MJ (Mary Jane) Grant shares with us how being a proud CODA (Child Of Deaf Adults) defined her life purpose – translating and interpreting the human heart. For MJ, being a CODA wasn’t “pain” or “struggle,” but the world is not set up to support deaf people. People would call her parents dumb, and now caring for her mother with dementia, she’s risen up to share the very real experience and challenge with others in a documentary. She will open and break your heart and show you how to persevere with joy, grit, and purpose. You will LOVE her and this episode!
It's a fact that no one is exempt from going through tough times. More often than we'd like we find ourselves dealing with really difficult situations than can be frustrating and unfair, making us feel powerless. But even though most of us may fall into these negative ways of feeling, we ALSO can find truly meaningful gifts hidden among the adversity.
In this episode, MJ and I laugh (she’s become a good friend), we cry, we dish on joy and rollerblading and all things to rise up from trauma. She’s a lifelong learner who grew up with a passion for connection and skillful, nuanced communication, excelling in the daily work of connecting others while opening hearts along the way.
In this episode, MJ and I discuss the following:
- The importance of accepting yourself -and HOW to accept yourself – plus how not doing so can lead to identity struggle, depression or worse.
- How to overcome external judgements.
- How to turn hard situations into fertilizer for personal growth.
- An upcoming new paradigm that embraces difference and accepts everybody as special in a unique way.
- Regardless of how hopeless a context may seem, remember – you always get to choose!
Watch “So Happy to Meet You”, the short documentary MJ did for the International Dementia Conference that was founded by HammondCare in Australia (https://youtu.be/3py3DHOfW2w). You can check out the journey she has documented at her Instagram and Twitter account (@mjgrant) and also at her YouTube channel (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4eyyELBabLfNrHMsEeBNMg).
Want more PurposeGirl?? Ready to be your full Goddess on Purpose self? And desire Sisterhood who feels the same? Join the Free PurposeGirls Facebook Group! I post prompts, motivation, and do free live videos and challenges to get you on purpose and loving life!! Join here!
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Thank you so much for listening, love, and if you aren’t following me already, you can find me on Instagram and Facebook.
May you live purposefully, may you love yourself, and may you love life!!
Bye for now!
About Mary Jane Grant
Mary Jane Grant AKA MJ came into the world with a magical curiosity for life. Born to two Deaf parents in Sanford, Maine, MJ is a lifelong learner who excels in the daily work of connecting others while opening hearts along the way. She is a proud CODA (Child Of Deaf Adults) and a native user of American Sign Language (ASL), who grew up with a passion for connection and skillful, nuanced communication. MJ has learned, loved and thrived through every chance encounter with the individuals she has met along the way. Her joyful, intuitive nature reflects a warmhearted tenderness and instinctual resilience that emerged early in life and led to a career as a professional sign language interpreter. She has worked with Deaf communities across the U.S. while managing her company, Mary Jane Grant Sign Language Interpreting Services, in between moments of happy chaos at home. But her real gift in the most simple terms? She translates and interprets the human heart. In recent years, MJ walked alongside her father, who passed in 2019, after his battle with Progressive Supranuclear Palsy while being the primary caregiver for her mother who is living with dementia. Having navigated the healthcare system, MJ discovered the tremendous barriers to care for Deaf seniors. It is MJ’s mission to open the hearts of others and ensure her mother, Carmen, as well as every other Deaf senior, has access to the highest quality care to live their best life possible.
Carin Rockind 0:07
Are you ready for true happiness,
for deep fulfillment,
for feeling alive on purpose and
in control of your life again?
It's time to be the bold, brilliant,
beautiful woman you were born to be.
Welcome to the PurposeGirl Podcast! I'm women's happiness and life purpose expert, Carin Rockind.
And I'm going
to teach you how to live on purpose, feel alive, and be happy in every aspect of life. I'm going to get real about my life and interview women who are living on purpose, so that you can finally live yours.
Welcome to the show.
Hello, hello, hello, my PurposeGirls. Every once in a while, you run into someone, you meet someone, who just blows you away. And you don't even know how did this person fall into your life. From the minute you meet them, you feel like you're connected. You feel like you know them, you feel like you would do anything to help them. And you're so inspired by them. Right? I want you to pause for a moment, I want you to think about who in your life is that person or one of those people because I certainly have had several. Who in your life is that person or has been that person. And maybe that hasn't happened for you yet. You're like, ooh, I want that to happen. Well, someone recently came into my life. And that was the exact experience that I had. And on meeting this woman who you're going to meet in a moment, I was immediately drawn in, drawn into her story, drawn into her spirit, drawn into her soul and drawn into how she has taken what, to me, is a very different way of growing up than how I grew up. And what some may think would be challenging, would be difficult, and also awesome and interesting and exciting. But she's taken her life and turned it into her purpose. And you all know I love those kinds of stories when we take whatever has been given to us. And we recognize that what we have been given has been given to us for purpose. Right? Like I know if you've listened to the PurposeGirl Podcast before, you know that I was robbed at gunpoint, and that I believe that I had to be robbed at gunpoint in order to be doing this work with you. And so, my guest today is this perfect, beautiful example of taking her life and finding within it, that true purpose and then shining a light on the world. Now, let me explain a little bit more about who you're about to meet. Mary J. Grant, aka MJ, came into the world with a magical curiosity for life. And you'll see this is why I love this woman! She rollerskates!! Okay, that's just a little preview. She was born to two deaf parents in Sanford, Maine. She's a lifelong learner who excels in the daily work of connecting others while opening hearts along the way. She's a proud C.O.D.A. - child of deaf adults - and a native user of American Sign Language. She grew up with a passion for connected and skillful, nuanced communication. She learned, loved and thrive through every chance encounter with the individuals that she's met along the way. You are going to find that her joyful, intuitive nature reflects a warm hearted tenderness and instinctual resilience that emerged early in life and now led to a career in professional sign language as an interpreter. She has worked with Deaf communities across the United States while managing her company, Mary Jane Grant Sign Language Interpreting Services, in between moments of happy chaos at home.
