these gorgeous pictures were taken by the incredibly talented Elizabeth Olson! You can connect with Elizabeth at https://www.elizabetholsonphotography.com/!

And the gorgeous Goddess Bracelet was created by the amazing Fleur Designs… jewelry and accessories for self-expression. I've worked with Fleur for a number of Goddess retreats and her work is incredible! Check out her Etsy shop at: https://www.etsy.com/shop/fleurdesignsjewelry/

I'm off to my Goddess Girls retreat in Miami Beach, which will be SO much fun, but let's be honest… 
Life is all fun and games… until it's not.

Happiness sometimes tricks us. We think there is some “happily ever after” that we'll finally have one day and then we'll be free of challenge. 
We're taught that we'll be happy when we:
-Get the Man
-The House
-The Job
-The Money
-The Vacation 
THEN, you'll be happy. Free of all issues. 

But that's not what life is.
Life is a roller coaster of delicious highs and treacherous lows and as Powerful Women, we have the strength, courage and capacity to thrive WITH it all.

Nine years ago, my friend Ed drowned before my eyes. I tried to save him, I tried throwing him a rope, I tried getting help, but slowly, his head sank under the water and he was gone forever. The pain almost made me not go to graduate school for positive psychology. I thought, “If Ed can't live, how can I?” 
Then I remembered, because Ed didn't live, I must.
 
The past few weeks I've dealt with a lot of crap, and sometimes, it seemed like the storm wouldn't end. 

Finally, a MASSIVE tree fell onto our yard. During a torrential thunder and lighting storm, the trunk split and ripped into pieces all over our yard and the street. 

Talk about a metaphor for life.

I, too, fell to the ground. Crying, screaming, eating ice cream. 
And then I remembered that I am not a Victim. 
Rather, I'm a Creator. And that tree falling down showed me that I've been ignoring some challenges in life that I didn't want to deal with. I've been acting like a “little girl” – a “Princess” who needed to be rescued – instead of a Queen of my domain who deals with all of life. 

So the tree had to fall for me to Rise up as a Queen. And now, I'm grateful for all the crap! What a GIFT! The same is true for you. For all of us.

Happiness isn't yellow smiley faces. It isn't everything going perfectly well all the time like you see on Facebook.
Real Happiness is DEEP.
It's sucking the marrow out of life.
It's rising above.
It's learning and growing and elevating from challenge.
It's realizing that the trees fall FOR you.
It's using all the Pain for Purpose to make your mark in the world! 

We are not Victims.
We are Powerful Women. 
We are the Creators of our lives. 
Sometimes we're given a playground of light joyful mermaid colors and songs to Create.
And sometimes, we're given dark shadows and painful lessons to Create. It's both/And. 
But it's all Creating.
And at the end of the day, if you Create, you'll be Happy.
If you spend time doing what FILLS YOU, if you give YOUR gifts, YOUR talents, YOUR wisdom that comes from all the challenges you've had, you'll feel fulfilled at the end of your life. 
And then, we'll be “happy”.  

On the current episode of the PurposeGirl Podcast, I share the full story of that day with Ed and tools to recover from grief, pain, loss, anger, and challenge. I teach you how to move through the stages of grief and use “Post Traumatic Growth” to thrive from challenge. No matter your challenge, this episode will help you Rise. And ultimately as Purpose Women, that's why we're here. Click here for the episode.

And now, I'm off to Create from the LIGHT. From joy! From the ocean in Miami and the beauty of the Versace Mansion! 
Here's to CELEBRATING ALL of LIFE! 
Here's to LIVING FULLY ALIVE!
Here's to YOUR HAPPINESS!

XO,
Carin

I've been away for 2 weeks and am just back from England where I co-led a Goddess Retreat for women to remember their divine feminine power.

Say that to yourself slowly.

Divine.
Feminine.
Power.

What feelings do those words give you? For some, power can seem bitchy. For others, confident and strong. In this patriarchal world that constantly tells us that we aren’t skinny enough, pretty enough, young enough, or talented enough to make as much money as men, divine feminine power can sound like an oxymoron. 

And worse, it can feel impossible.

As one woman who is coming on my upcoming Goddess Girls Retreat in Miami in August just said to me, “But my ex took my power away by running off with someone else.” And another woman who is also coming to the upcoming Goddess retreat said, “I don't know how to feel beautiful when I feel fat.”

That's why us women need each other. That's why we absolutely must get away from “life,” and give ourselves space and tools to grow into the powerful women that we were born to be. 

Think of a 4 year old girl – she doesn't care that her belly sticks out or that her voice is out of tune. She dances and sings, screaming, “LOOK AT ME!!!” 
She knows she is glorious. 
And if her parents ignore her, she doesn't fold over in shame, self-doubt, and fear — she YELLS LOUDER. 

Power is within us all, and we can take it back. 
As adult women, divine feminine power is deciding you're beautiful now, cellulite and all because Goddesses are voluptuous and glorious! 
As adult women, divine feminine power is claiming your gifts – your magic – to improve the world because Goddesses are purposeful.  
As adult women, divine feminine power is going for your dreams unapologetically with joy because Goddesses laugh and learn from failure and bounce back. 
As adult women, as Goddesses, divine feminine power is flirting with the universe to receive your desires!

What would it be like if you claimed your divine feminine power? 

And what is holding you back?

As life would have it, someone who works at the retreat center we stayed at in the UK passed away while there. As sad and scary as it was, it was also a reminder:
A reminder that we never know when it’s our time.
A reminder to live fully while here on earth.

