Hi  Love,

Have you ever wished that all of the struggle and all of the pain and all of the worry would just go away, so that you can finally be happy? Me too.

And yet, life doesn’t work that way. Every single one of us has challenges. Every single one of us feels pain. Life is one big roller coaster filled with incredible highs, and horrendous lows. None of us can escape this.

When you learn to accept the roller coaster of life, you can learn to work with it towards happiness.

Welcome to Happiness Key #4: Ride the Ups and Downs

If you’ve been following my blog this summer, then you know that I’ve been writing a series: 5 Keys to Happiness {AKA What I Learned on My Summer Vacation}. Vacation makes you feel so free, so alive, so serene that I want us to learn how to feel that way every day. In case you missed it, Key #1 was LIVE FREEDOM (read it here), Key #2: SAVOR (read it here), and Key #3: CHERISH the people you love (read it here).

On our summer vacation, we took my stepson to Cedar Point, the self-proclaimed (and I agree) “Roller Coaster Capital of the World.” I practically grew up at Cedar Point and I loved showing them how I used to ride.

But, oh my, have the rides changed. They are faster, taller, and have more spins, they leave you hanging in thin air and turn you so topsy-turvy upside down that you think you may throw up. And so it is with life.

You meet a new love interest, and your heart soars! A loved one dies, and you fall to your knees. Living well is using every challenge as fuel for purpose. Life is about being strong, not despite your downs but because of them.

Last week, I shared that Josh and I have been seeing a fertility doctor – an experience that turns you so upside-down, you can't help but question your life. No one thinks they’ll need fertility treatments; our bodies are supposed to be able to do this perfectly on their own. But I’m 41 and chose to delay having children, so this is an upside-down turn that I have to accept.

The question is what I do with this roller coaster of emotions. Do you stay in the valley of darkness, anger, and bitterness or rise up in strength? I wanted to stay down for a couple of days. I was mad at my doctor for hammering me about my age. I have been angry at the universe for our miscarriage. But that doesn’t help us move toward our goal.

You have to accept the roller coaster, and then work with it.

So I got quiet. I dropped in and listened deep inside of my belly. What I heard is to reach out to others and gather stories of HOPE. What transpired was a beautiful Facebook thread of heartfelt, vulnerable posts, and generous offers of support. From a down, we created an up of positivity and community. (Read the thread here).

My inner wisdom then said to take good care of myself. So I contacted an accupuncturist and began daily fertility meditation. I have no idea if we’ll get pregnant this month, but I feel at peace, and that is what matters. My mind and body and soul are aligned, I am clear on my purpose.

This is how to ride the roller coaster. Accept it. And then lean into yourself with love.

For years, I just wanted to get rid of the downs. Ignore it, pretend life is fine. But it isn't. The pain remains in your body and will eventually come out as rage, depression, or illness. I’ve experienced all three.

Listen, if you sweep shit under the rug long enough, eventually it’s going to start to stink.

See, happiness does not come from eliminating the downs, but riding and embracing them. It’s how you work through the challenges, and rise up from them that matters! Happiness comes from living fully and sucking the juice out of every morsel of life – the good and the bad.

At Cedar Point, my stepson insisted that we sit front row on every ride. What a brilliant young man. Though it frightened me to death, he forced me to face my fears. He challenged me to embrace the challenge head on, and to enjoy the ride. (This is us – in the front row!)

Live from the front row. Ride the roller coaster. Every pain, every tragedy, and every sorrow holds wisdom and strength.

So ride the roller coaster. Be resilient through challenges. Allow the downs and accept them as part of human life. Embrace yourself through them with love. And then work with the downs to uncover the wisdom, strength, courage, and love to exist.

With so much love,
Carin

PS – I am SO thrilled to announce the following programs for you to uncover your purpose and live the fierce, free life you desire:

SoulSpark: If you want to ignite your soul and create your path forward, join me for Soul Spark in Sonoma, a Goddess Girls Retreat! Imagine 4 days and 3 nights of luxury in wine country with a pool, jacuzzi and Goddess awakening exercises. Plus, SoulSpark comes with 2 group coaching sessions, 6 recorded meditations, and a workbook to ignite your soul for the year to come. Open to only 8 women – Join us for this exclusive opportunity!