She translates and interprets the human heart. Recently, she came out with a documentary about her experience of not only growing up with deaf parents, but caring for her parents, as they are getting older, as her mom has Alzheimer's. This documentary, you all must must, must go watch it. Josh and I watched it and we were in tears. And we're going to talk more about that. The beauty is that MJ is taken everything that has come to her in life, and truly realized the gift in it all. How incredible that she now has a documentary. And so we are going to talk about how you take your whole life, and you find the nuggets of purpose and you find your whole purpose and you turn it into purpose. We're going to talk about how you can create something even larger and more impactful than you ever imagined as MJ is doing with this documentary, and how you do so with curiosity and joy and magic along the way. Before we dive in, this episode is brought to us by The Women's Day Event! Which is sponsored by Insight and LiveHappy. Listen, you've got to get your booty registered for The Women's Day Event. If you have not yet like, pause this episode, go right now to TheWomensDayEvent.com and register. Because I have curated this event with 25. No more now! Of the most amazing speakers, teachers, everything you need to move past feeling blah, to move past feeling overwhelmed, to move past any places where you are stuck, you are in doubt, you are just in the UGH! so that you rise up in your purpose. You rise up towards your dreams, you're gritty, you're on fire, you feel sensual, you feel alive, you feel radiant! I am talking about a full day dedicated to YOU! And listen, even if you can only come for one hour, that one hour will inspire you and motivate you and literally shift your entire being for the next year. So get your cute booty over to TheWomensDayEvent.Com I am doing this for free for you. It's 100% free for you. So that we say goodbye to the craziness of the past year, so that you no longer feel stuck. I mean, if last year taught us anything is that we need to choose how we live our lives now because we can't control what happens to us. But we can control what we do. You can choose to live as that Goddess on Purpose. And that's why I have personally selected all of the speakers I have, so that you create your own wealth so that you go for that bigger leadership position, so that you feel like a mom who is still beautiful and senusal in your body, so that you get exercise and workouts that I love. I mean this is everything I love people! So I don't care if you can only make it to 10 minutes, still register because those 10 minutes will lift you up and make you feel amazing. Go right now. TheWomensDayEvent.com. TheWomensDayEvent.com. Do not delay. Okay, I'm watching you go now. Okay, now let's dive in with MJ. MJ Welcome to The PurposeGirl Podcast.
MJ Grant 7:07
Oh, Carin! Hearing that was just oh my gosh, that was really, really touching. Thank you so much. Because Wow. Wow. Wow.
Carin Rockind 7:17
That is honestly how I feel about you.
Wow. I feel the same way about you, Carin. You're amazing. You are. Thank you.
And you all should know how I met MJ. MJ's amazing daughter is our amazing nanny.
MJ Grant 7:35
Carin Rockind 7:37
And it's as if she was placed in our life for so many purposes. She is so wonderful, MJ, you've done such an incredible job of raising this young woman... The way she is with my son, absolutely can bring me to tears because she's so loving and so gentle with him. And she truly is an incredible young woman who is listening to her own soul and her own wisdom. And it is cool.
MJ Grant 8:09
It's so cool. It's so cool watching her grow into this amazing young woman. And you know, Carin, it's funny when she met you and Josh. She said, Mom, you're not gonna believe this. You are gonna love this woman. You are gonna love this woman. And so when she told me a little bit about you, I went, oh my gosh. Wow. I mean, this is fate. This is fate.
Carin Rockind 8:34
This is fate.
MJ Grant 8:35
This was really fate.
Carin Rockind 8:37
No doubt about that. No doubt about that.
MJ Grant 8:39
Carin Rockind 8:41
So MJ, when I look at you, I see such a bright, beautiful shining woman from the inside out. And a woman living with such purpose. And I want to start at the beginning because I know that you're a CODA, right, that was a new term for me since meeting you, child of deaf adults. And I've tried to imagine what is it like growing up with deaf parents who couldn't hear you when you were crying? Of course, they would see your screaming face.
MJ Grant 9:12
Right. Good. very in tune. Yeah.
Carin Rockind 9:16
Very in tune. And so I know you don't know any other way. And I would love it if you would share. What that what that's like?
MJ Grant 9:24
Yeah, I mean, I think you're right. I don't really know any other way. And it's funny because growing up, a lot of people would ask, you know, what's it like growing up with deaf parents? And I'm like, Well, I know sign language, you know, and I, that made me feel really special that I knew sign language, you know, and, and that I had this sort of, quote, unquote, secret language that I could even share with some of my friends. You know, we could have like private conversations in school, but growing up with my parents for me, I think just by virtue of how I came into the world, I don't know as a Soul as just as, as a being, I am very extroverted by nature. And so I, I am a connector and being able to connect with people through such a beautifully rich language, and connecting with a whole community of people who many, many people don't necessarily connect with was, for me very powerful and continues to be a major part of my life. Because my parents had many deaf friends, right? So they were a huge part of the deaf community, or my dad was more involved in the deaf community and my mom was really home with us. But I, I felt such this sort of like kindred kind of spiritual connection with deaf people in general. And for in many ways, sign language is sort of my it's my heart language. It's, yeah, it's where it's the language I use, when I really want to express myself fully. I noticed that I tend to struggle expressing myself in spoken language, because it just doesn't embody the true essence of what it is I really want to say. I was plucked and said, okay, you belong with deaf parents.
Carin Rockind 11:22
Yes. This is exactly where your soul was meant to be. And this richness,
MJ Grant 11:26
Carin Rockind 11:29
MJ was in my Goddess on Purpose class. And we were talking about being in alignment. And you made this beautiful hand gesture of your hands coming over your head and coming together. And you could feel the power in our Zoom Room. Because the spoken word "alignment" isn't as rich as the physical embodiment of the two hands coming over your head and coming together.
