Do you have something you've wanted to do your whole life but haven't had the courage or time or motivation?
As you may know, I've wanted to write a book my whole life.
I distinctly remember being 29, freshly divorced, trying to find myself and my path.
The only place that comforted me was Barnes & Noble.
I would arrive early on a Saturday morning, buy a large latte, settle into an oversized tan leather chair and surround myself with self-help books.
As I flipped through title after title, my heart opened, my blood danced with delight.
I envisioned my own book among the pile.
I had been writing a book about what it's like to be young and divorced. About your two best friends getting married just when you are getting divorced, about being the only divorcee at your 10 year high school reunion.
And then I got my lucky break.
I shared my dream on a random blind date when the guy said, “I have a friend who's a big agent.”
Next thing you know, I'm sending my manuscript off to William Morris – the biggest agent – with butterflies in my stomach and certainty in my heart.
He called the next day.
“You're a great writer, Carin, but I can't publish this.”
It was too much my own story, he said.
This was before Eat. Pray. Love. so little did he know that memoirs were about to be the hottest thing.
My heart knew it had to be my story, but my fear-brain took over and shut down the book altogether.
I stopped writing.
I quit my dream.
That began years of depression that eventually led me to violent nightly panic attacks.
And then I found Positive Psychology, the science of happiness and human flourishing. My psychiatrist suggested that I didn't need more drugs, but I rather, I needed to start DOing my dreams. Taking action.
So I did – I traveled to Paris by myself, I bought a boat, I ran a marathon.
And I started to feel better.
Then I was robbed at gunpoint and knew I had to pursue the biggest dream of all – becoming an empowerment author, coach, and speaker.
As you may know, I left my 6-figure, VP-title, corporate job to get my Masters degree in Positive Psychology and start this work. I intentionally wrote 100 pages for my thesis about Purpose (even though it was supposed to be 30) because I wanted to finally write a book.
That was 6 years ago and still the book isn't done.
Why?
FEAR.
Fear that I'll be rejected again.
Fear that no one will buy it.
Fear that you'll hate it and post all sorts of mean things on Amazon.
So I've written and re-written those 100 pages 300 times.
I created coaching programs to empower thousands of people to live their purpose.
I created a day and a half workshop on the material that is now taught in the Certificate of Applied Positive Psychology (CAPP) program worldwide.
But still, no book.
Until my dear friend Louisa pulled me aside this summer and said, “Carin, there are now 800 CAPP grads who have your Purpose material. How are you going to feel if one of them writes your book before you do?”
BAM!
My gut dropped.
My breath stopped.
I felt so sick I went to a toilet to try vomitting.
And I knew what I had to do: Finish the book. Send it to a publisher. So Louisa coached me, helping me work out the kinks in the structure, and holding me accountable to a deadline, and I'm thrilled to report that on January 31, I turned in my book proposal to a publisher!
The publisher may accept it, she may not, I may send it to others, I may self-publish, and none of it matters. What matters is that I'm fulfilling my lifelong dream and FINALLY, this weight has been lifted. Nothing can stop me now from becoming a published author.
What's crazy is that I knew everything Louisa was telling me. I help people fulfill their dreams All. The. Time. But sometimes, we need someone else to help us see the blocks, and hold us accountable to move forward.
That's why I love coaching you.
I want to do for you what Louisa just did for me.
Get you moving on your dreams.
Get you living your purpose.
my family, my life. So good riddance to those grudges. That victim mentality is not helping me any more. Now take the paper outside and light a match to it! Yep, good riddance!