Positive Psychology (CAPP): If you're a change agent who wants to expand your ability to make a difference in the world, join me for the Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology (CAPP) in Miami this Fall! We'll spend 7 weekends together throughout 6 months so you can escape the cold, and learn the science of happiness and human flourishing. This is perfect for educators, HR professionals, therapists, coaches, parents, and anyone wanting to improve the world. Click here for information and to join!

PPS – I am thrilled to share my second article in Live Happy's Online Magazine: 4 Powerful Tools to Overcome Shame. I felt so ashamed after my divorce at 26. In this article, I share how I overcame it, and how you can too. Enjoy!

FINALLY – Share the love! If you enjoy getting Positivity tips, so will your FRIENDS! Share it! Invite a friend to get these tips by sending them this link. Thanks for sharing the love!

Hi Dear,

I know it's been a million years since I last sent you a positivity boost. I'm sorry. It's just that I didn't feel so positive myself. Josh and I have been trying to have a baby and it's been more challenging than we thought. Yes, I'm 41, AND we got pregnant on our very first try last year – before it ended in miscarriage (read about that here). As a result, I've felt powerless and wanted to hide.

So, I haven't had the juju to write to you. I haven't had the power to send you uplifting messages. Maybe you get this way too. When you feel down, you want to hide. You don't want to engage with others, much less be their cheerleader.

But sometimes – actually, MOST of the time – lifting others up is EXACTLY how to get your power back. Being real, sharing your truth, connecting with others in a genuine, authentic, raw and vulnerable way allows you to be seen, heard, and loved for who you are.

This is what happened to me this weekend. Taylor Strecker of SiriusXM Stars Radio and I hosted 25 women in South Beach for Goddess Girls Retreat. Yes, we had a champagne reception, pool time, and fabulous meals at the Versace Mansion… but the TRUE MAGIC was weaving a web of deep sisterhood through sharing our stories. When one woman spoke of divorce, everyone understood the pain of love lost. When one woman shared the challenges of parenting, everyone felt the struggle of being human. When another shared her dreams, we all reconnected with our own.

Each woman came with a different story, and all came with unifying common purpose: To be the powerful woman – the Goddess – each was born to be. By shedding layers of guilt, shame, anger, and fear, TOGETHER, everyone reclaimed her POWER.

One woman left ready to start a new business, another has already changed her parenting style, and another let go of anger toward an ex, realizing that she is WORTHY of true love. And these are just a few examples. Every woman reclaimed her power to soar.

I want you to reclaim your power too. Here's how:

1. Consider this: Where are you giving your power away to situations out of your control? Who have you given it to that is no longer worthy of your mind and heart-space? How are you allowing time to be taken away from your dreams, purpose and goals?

All of these are power cracks that make you lose your sense of self over time, so you end up lost, scared, alone, and stuck. And that's exactly when you want to disappear. Don't. Instead, identify the crack and vow to fill it with self-love.

2. Identify what you want. What do you want in life? What do you want today? How do you want to feel? What do you want to experience? How do you want to show up in life? According to the dictionary, “Goddess” means a woman who is greatly loved and adored. Love and adore yourself by allowing your heart's desires.

3. Lean in to love. Do what these women did and find a safe friend, coach, sisterhood, or group with whom you allow yourself to be vulnerable. Let yourself be seen for your courage and strength. While you might think that your story shows weakness for loving a jerk of a man, others will see your strength in surviving on your own. Sharing feels scary… and that's where the powerful shift happens. Others will identify your strengths. They will see the Goddess (or Priest) in you, and you will feel adored and empowered. (Side note – if you want an experience like this, my next Goddess Girls retreat is Soul Spark in Sonoma in November – only 4 spots left!)