MJ Grant 12:06
Carin Rockind 12:07
And I think we all felt that alignment land.
MJ Grant 12:10
Carin Rockind 12:11
And so I can totally hear what you're saying.
MJ Grant 12:13
Carin Rockind 12:14
I totally get what you're saying that there is this beauty and embodiment that the spoken word doesn't have.
MJ Grant 12:22
Absolutely, absolutely. And it's not, you know, it's very cliche to say, you know, American Sign Language is such a beautiful language, you know, all languages are beautiful. But this language, again, because it's my heart language. It's, it's, it's rich in a way that is incredibly spiritual for me. And recently, I lost my father in 2019. And I remember feeling like, wow, I lost my, my deaf dad. That means that's, that's a piece of not just a piece of my heart. But a piece of how I learned to express my heart, you know, is gone.
Carin Rockind 13:15
MJ Grant 13:16
There, there will never be another Deaf dad. Like my dad, the specific that his voice when he would say my name will never be the same as how anybody else ever says my name, and how we could communicate with just our eyes very subtly and share little idiosyncrasies, you know, that nobody understood? Even even people around me people who are deaf or, or who are CODAs or know sign language, couldn't necessarily catch some of the just little subtleties that my dad and I would share this with the little nuances in the language.
Carin Rockind 14:00
Yes. Yeah. And,
MJ Grant 14:02
Wow, it's, there's something really impactful about having that deep, deep connection with your Deaf parent. Oh, yeah.
Carin Rockind 14:16
I am sorry for your loss.
MJ Grant 14:17
Oh, thank you.
Carin Rockind 14:19
I've been watching some of your videos lately on social media, about your dad. So I've gotten I've gotten the gift of getting to see him and know him and see you together.
MJ Grant 14:30
Carin Rockind 14:31
What you're talking about, though, is that nuance when we lose a sense, and I don't know anything about this?
MJ Grant 14:39
Carin Rockind 14:39
So I'm just telling you what I've read. So you'll have to fill me in more based on what you know. And I know you don't know what it's like to be deaf.
MJ Grant 14:46
Carin Rockind 14:46
That's not your experience. Your experience is the child of Deaf parents. When one sense is reduced,
MJ Grant 14:54
Carin Rockind 14:54
Our others can be heightened.
MJ Grant 14:56
Absolutely. Mm hmm.
Carin Rockind 14:58
And so this nuance you're talking about I have the sense of it's as if with your dad, you could hear more he could hear more.
MJ Grant 15:05
Oh, yeah, he could. Absolutely.
Carin Rockind 15:07
Because you can feel it because the eye movements meant more because the seeing because this beautiful intensity, and I didn't expect when I asked you the question, what was it like being a CODA?
MJ Grant 15:19
Carin Rockind 15:20
I didn't know what to expect, right? But I didn't expect you to say, what a gift.
MJ Grant 15:25
Carin Rockind 15:26
I got this whole other language. I got this whole other way of being I had my heart. This is what I love about you, MJ. Do you all see, do you all hear and feel like just the spirit of this woman? What a gift.
MJ Grant 15:39
Carin Rockind 15:40
When I could see other people out there going, Oh, this was so frustrating, you know? And you're like, Oh, what a gift.
MJ Grant 15:46
And honestly, I mean, don't get me wrong. I mean, human being the fact that I'm even breathing. And on this side of the dirt. I mean, says there are struggles in life, right? So there with everything. Absolutely. And there were struggles growing up sometimes. And some of those struggles were about perception. The way other people perceived my upbringing to be like. The way other people perceived my parents' ability to parent. The way other people perceived what it must be like to - or can deaf people drive? You know, I mean, they were shocked to find out that my parents could drive. That was a struggle, watching, growing up and seeing the greater world make extreme assumptions. I mean, we all make assumptions about things, right? Sort of human.
Carin Rockind 16:39
When you don't know something, we fill in a story
MJ Grant 16:41
Right that's the way the mind works. We have to make sense of things. So we create these stories to make it make sense. And the stories that I witnessed and heard growing up, I remember, I remember very clearly hearing, one of my friend's parents say, oh, her parents are deaf and dumb. And they didn't think that was offensive. You know, it was a, it seemed to be a term at some point that was used, or deaf/mute. And I remember it just being so marked for me. Like, wait a minute, what does that even mean? Why are we even labeling as it's like, my whole thing was, I know sign language, not so much that my parents are deaf, but that we know that we use sign language in my house. How cool is that?
Carin Rockind 17:32
MJ Grant 17:32
How amazing is that?
Carin Rockind 17:34
It's like, I know someone who has a French mom and they speak French at home.
MJ Grant 17:37
Carin Rockind 17:38
So, yay! You have an extra language. I'm actually envious! I only I've been thinking about this with Shay like, I don't know, another language to teach him. So I've already mentioned to Hannah, what words, I don't know what is the right age?
MJ Grant 17:53
You just go right from birth.
Carin Rockind 17:55
She can start right now with - I have been doing I love you with him. You showed me that. And I know a lot of people this is totally off topic. But a lot of people use sign language with their babies because babies can't yet speak!
MJ Grant 18:09
Well, and it makes sense to use sign when it makes sense to use a language that is accessible to any human being. Right? And sign language is accessible to any human being. Whether they are blind, sighted, deaf, hearing, deaf/blind, sign language is accessible! You can do tactile signing on a baby who is blind, which means you could take your hand and doesn't matter whether they're deaf or not deaf, take their hand and put it on top of your hand and use signs and use your body to communicate and take their hand and show them, you know, different expressions. And it makes sense when a baby is so young, they don't have the development within their what is it that the larynx or whatever it is, I don't know, whenever it just it's not developed fully. So they can't
Carin Rockind 19:02
Right! This is what Shay sounds like right now: blahhhhhhhh!