So that next day, we held a ceremony declaring what must “die” in order to claim our divine feminine power and be the Goddess we were born to be. One woman said that her self-hatred of her body must die, so she released it – and I'm thrilled to tell you that as I was typing this, she just emailed to say that she answered an ad to be a MODEL and they accepted her! Here she is! She's fabulous and now she knows she's beautiful, so why not?!

We were able to do this powerful work because we were together. 

Because we mirrored each other's greatness.
Because we saw the Goddess in one another.

That's why I hold Goddess retreats. They allow you to step out of the busy reactive craziness of day-to-day life so that you can get quiet and clear – and then bold and unapologetic in following your dreams.One woman who came to my Goddess Retreat in Greece came home claiming that her divine feminine power is to ensure reproductive rights for all and I'm proud to tell you that months later, after having NO connection to Planned Parenthood prior to the retreat, they just named her the Planned Parenthood director in Alabama!

Some journal inquiries for you… 

• What is YOUR divine feminine power?
• What must die within you for you to step into your divine feminine power?
• How can you live from this powerful place?

With so much love – may you live purposefully, may you love yourself, and may you love life!

You are a badass. A Warrior of love. A Queen, really. Look at how gloriously your eyes sparkle when you think of something you love! Look at how adorable your cheeks and nose are! Look how gorgeous your smile is! Woman, you radiate! Your soul is so pure and your spirit so divine that your beauty glows from the inside out. And you have so much potential. You are born for great things. GREAT things. You are here for purpose. No one else has your exact same strengths, talents, passions and life experiences, so no one can impact the world quite like you can. You have been through so much and all of it has given you strength, courage, and wisdom, and Woman, your wisdom is needed. YOU are needed. You are so worthy of love. Of self-love. Of divine love. Of love for who you are, in all of your perfect imperfections, and messy, sometimes chaotic life. Breathe my love, and know: YOU ARE PERFECT. AS IS.

What if every day someone told you that you were gorgeous, glorious and adorable – AS IS, “flaws” and all? 

While I was in college, my then-boyfriend, my parents, and I were visiting a gallery on campus when I saw the most glorious mirror I'd ever seen. On it was printed:

You are gorgeous! 
Oh how you shine! 
Your eyes are beautiful and your lips soft and sweet. 
You are just the epitome of perfection!

It went on and on, filling up the entire mirror with a love note to me. Of course, I had to have it! It was well before I knew I'd be a women's empowerment coach, but somehow I knew that reading those words every day would fill my heart and delight my soul. 

I wish I still had it because the truth is that sometimes, I need to hear positive affirmations. 

Like a few days ago, when I woke up to an email from a friend saying that she was mad at me. I had made a mistake that was going to cost her money, so I understood her anger. Of course I apologized, and said I would pay whatever the damage, but as a recovering perfectionist, my critical mind would not shut up about what an idiot I am!

Maybe you can relate? Do you get hard on yourself when you make a mistake?

Fortunately, I'm in the middle of the PurposeGirl 10 Day Self-Love Challenge, so I took it as an opportunity to apply my own lessons! It's easy to love yourself when you get a promotion or you fit into old sexy jeans… but when things go wrong? When you say something that hurts a friend? When you make a costly mistake? When you yell at your kids? When you gain weight? 

Then self-love is hard. 
In those moments, how do you treat yourself? 

Research by University of Texas professor, Kristen Neff, finds that criticism isn't effective in motivating us to “do better” – rather, she finds that self-compassion is. 

So I took this “mistake” as my opportunity to give myself love. Not to let myself “off the hook” – but to accept my humanness, embrace my “imperfections,” and use the experience as learning. 

I thought about how my grandma or mom would respond to me if I had made a mistake that cost them money. They would be frustrated, but they would also love me anyway. So I touched my cheek like my grandma used to, and I told myself that everyone makes mistakes. I assured myself that it would be okay and reminded myself that for every “mis-take,” you can have a “re-take.” I then felt into what I had learned and how I would do it differently in the future. I wrote down my lessons. Then I went for a run, and then did yoga to move the anxiety through my body. I told myself – I am perfect AS IS – flaws and all.

With self-love, I felt better and I did better. Because with self-love, I was kinder with Josh, and more productive in finding a solution. 

You are perfect AS IS. Right here. Right now. To remind you of it, I've created a mug that emulates my fabulous mirror. It has the words in italics at the beginning and end of this email! 

This is the perfect gift for yourself or a friend for International Day of Self-Love and Galentine's Day, both February 13. 

Plus, this week's episode of The PurposeGirl Podcast is ALL about how to loooooovvve yourself – and WHY you need to. (Spoiler alert – if you are at all self-loathing, others feel it and know it!) Click here to listen to this episode!

In addition, you can still join the PurposeGirl 10 Day Self-Love Challenge happening for free right now in my Facebook group (click here to join), and/or the free Self-Love Celebration class happening on February 13 (click here to register for the free class).

Whatever you do, remember this: 
You are a badass. A Warrior of love. A Queen, really. Look at how gloriously your eyes sparkle when you think of something you love! Look at how adorable your cheeks and nose are! Look how gorgeous your smile is! Woman, you radiate! Your soul is so pure and your spirit so divine that your beauty glows from the inside out. And you have so much potential. You are born for great things. GREAT things. You are here for purpose. No one else has your exact same strengths, talents, passions and life experiences, so no one can impact the world quite like you can. You have been through so much and all of it has given you strength, courage, and wisdom, and Woman, your wisdom is needed. YOU are needed. You are so worthy of love. Of self-love. Of divine love. Of love for who you are, in all of your perfect imperfections, and messy, sometimes chaotic life. Breathe my love, and know: YOU ARE PERFECT. AS IS.

XOXOX Carin