You can reclaim your power. In fact, you must do so to live the happy, fulfilled life you desire and deserve.

xoxo,
Carin

PS – Special thanks to everyone who helped with this retreat!
Thank you Hotel Victor South Beach for being so welcoming and accommodating! The Victor is a fabulous hotel in a location that can't be beat, right on Ocean Drive! Here we are relaxing at The Victor's beautiful pool on Sunday! Inside The Victor is The Sugar Factory, a fun, fabulous restaurant, bar, and candy shop that is amazing. They were wonderful to work with!

Thank you also to Stoli! They co-sponsored the reception by providing Stoli Raspberry Lemonade cocktails – so yummy!!!

If you're looking for a great dinner in South Beach, GO to Cibo Wine Bar. I love, love, love this restaurant. The food is delicious, the service impeccable and the wine so yummy. Here's a shot of us in the wine room!

And of course, all day Saturday we held our retreat at the Versace Mansion (a.k.a.,The Villa Casa Casuarina), a breathtakingly beautiful spot perfectly suited to these Goddesses! If you have not been, this is a must-go-to-stop in Miami!

Thanks also PretzelCrisps, who provided personalized gift bags and snacks for all the women; Michelle Rhodes, who lovingly crafted these goddess-themed necklaces specifically for this retreat and provided them to all the women; and, Victoria Scaglione, who provided all the women with Goddess Girl champagne flutes and sunglasses (you can see the pink sunglasses in a photo above).

We have been truly blessed to be supported by so many outstanding folks, and we sincerely appreciate it!

Welcome to the third in this series: 5 Keys to Happiness {AKA What I Learned on My Summer Vacation}. My goal for this series is for us all to be “vacation-happy” in everyday life. (Read why I started the series here.) Key #1 was Live FREEDOM (read it here) and Key #2: SAVOR (read it here), which leads me to Key #3: CHERISH the people you love.

Confession: Sometimes, I take the people in my life for granted. I don’t mean to, but the days pass by, I forget to call back, or even with the people in my home, I forget to just BE with them.

Please tell me I’m not alone here. That sometimes you too let the stuff of life interfere with living and loving fully? There’s just so much to do and our conversations become tasks: Who’s picking up the dry cleaning? Did we cancel the mail? Why isn’t your room clean? And since Josh and I work together, sometimes we’re all business all the time. This weekend, we were out for a romantic lunch when I remembered a client email that needed to be sent out. (I’m cringing just writing that.) And perhaps worse, at least once last week I caught myself checking email while he was talking to me. (Ugh.)

It’s not who I want to be. I see myself as a present, loving woman. On vacation, I am. When I’m with Josh, I’m WITH him. I ask him about his dreams. I listen to his breath. I take time to really hear him. Every curve of his body and being enchants me. On vacation, there’s nowhere I’d rather be than next to him, laughing. On vacation, I cherish him.

It feels good to be loving, caring, and present, doesn’t it? We need deep, loving, connected relationships to be truly happy in life. Research is really clear about this. Hundreds of studies prove that relationships are a key to happiness. For example, a 75-year long study of two groups of men (Harvard grads and teenage boys from inner city Boston) showed that men from both groups who were close to family, friends and the community reported being happier, healthier and lived longer than their lonely counterparts. Put simply, as the late co-founder of positive psychology, Dr. Chris Peterson said, Other People Matter.

It makes sense. You don’t need a study to prove this to you, and yet most of us forget to really CHERISH our loved ones on a day-to-day basis.

According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, cherish means:

• :  to hold dear :  feel or show affection for <cherished her friends> b :  to keep or cultivate with care and affection :  nurture <cherishes his marriage>
• :  to entertain or harbor in the mind deeply and resolutely <still cherishes that memory>

This vacation drove this point home for me. After our trip to Mackinac, we joined my extended family at my nephew’s Bar Mitzvah. As I watched my nephew read from the Torah, I remembered the Passover dinner when he was potty training and running around without a diaper. At the party, I got down with my siblings. I marveled at my cousins’ children who had grown into beautiful young adults since the last time I had seen them. All weekend long, I held on to my mother and father and sister.

What if we could cherish our loved ones every day? What would that look like?