MJ Grant 19:05
And babies babble in sign language too, but they can articulate earlier in sign than they can with their voice. And so exposing all babies to sign language, not just one or two signs, sign whatever you can sign. It doesn't have to be a full, rich language. If you don't already know sign language, you know, don't feel the pressure to go out and you know, but but sign as much as you can with any human, you know any baby, because immediately they are they have that extra language to fall back on to communicate something that they might not be able to communicate verbally. Right. And it may be very subtle, you know, you'll see babies just babbling sign, but it makes sense.
Carin Rockind 19:53
MJ Grant 19:54
The gesture, the actual sign itself makes sense.
Carin Rockind 19:57
What's starting to occur to me in this conversation that I have never thought about, MJ, like you already have opened my mind to so much. I started doing transcripts of the podcast because of you.
MJ Grant 20:06
Carin Rockind 20:06
And I really I apologize to any and all of my deaf listeners or others who, for whatever reason, need and desire the transcript that I hadn't thought of it before. It's like, we don't know what we don't know until we don't know.
MJ Grant 20:19
Carin Rockind 20:21
So I thank you for that. I really, really thank you for that. What makes sense to me about sign language? And as we're talking is that here I am talking with my hands, right? I always talk with my hands, like the Jewish in me or you know?!
MJ Grant 20:36
I love it. Your expression!
Carin Rockind 20:38
And we do. That's really a basis, I would imagine of American Sign Language, that the gestures Oh, yeah. Describe how we're feeling what we're experiencing.
MJ Grant 20:51
Yeah. Very animated.
Carin Rockind 20:53
The tonality. Yes, very animated. And so thinking of babies, at least my baby. He is making so many hand movements right now.
MJ Grant 21:03
Yeah, he's trying to communicate, right!
Carin Rockind 21:06
He is right through his body. And here, I am doing the same with you. My hands are going everywhere as we talk. So this makes so much sense.
MJ Grant 21:14
Yeah, I think it's a really important thing to educate the public on in general, that sign language is not just a fashionable language, right? Because it's very cool to know signs. I mean, I thought I was really special - I am, I'm special. We're all special, right? We're all special. But I felt I felt a little extra because I knew sign language. And but I do think that it's not just the fashionable language right now that this is a necessary language for our babies hearing or deaf. And what's so interesting, what's always fascinating to me, Carin, is when a deaf baby is born. I mean, let's put yourself in this position. I know that you went through a lot in childbirth, and you have a lot that you were you're still processing through from your own experience. And imagine finding out your child is deaf.
Carin Rockind 22:14
MJ Grant 22:15
And so to me, quite honestly, I would be thrilled! Because to me, it is a cultural experience, it is not an impairment, it is not a deficit, it is not a negative, the negative part of it all, is the way in which the greater world perceives it and responds to it. That's what's negative. However, if you know there was a paradigm shift, which I think is happening, I feel it happening in the world, to embracing a deaf child right embracing difference embracing that we are all unique in our own way, embracing learning sign language for your deaf child and exposing them to the language, making sure that they have it from day one, that they have access to it even when you don't, you're learning along the way that is so incredibly important. And what's happening is there's a lot of this, there's this whole push on cochlear implants. And I'm not saying that parents who choose to use a cochlear implant on their child, that they're wrong. I'm not that's not my point. My point is, give them access to a language that is accessible to them. And so not only a sign language important for hearing babies, but sign language is extra important for deaf babies. And we can't change them into us. We can't make them us. We can't make them hearing. You can't make a person who is gay, straight.
Carin Rockind 23:45
Amen, Sister, preach!
MJ Grant 23:46
Religions have tried it for years, right? It doesn't work. It doesn't work.
Carin Rockind 23:51
And we don't want to!
MJ Grant 23:52
And why would we want to and what does that lead to? It leads to struggle with identity, depression, suicide, you know, I mean, so much!
Carin Rockind 24:02
The I'm not good enough as I am that there's something wrong with me when there is nothing wrong with you. A friend of mine, just posted on to Facebook, it's a distant friend. And I haven't spoken to her in years. But on Facebook, we're connected, that her baby is deaf. And she said don't pity us.
MJ Grant 24:21
Good. Good for her.
Carin Rockind 24:22
I want you to treat my baby the way you treat every baby. And I want you to speak to my baby. I want you to laugh with my baby. I want you to coo with my baby. I want you to play with my baby.
MJ Grant 24:33
Don't be afraid of my baby. Don't be afraid.
Carin Rockind 24:36
Can you imagine this tiny beautiful little thing and being afraid? Really the the fear though i think is is our own? Oh, I'm gonna do something wrong. I'm not gonna know what to do. I'm gonna screw something up. Like, this is just about love. And you're also making me think about a friend of mine from high school who was born blind.
MJ Grant 24:57
Carin Rockind 24:58
And he I will tell you has gone on to not only go to law school and attend law school, but to become a lawyer on behalf of people who have differences.
MJ Grant 25:11
Carin Rockind 25:12
And even at the University of Michigan football stadium, which is the largest college football stadium, in the nation, I think in the world like 111,000 people, he changed seating for differently abled people.
MJ Grant 25:27
Carin Rockind 25:27
And so here, one might think, Oh, my poor baby is blind or deaf, or whatever it might be, that man has like, is changing the world. Right?
MJ Grant 25:36
Carin Rockind 25:37
Taking his experience and wanting to create better experiences for people who have different abilities.
MJ Grant 25:44
Well, what stops us from changing the world? I mean, let's look at that. Right.
Carin Rockind 25:48
Amen. Right. Preach!
MJ Grant 25:50
Right. And so when we feel embraced and accepted and acknowledged and validated and honored for who we are, we could do anything, but so little feather video that went viral years ago, that little girl standing in front of the mirror, I can do anything!
Carin Rockind 26:09
My hair. It's so cute. Maybe we should put a link on the on the show notes here. Right? I love my hair. I love my skin. I can do anything.
MJ Grant 26:18
I love my mom! Are you kidding me? I am sure that resonates with you, Carin. When we were little, I just I felt like I love everything. I mean, this is something that I constantly have to rein in on. You know, I feel like if if people didn't set barriers, if people didn't establish barriers for me, that I would have, I would have done so many more things as a young person, than I did. And what happened was, I felt like I think, in looking back, that there were a lot of limitations put on me by some people. And I heard those voices more than I heard the voices of you can do anything.
Carin Rockind 27:06
MJ Grant 27:07
And it wasn't until recently, in my 40s. Maybe my 30s really, I started to realize, wow, MJ, you really, actually, you can do whatever you set your mind to Okay, no, I'm not going to be a singer. You know, I'm really not a good singer. I'll never be a singer. I'm probably not going to be a professional dancer. But I can get those skates on and I can try like hell out to be a good dancer out there. You know?
Carin Rockind 27:33
Okay, everyone, you've got to follow me on social media, her in these rollerskates. Okay, first of all, talk about such a fun spirited like, holy cow, and you're freaking hot. And you're a mom of four, like, what are you talking about? Right? So we might not become a professional dancer. But we can dance, right?
MJ Grant 27:57
We can certainly dance
Carin Rockind 27:58
And we can create anything. And the voices that tell us not may have been specific people and might just be society.
MJ Grant 28:06
Right! That's, that's the problem. That's the issue right now. And I think it's it's changing, it's shifting, it's getting better. And we're learning and growing. And, you know, the more we are willing to make mistakes and fall on our face, and get back up again, the better off we are. And we don't really learn from not making mistakes. We went from making mistakes. But when the world doesn't embrace difference, we feel that. And so when a deaf baby is born to a family who is struggling, and of course, they're going to struggle with accepting their child for who they are. What's going to happen.
Carin Rockind 28:53
MJ Grant 28:53
Right. And so do our work. Let's do our work. Yeah, it always comes back to us just do the work, do the inner work, take care of, of what's happening in here and I'm tapping on my heart. Take care of what's happening there. And what were the unhealed parts are, let's work on let's let's take care of that. Because that's what our children need. Our children need to see us and feel us healing these wounded parts. So that we don't pass that on to them.
Carin Rockind 29:23
That's right. That's right. Because that's exactly what happens is that we do pass it on.
MJ Grant 29:30
Carin Rockind 29:31
So the thing is, though, you know, like I mentioned, we only know what we know and don't know what we don't know and that now I know better. So I can do better in terms of the transcripts, your documentary, MJ talk about that you can do anything. You have a documentary that has gone and is continuing to go viral. That brought my husband and I to tears.
MJ Grant 29:57
Carin Rockind 29:59
So tell us about your documentary.
MJ Grant 30:03
Okay. Well, so I'll give you a little backdrop. So I'm caring for my mom, who is deaf, and she has dementia. She has vascular dementia. And I've been caring for her in my home for two years now. Prior to that she was in a memory care home. And before that, she lived with me for about a year. And my daughter is six years old. She's been in and out of our home being cared for, since my daughter was born, because I was still pregnant with my daughter when we had to move my mom up to Maine from Rhode Island, where she had been taking care of her own mother with dementia. And her mom had since passed, and my mother was living alone in Rhode Island, and things got a little bit tough. So we had to move her up here. Anyway, as I was experiencing, I don't know any other way to put it. But I really felt like I had to sacrifice at a - I felt like I was young. I mean, I don't know, call them my 46 I don't know how old I am 46 or 47. But I still felt like at the time, you know, I was early 40s. I felt like I'm too young to have to care for my parents. It's not something I've thought about doing. I mean, I knew someday it was possible that my mom would have dementia because I knew that, you know, my grandmother had dementia, it just made sense. Maybe my mom might have it. But I never realized that at the same time. You know, my father would be diagnosed with progressive supranuclear Palsy, my mother is diagnosed with vascular dementia. All of these things happening at the same time, my world is imploding on me. I mean, I am trying to run this business, trying to still take care of myself, trying to be a good mom, I felt like I was sort of failing at everything. And I was just struggling, and I wasn't failing at anything. I just wasn't doing what I thought I should be doing at each one of these aspects of my life. But I started documenting things through pictures and videos, because both of my parents starting to fail, decline, whatever. At the same time, I just thought I'm never going to have deaf parents, once they're gone, I'm not going to have these, if I don't preserve the memories of my deaf parents and the way in which we would communicate. I'm so afraid I'll forget. I'm so afraid my children will never see that part of my life, will never understand the richness of that part of my life. And I also wanted a baseline. So I could see where my parents were at this stage, this stage, this stage, this is around the progression of their, you know, diagnosis, very smart. And so there were a number of reasons why I did it. And I started to share some things on social media, as I was recording different things with my mom. And at one point, a couple of years ago, when she had just moved back in with me, she was living with me. At the time. My mother knew who I was. She knew I was Mary Jane. She knew I had four kids, she used to brag about the fact that I had four kids. I was taking a ride one day, so I could take my daughter Hannah out to go get a car. She was picking it up. And I saw I brought her to this town where there's a beach where my mother loved to go, you know, just sit by the beach. So I dropped off Hannah to pick up her car. And my mother and I went for this ride to the beach. And we sat there and I had my camera running the whole time, which is my my phone. I had it running on the dash. And my mother started talking about Mary Jane and LuAnn as if I wasn't there. And I was like well this is interesting. Okay. So I, I at one point asked her where I was where Mary Jane was, where's where's MJ? And she said, Oh, geez, I don't know. I haven't seen her a long time.