Take a moment and check in with yourself, lovingly and without judgement. Ask:
Have I been fully present for my family this week?
Have I listened to the people I love and shown them that I hear them?
Have I freely, unconditionally, given affection to the people I love?

If you’re like me (and most people), you get busy in your life. By the time you remember to call a friend, it’s bedtime. You’re exhausted after a long day so you snap at your kid when he shows you his artwork from camp. Your constant nagging mind-chatter won’t shut off so you miss a soft “I love you.” You’re tired and don’t feel like having sex with your partner so you opt out of connection altogether.

And let’s face it, deep down, we’re afraid to connect. We’re afraid that if they really see us in our messy panic and fear and uncertainty, they won’t love us anymore. We're afraid that if we show our weakness, we won’t love ourselves anymore. And so we create a self-fulfilling prophecy to cut off the very thing that we yearn for most: deep, loving connection.

Me too. The fact is that most of us are running on a treadmill of life, afraid we won’t catch up. When if we just realized that by stepping off the treadmill to be with people we love, we’d win this game called life.

Humans are social animals. We’re wired for connection. Because of evolution, we yearn to belong. We need to be loved.

So here is our opportunity. Let’s all make a commitment to be more conscious this week, to cherish, to connect. Here are a few ways:

• Pencil in a call to a lifelong friend this week
• Set a date with your partner and make arrangements
• Plan a date with your child – just the two of you, no phone
• Tonight, turn off the phone when you get home and don’t turn it on again until tomorrow morning

Believe it or not, I’m off on vacation again right now, this time I'm headed to the beach with Josh and his family. I commit to beginning each day with loving kindness meditation, bringing each of them into my heart and setting a daily intention for connection. I commit to set a date for us to take a long walk just the two of us. I commit to play a game with my stepson.

How will you cherish the people you love this week?

With so much love,
Carin

PS – Goddess Girls Weekend South Beach is SOLD OUT! If you have  been yearning to let loose, dive deep into your truth, awaken your inner soul spark, and ignite your dreams while in deep connection with other fabulous heart-centered brilliant women, check out Soul Spark in Sonoma! Imagine 4 days and 3 nights of luxury in wine country with a pool, jacuzzi and Goddess awakening exercises… I haven't even publicized it yet, and it is half sold. Make sure to check this out and join us!!!

PPS – Want to learn the Science of Happiness?  I will be teaching a 6-month Positive Psychology Certification in Miami this Fall and Winter. 7 weekends over 6 months with a group of like-hearted, brilliant people who all want to make a difference in the world. You don't have to live in Florida – you can fly in every month like I am. This program is AMAZING. More info coming soon, but in the meantime, click here!

PPPS – Want more positivity? I love hearing from you! Share how you're incorporating the tools on my blog or Facebook page so that we can learn from each other.

PPPPS – Share the love! If you like this series, share it! Invite a friend to get these tips by sending them this link. Thanks for sharing the love!

5 Keys To Happiness: AKA What I Learned on My Summer Vacation. As you know, a couple of weeks ago, I was on vacation feeling free and happy – and a bit dreading coming home. So I got thinking about how to be “vacation happy” in life. Last week, I launched the series (click here to read it) and shared Happiness Key #1: Live Freedom! (click here to read it.)

Which brings me to Happiness Key #2: SAVOR.

From the moment Josh and I stepped onto Mackinac Island for vacation, our senses went crazy with yumminess. The air smells of fresh, misty water, mixed with rich chocolate fudge and buttery popcorn. The shops are adorned in pink and yellow and blue awnings, and elegant horses lead vacationers through the streets on nostalgic red carriages. We rented bikes and marveled at every sight along our 8-mile ride – the bright purple flowers that grew amidst rocks, the carefully erected cairns that withstood the wind, the moon that peeked out over the Great Lakes. We stopped to hike a passage. We paused to build our own cairns. We sat just because.

We appreciated everything. We were present. We savored each moment.