Carin Rockind 34:05
MJ Grant 34:06
She must be traveling. busy. Yeah. And so I explored that a little bit with her. And I certainly didn't want to shame her or embarrass her. And I never wanted to make her uncomfortable. So I just started asking questions, and that all got recorded. And at one point in the recording, I said something about Manly being my father.
Carin Rockind 34:36
MJ Grant 34:37
And she said, Oh yeah, Manly that was my - And she paused and she looked at me and she signed. I birthed you. And I said, Yeah. And that moment, she was like, oh my god and just hugged me. And, you know, as a mom to express it in that way. That was, what was salient for her is that she birthed me. I'm her's.
Carin Rockind 35:13
MJ Grant 35:14
I'm her baby, you're my baby. And, and she hugged me. And it was a really gentle, sweet, very authentic moment. And I posted a very short, just two and a half minute video of that conversation and it went viral. And I don't know if you've ever had a video go viral. But it can be the scariest thing that ever happened. Because the minute I did that, and I started realizing the video was going viral, I was so afraid that the world would be angry with me for posting a video of my mother with dementia that I was in some way outing what this looks like and shaming, you know it not shaming but maybe but humiliating her and subtle -
Carin Rockind 36:06
People might think you were exploiting or -
MJ Grant 36:08
Yes, thank you. That's the word. I was so afraid of that and I thought deaf people are going to hate me. You know, and it couldn't have been more opposite. The love, Carin, the love that I received about my mom has received since that video went viral is incredible. So fast forward. I mean, it got a lot of attention. And I got the attention of Hammond Care in Australia, which is an organization that provides services for people with dementia, and they're incredible. And they invited me to go speak in Australia for their international dementia conference. And then COVID. Right?
Carin Rockind 36:48
MJ Grant 36:49
So they had to cancel the the in person conference and it got shifted to an online conference. But because of that, they said, well, instead of you coming here to speak, because clearly we're not doing this in person. How about you create a short film about your journey? So that was where I had the opportunity to create this short documentary? And what a gift Carin, to I mean, what an honor, what a gift to be able to preserve my story, especially somebody who wants to document everything to have this 20 minute documentary, that is my story -
Carin Rockind 37:30
MJ Grant 37:32
My life, that that actually people care to watch it, you know, actually care to watch this?
Carin Rockind 37:38
You want to see my life?!
MJ Grant 37:40
You want to see my life?!
Carin Rockind 37:41
I'm not a Kardashian! It's a million times better, obviously!
MJ Grant 37:45
And you know why Carin, and it goes back to this whole feeling I have about I was I my purpose in this world is to open hearts and continue to open minds. Because every time my heart cracks and breaks, and just it feels like pieces are just falling. It opens.
Carin Rockind 38:06
MJ Grant 38:08
And so that moment with my mom. Yeah, there was, you know, there was a little bit of, wow, this is where we are. It wasn't painful. I can cry cry about it now. Because I think, Carin, I look back and don't realize that in that moment, like I didn't realize in that moment, how incredibly special that was until I've watched it after. It was like, I can go back on that video and watch it and think, Wow, that was a very heart opening moment with my mom and I and bonding with her the way I always really wanted to bond with my mother, that there was absolute presence there, which gave me so much as a mother myself and as her daughter. And then to be able to turn that story into a documentary. It's just been a very rich, rich experience and hard. I'm starting to realize like, wow, MJ, you're carrying a lot. You're carrying a lot. And thank goodness, you're taking that and turning it into fertilizer for growth.
Carin Rockind 39:22
Yes. For yourself and for others.
MJ Grant 39:25
And for others.
Carin Rockind 39:26
There's a responsibility.
MJ Grant 39:29
Yes, Elizabeth Gilbert said suffering without catharsis is like wasted suffering. I could say I mean, this is hard, right? So when Shay's up all night crying, like how can I use this for good? How can I use this? You know, how, how can this be turned into catharsis and be used for good, right?
Carin Rockind 39:50
As you know, I always talk about turning shit into fertilizer, right? Turning, turning pain into purpose and, and what's so beautiful about your story, you didn't go out and say I'm gonna make a documentary. I'm gonna make it - You were though, I am going to document this for myself for my children was all about opening hearts.
MJ Grant 40:11
Carin Rockind 40:12
And then sharing it with the public, I imagine was an open hearted moment of Wow, just look at this moment with my mom. And you didn't expect what would happen. But what you talk about in the documentary, which you all must watch, okay, there is a link, you all must watch Josh and I bawled. And one of the reasons for that I told you MJ is that his mom passed have early onset Alzheimer's, and so he really could recognize a lot of the story.
MJ Grant 40:42
Carin Rockind 40:43
But you also tell the story in the documentary about the lack of services?
MJ Grant 40:49
Yeah. Yeah. It's bad
Carin Rockind 40:51
For deaf adults with dementia.
MJ Grant 40:55
Yeah, deaf adults in general, nevermind in general, with dementia, but yeah, absolutely. That this is the reason why my mother is living here. And not to say, I don't love my mom dearly, and that they're, you know, I'm finding, there's many, many joyful moments caring for my mom, there's also a lot of, there's a lot of stress right now. Because let's think about this. I'm a mom of four. Yes, granted, my - I have two older kids now, but I have, I still have a 16 year old and I still have a six year old in the middle of a freaking pandemic. And I'm still trying to run this business full time and acting like some sort of martyr and not asking for help for it. I mean, it's ridiculous. And then, and then, and then I want to still take care of myself. But most of what's on my plate right now is caring for my mom to the point my daughter is like, there are a lot of things that she's not getting from me. Because I have to do all these other things. Right? So this can be a real struggle. And, and the only reason why I'm doing it is because if I put her somewhere else where nobody can communicate with her, she'll die. She'll die of starvation of emotional and social starvation.
Carin Rockind 42:17
MJ Grant 42:17
I mean, that is I'm not doing that to my mother. I feel like that's killing her. And I understand why some families have to, I understand that. But it also costs a lot of money, Carin. I mean, a zillion dollars.
Carin Rockind 42:30
I don't know how people do it. I mean, I witnessed with my grandparents. And that's why my parents, you know, you and I are the same age MJ and we are young, okay, we are not old. And I am not ready to face where you are losing a parent, and caring for another parent. I feel like I'm way too young for that. So I totally get what you're saying. And my parents witnessing what happened with their parents and the cost and everything else. Like they've just really made sure that that is, you know, all taken care of for them. Which is, you know, which is huge. And I'm grateful. And I have to say witnessing the videos of you and your mom. You actually make me want to care. Should the time come? That video you are describing with your mom when she hugs you, because I've seen it.
MJ Grant 43:21
Carin Rockind 43:22
Oh, oh, what that moment and really witnessing so many moments between you and your mom that you share in the documentary and that you share on social media. You're opening hearts, it's almost as if you're reopening hearts, right? I think we're born with an open heart.
MJ Grant 43:40
Carin Rockind 43:42
Right. And in the mask half of the news and needing to get ahead in the world and all the crap.
MJ Grant 43:52
Carin Rockind 43:53
We just get them hardened.
MJ Grant 43:54
Carin Rockind 43:55
There's such pure moments, those moments with your mom are pure. And they're true.
MJ Grant 44:01
They're very true. Yeah.
Carin Rockind 44:03
I think that's why they touch us all so much and why that video went viral? Because it was a a moment that somewhere in our psyche, we remember.
MJ Grant 44:11
And that is why I think that people embraced it so much. And it resonated with so many people because at the end of the day, I don't care who you are. If you are a human being you somewhere deep down inside. Seek connection. You need connection.
Carin Rockind 44:31
That is it. Our base human need is love. Period.
MJ Grant 44:36
Carin Rockind 44:38
Okay, I'm pausing us for one second to make sure that you have registered for The Women's Day Event! Yes, I'm being annoying, but I'm being annoying for your own good, because I know that this event will change your life. I know what it's like to feel down to feel depressed, to feel anxious to feel blah. I know what it's like to feel like there is no moment mentum or like, there's no one out there who gets it. And that's why I have curated and created The Women's Day Event for you. It is an entire day for you to get rejuvenated, for you to fill up on self love, on purpose, on sensuality, on feeling sexy, on learning how to be an entrepreneur, on learning how to go for the big promotion, on gaining wealth, on taking control of your life, so that you choose. And yes, MJ and her amazing team are interpreting the entire thing into American Sign Language. So whether you need and want that American Sign Language are not just from MJ you can see the caliber of women that are bringing The Women's Day Event to you. I'm talking about these women have overcome so much in their life to be the leaders in their field. I'm talking about New York Times bestselling author Angela Duckworth, who wrote and is gritty right? This is all about having that passion and perseverance towards your goals. Jen Pastiloff who herself became deaf in life. And she writes such beautiful beautiful work on being happy even with a quote unquote, imperfection her word not mine. And I've curated brought together each of these speakers intentionally for you, the women who have been my coaches, who've helped me create and grow my business, the women who have taught me sensuality, like the women who make me a frickin Goddess on Purpose! That's who I'm bringing to you. So if you have not yet go register right now, yes, I'm being annoying, because I want you to live as that caught us on purpose that you are and I won't shut up until I see you live in it. Okay? Ain't gonna stop not gonna stop. So if you haven't registered, go right now, even if you can just make 10 minutes of the event those 10 minutes will elevate you will inspire you will motivate you will have you feeling so freakin good in your heart, mind, body and soul. Okay, go register. Now, remember The Women's Day Event brought to you by Insight and our media partner LiveHappy. Okay, back to MJ.
There's a study done with monkeys and it many years ago in the 70s. The Bowlby Studies. I thank G-d animals aren't used for psychological studies anymore. But where a monkey was taken, baby monkey was taken from his mama. And then was given to monkeys, fake monkeys that baby could feed off of, and one was fuzzy and furry and soft. But no milk, and one was wire.
MJ Grant 47:33
Oh my good G-d.
Carin Rockind 47:35
Oh, it's horrible. It's horrible. And what the baby monkey did is a clung to the soft Mama.
MJ Grant 47:41
Carin Rockind 47:43
Until it was starving, and then went over to the other one. But as soon as the feeding was done, went back over to soft Mama.
MJ Grant 47:49
We all need love
Carin Rockind 47:50
In our heart. That's all we need. We just want love we've had that is it. And that drives everything. And what I see between you and your mom is such a love. Such, it's pure. It's such pure love. And the other thing I see in your documentary, I mean, you know, I'm a PurposeGirl. So I'm all about the purpose. And you've identified a real gap in care, that she would starve that there isn't a place and aren't appropriate services for our Deaf brothers and sisters. And your documentary take steps to highlight the issue so that we can make change in the world.
MJ Grant 48:34
Yeah, yeah. And that's it. And you know what, that's remarkable to me. I mean, I'm in awe by that, that my, in the big scheme of things in the big world, my story is so minute compared to, you know, this big world, but that it that it created such an impact. That's incredible to me, and in such an honor, because I know there are many, many stories out there, like mine that just aren't being shared, or people don't have the opportunity or the platform or whatever. I happened to have a video go viral. I happened to just, I don't know hit the jackpot in that way in terms of gaining an audience and being able to spread awareness. And there were days after that video went viral that I just sobbed. Because I was so in awe at the recognition of what it was that I was experiencing. And that and also always in awe that the world saw my mother. The mother that I always wanted the world to see as the beautiful human she is
Carin Rockind 49:44
And she is!
MJ Grant 49:45
Isn't she great?!
Carin Rockind 49:50
I'm in love. I can't wait for COVID Dilip so that I can meet your mom you can meet my baby and we're like,
MJ Grant 49:57
Carin, you would love her.