Have you ever noticed that? When you’re on vacation, time slows down, your eyes are clear, and you notice e-ver-y-thing. On vacation, you pause. You appreciate. You SAVOR. This is what it is to live in the moment. Or perhaps I should just say: This is what it is to LIVE.

LIVING is feeling the wind in your hair and laughing as it gets all tangled up in your mouth.

LIVING is tasting the sweet juice of a ripe summer peach as it drizzles down your chin.

LIVING is lingering in bed with your lover for a few extra stolen moments of soft kisses regardless of the time.

In every day life, we’re so busy running from appointment, to carpool, to a meeting, to the store, to the recital, and up again the next day to do it all over again, that we usually miss the unplanned joy within the experiences. A couple of years ago, I was speaking about this at a professional women's conference, when an attendee raised her hand. “I was bathing my child last night,” she said, “and was looking at my blackberry the whole time.”

My heart went out to her. I’ve done it too. I’m guessing you have as well.

We’re running so fast and furious that we’re missing out on our lives. No wonder we’re all drained and exhausted. We repeat this pattern day after day, month after month, until you look back 5 years later, depleted, lost, feeling like this life is not your own, and afraid that you’ll never find happiness again.

This happened to me when I started my business. Yes, I love my work, but in the beginning years, I forgot to savor it. I had just graduated $20,000 in debt, and I was moving into my $2000 a month, 200 square foot apartment in New York City. I was hungry for success and excited. On my second date with Josh, I told him my plan. I was going to teach college, be on the radio, write a book, speak at global companies, have a full roster of coaching clients, and take women on retreats. He said, “Is that your 5 year plan?” It was my one-year plan. And then I worked tirelessly to make it happen, until I ended up with pneumonia, a 102 fever, laying in bed scratching at the computer keys while desperately trying to complete my book proposal for a contest I was entering. I wish I could say that I learned my lesson, but I won that contest (you can check it out here if you'd like) and it affirmed my pace. So I worked harder. I got my gig on SiriusXM WakeUp with Taylor, I was writing for a Dr. Oz e-Magazine (link), I picked up an agent, held my first webinars, got married, became a stepmom, moved to Philly and launched 3 new group programs – all in one year. I was exhausted, my eyes sagged, but desperate and clawing to keep up. (Yikes – a pic of me at my worst.)

And then I had my miscarriage. The air became thick. Sound ceased. My heart raced. A haze surrounded me where I couldn’t see or hear or feel anything. At first, I tried the only response I knew – keep doing, keep going, but I literally fell to my knees in a panic attack in our living room.

My body forced me to finally learn this lesson that I am writing to you today:
Slow down.
Pause.
Take a deep breath.
Savor.

Savoring is intentionally elongating your positive experiences and emotions in order to increase their intensity, duration and impact. Imagine taking a piece of taffy and stretching it out wide and yummy. That’s what you’re doing with savoring – you’re taking a positive emotion like wonder, excitement, joy, or serenity and making it last. This is so important for your well-being – mind, body and spirit. In research studies, positive emotions have been shown to heighten your awareness, broaden your thinking, improve relationships, and mitigate that nasty downward spiral of negativity that all of our brains do.

When you stop to enjoy and savor, you feel ALIVE.

You may think you’re not going to be good at savoring, but you will be. Most of us ruminate (or elongate) the bad – you vent about your mother-in-law, you write a nasty letter to an ex, you share your worries about your daughter’s future with your husband. That’s the same idea as savoring – it’s elongating an experience or emotion. Savoring is doing the same in the positive. Tell a friend in great detail about the yummy tea you had, anticipate the fun you’ll have at the park this weekend, look through old photos of your family laughing. All of these are ways to savor – or expand – the positive feeling.

To savor, though, you must first slow down, pause, and appreciate what is. You can do this right now. Pause. Take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Slowly notice the beauty around you. What colors do you see? What sounds do you hear? What scents do you notice? What sensations are you experiencing?

This has been a huge shift for me this year. Every year, I take on a “word” for the year. Last year, it was “Expansive,” and it was. This year, my word is “Be,” and I am.

I began studying the divine feminine to learn how to be powerful from my inner core, rather than form outer actions. I committed to nearly daily meditation and stretching, weekly therapy, and monthly massage. I now lead my clients in guided meditations and have learned how to surrender. I spend the first half hour of my day just being – sipping coffee, watching birds fly, journaling. In this open mindset, I see more, I love more, and I stop to appreciate everything.

Here’s how you can savor, too:

1. Slow down: This may seem impossible, but it isn’t. We all find time to do the things we want, like Facebook, a TV show, or complaining about your boss, so you can find 5 minutes to practice slowing down. Either set an alarm on your phone to go off at a certain time that reminds you to pause and notice, or do it when you first wake up. The more you do it, the more it will become natural for you. As a special gift, I’ve recorded this meditation for you. It’s just 9 minutes long and will help you slow down and enjoy the neural, physical and mental benefits of mindfulness.
2. Notice: Take note of what goodness you see, hear, taste, smell, or feel. Actually stop to smell the roses, spend an extra moment noticing a blossoming hydrangea, keep your ice cream on your tongue for an extra moment. Be sure to take in the details.
3. Elongate: Expand your experience by sharing it. Tell a friend about it, write it down in a journal, ask the person you’re with to describe their good feelings. You can savor the past (like looking at old photos and retelling funny stories), you can savor the present (talking about what you’re seeing), or you can savor the future (getting excited about the family BBQ.)

You can enjoy your life more. You can be engaged and present. You can feel fully ALIVE. So love, how will you SAVOR LIFE today?

With so much love,
Carin

Again, here is the Free Guided Meditation I've recorded for you. May it bring you peace. {Click here to download the Meditation).

PS – Share the love! If you like this series, share it! Invite a friend to get these tips by sending them this link. Thanks for sharing the love!

PPS – Goddess Girls Weekend in South Beach is one month away! Join me and Taylor Strecker in the VERSACE MANSION for a soul spark, heart-fulfilling, fabulous weekend, August 5 – 7. (Click here for info and to join us!)

PPPS – Want to learn the Science of Happiness?  I will be teaching a 6-month Positive Psychology Certification in Miami this Fall and Winter. 7 weekends over 6 months with a group of like-hearted, brilliant people who all want to make a difference in the world. You don't have to live in Florida – you can fly in every month like I am. This program is AMAZING. More info coming soon, but in the meantime, click here!

PPPPS – Want more positivity? I love hearing from you! Share how you're incorporating the tools on my blog or Facebook page so that we can learn from each other.

In last week's newsletter, I told you that I'd be sharing a series with you, 5 Keys To Happiness: AKA What I Learned on My Summer Vacation (click here to read it).  I'm excited to begin today with Key #1: Live Freedom!

From the moment Josh and I left for vacation, we felt free. Top down, wind in our hair, we had a week of long unplanned days ahead. We belted out tunes without worry of looking silly. When we saw a Dairy Queen, we stopped without thinking of the calories.

That’s the thing about vacation – you allow yourself to be free. You want to nap, you nap. You bump into a musician on the street, you stop. You’re open to possibility. You follow your heart. This is what it is to be free.

According to Dictionary.com, freedom is:

• The state of being free or at liberty rather than confinement or under physical restraint
• Exemption from external control, interference, regulation, etc.
• The power to determine action without restraint.

Read that carefully. Freedom isn’t defined by what it IS (open-hearted living, joyful expansion, full expression, choice in all matters), but by the absence of external control and restraint. Put simply, freedom is realizing that nothing else controls you.

Not your kids. Not your mortgage. Not even a custody order. You can always be free.

I recently re-learned this the hard way. During my first marriage, I desperately wanted to move to a big city. But, we stayed where we grew up because my husband was a lawyer with a promising career there. So when we divorced, I promised myself that I would never again let a relationship restrain me. So when I met Josh 5 years ago, and he told me that he was tied to Philadelphia because his son is here, immediately, my body wanted to bolt. But Josh remained in my heart, and so I asked, “How can I remain free and still be married to him?” The answer became clear: Philly is a home base, AND I am a free bird. I need travel to feel alive, so I go. That’s why I’ve taught in San Francisco for a year and am teaching monthly in Florida this fall/winter. That’s why I host retreats in cities I adore like Miami (one coming up in August!), Paris (read about it here) and Sonoma (coming in November!). I am FREE.

You are free too. You get to own your power. You can live your joy.

You might not want to face it, but you, and you alone, are the source of your own constraint. I know – you have a mortgage to pay and mouths to feed. Me too. And you get to choose how you feed them. You get to choose where you work and what you do to pay those bills. I’m not suggesting that you quit your job tomorrow; I’m suggesting that you acknowledge that you freely work there and choose to make it great. If you can't, I’m asking you to awaken your desires and live to your full potential. I’m telling you to live from your heart and create your own joy.

Ask yourself:

• What is really holding me back from living freely?
• What external force am I choosing to control my life?
• Whose regulations am I living by?
• Why am I allowing myself to be a victim in my own life?

I sometimes play victim too. When I first moved to Philly, I put up a wall and declared that I would resent it for the 4 years I’m required to live here. I became angry, dark, and hardened – the opposite of free. I acted like a victim in my own home instead of owning that I FREELY CHOSE to marry Josh and therefore chose to live here. I said that Philly was causing my misery, but it wasn’t. I was. By choosing to see Philly as a cage, it became one. After my miscarriage (which you can read about here), I had to look at every aspect of my life. I chose to take my power back. I connected with a friend who also just moved here, she and I began hosting women’s circles together, and we are exploring the area in joyful mini-retreats (read about them here)! Now, I love it. Well – it’s not that I love Philly; I just love my life and I don’t think about if I’m in Philly or NY or elsewhere. I am where I am. I am free.

To have the happy life you desire, you must admit that you are allowing yourself to be restrained and then declare that you will let yourself be free.

Now ask yourself:

• What if I were free from what other people think is “normal”? Free from what I’m “supposed” to do?
• What if I were free from caring what other people think?
• What if I were free from living life by my parents’ rules?
• What if I were free from trying to be perfect?
• What if I were free from the shame and guilt that somehow I’m wrong for wanting to take care of myself and follow my passion?

As an example, I want to have kids and everyone tells me that I’ll have to give up the travel. No I won’t. When the time comes, I may choose to, but I don’t “have” to. Actors travel. I kind of dig Angelina Jolie’s life. I get to choose.

You get to choose too. You get to choose if you finally learn piano as you’ve yearned to do, or if you will continue to tell yourself you’re too old. You are free to have impromptu dance parties in the kitchen, even if your teenager rolls his eyes (this happens nearly every night in our home). You are free to run through the sprinklers (I did on vacation and my step-son was MORTIFIED). You are free to twirl naked in your living room feeling your skin tingle in the fresh air (Yep, every day that my step-son isn’t with us).

I’m not suggesting that living freely is easy. I am stating that it is possible. And it starts with the realization, the deep knowing, that much of what we consider constraints on our own freedom are actually self-imposed. It begins with admitting that you the have the power to loosen and remove those constraints and Live Freedom!

So love, tonight, look in the mirror and honestly ask: “If I were totally and completely free, what would I do?” Then go do it!

With so much love,
Carin

PS – Share the love! If you like this series, share it! Invite a friend to get these tips by sending them this link. Thanks for sharing the love!

PPS – Goddess Girls Weekend in South Beach is one month away! Join me and Taylor Strecker in the VERSACE MANSION for a soul spark, heart-fulfilling, fabulous weekend.  August 5 – 7. (Click here for info and to join us!)

PPPS – Want to learn the Science of Happiness?  I will also be teaching a 6-month Positive Psychology Certification in Miami this Fall and Winter. 7 weekends over 6 months with a group of like-hearted, brilliant people who all want to make a difference in the world. You don't have to live in Florida – you can fly in every month like I am. This program is AMAZING. More info coming soon, but in the meantime, click here!

PPPS – Want more positivity? I love hearing from you! Share how you're incorporating the tools on my blog or Facebook page so that we can learn from each other.