Carin Rockind 49:58
Oh, I already do.
MJ Grant 50:00
Carin when I hug her, she doesn't know who I am now. I mean, she has no idea. She lives with me I every day I'm helping her with their daily care. But when I hug her sometimes I just walk up to her. And I just wrap my arms around her. And she, the second she feels my body, Carin, this is what she says. Baby. Honest to goodness, she says that every time I hug her, she doesn't know who I am. She thinks I work there. She thinks my husband's the cook. She thinks that, you know, she has no idea who my daughter is we and we we introduce her every single day all day long. But when I hug her - baby! Oh, I mean, it makes you just melt and any stressful moment. It's like, ah, Mama.
Carin Rockind 50:52
MJ Grant 50:52
And I look at her and I'm like mama!
Carin Rockind 50:58
This is the gift you'll have for the rest of your life.
MJ Grant 51:01
Carin Rockind 51:02
This is the gift that your children will have to see. And she does know. It's like she doesn't know who you are. But she does.
MJ Grant 51:10
Yeah. Oh, she definitely
Carin Rockind 51:11
Oh, she knows. She knows.
MJ Grant 51:14
Yeah. It's really, it's really something. And again, I can't go without saying, you know, sometimes when I hear her bedroom door open, I start to have this like mini. Oh, here. Now I have you up at night, the panic, you know, the internal, ahhhh, like, what does she need? And I have to help her and I'm trying to finish work. And I want to play with Alana and I gotta do all these other things. But I have to tend to her. And I have to look at her when I communicate with her. I can't just talk to her from the other roomm Carin, I have to walk up to her look at her, get her attention. She's blind in her right eye, I have to make sure she - you know, and then it's a lot of back and forth to get her to understand what my question is. And because her cognitive, you know, abilities are really starting to decline part in part, there's not enough socialization, and it's part of the disease. I mean, let's face it.
Carin Rockind 52:07
MJ Grant 52:09
There are moments it's like, oh, yeah, with this pandemic, I have to tell you that I just said yesterday, I'm starting for like, the first time in my life to feel hopeless. There's like a little tiny hopelessness that I that that kind of came over me yesterday. And I was like, Okay, this is you need to take care of yourself better, MJm that you really need to get out there and rollerskates whether it's zero degrees or not do something up, you know.
Carin Rockind 52:42
Okay, so few things. One, you must have me on speed dial for when you feel helpless. Okay? Done and done.
MJ Grant 52:48
It was a fleeting moment.
Carin Rockind 52:50
I know even if it's a moment, we all I mean, this is this is the thing about sisterhood, right? So MJ, and I were chatting for a minute before we started recording about sisterhood. And this is why I'm always preaching to all of you that you need it. And I know you have plenty of great girlfriends and all of that and that you're blessed in that way MJ, but we all go through moments of hopelessness, and I so appreciate you sharing all sides of this. It's not just rainbows and puppy dogs. It's frickin hard, challenging, and it's exhausting. And sometimes you don't have the energy for it or the time or the right. Like I admit it. When I'm in bed and I hear Shay crying. I would love to say oh, I'm such a great Mama. You know, here I come baby now I'm like, Nah, please. Right, Mama's tired. I don't wanna cuz we're human. Can we just be human?
MJ Grant 53:44
Yes, we can be. We really, we really can be and I actually envisioned like the day I'll be able to go back to the gym. And I like, you know how we have these little stories that we we create these little movies in our mind about what something might be like, right? I just envisioned collapsing to the floor and just bawling my eyes out, like oh my G-d I'm here. I haven't been here since March and I can't go anywhere, you know. Oh, good grief.
Carin Rockind 54:17
I hear you. Oh, do I hear you because the first time I got out of the house and went to CVS after Shay was born. It was like a month into it. I was like, civilization.
MJ Grant 54:28
Carin Rockind 54:29
MJ Grant 54:30
I mean, it's crazy.
Carin Rockind 54:32
It's crazy. So here you've been. So you mentioned roller skating. We talked about your roller skating. You picked that up during COVID.
MJ Grant 54:38
Carin Rockind 54:38
Right. It's so fun.
MJ Grant 54:41
Carin do you roller skate?
Carin Rockind 54:42
Well, not yet.
MJ Grant 54:44
You're so you're so going to roller skate.
Carin Rockind 54:47
Because of you. I mean, I did as a child, right? Like there was the roller rink and we would have birthday parties there and like, shoot the duck. Do you know what shoot the duck is?
MJ Grant 54:56
Yes, I do.
Carin Rockind 54:57
It's like a pose. I don't think I could do it
MJ Grant 54:59
I practice, I practice it. It's actually really good exercise.
Carin Rockind 55:04
I'm sure I'm sure. So you started roller skating. It was like your COVID relief.
Carin, when my husband got me roller skates he got me these just just cheapy roller skates for Mother's Day cuz I was like, Oh, why don't you know what i want to roller skate? And at the time, I just I don't know why it came to me. It wasn't like I saw it on social media the way you see it. Now. I don't know. I see it a lot now on social media because probably because I follow it all now.
Right? And you do it. And so it comes to you. It's like you probably don't see diaper ads and all I see are diaper ads
MJ Grant 55:34
Carin Rockind 55:35
Right, you were there 6 years ago.
MJ Grant 55:37
So I just said, You know what, I want to pick up roller skating. I can't go to the gym. I'm not really moving as much. I was doing CrossFit for like five years. And then I just done you know, here I am sitting at home and trying to do all this. And my husband got me these roller skates for Mother's Day. And when I put those roller skates on, Carin, I literally literally was like, Oh my god, it made my dreams of flying. I often. I can I can just fly. Yeah, fly in your dreams.
Carin Rockind 56:05
Oh my god. It's so fun.
MJ Grant 56:06
It's the best feeling ever. I feel so good. It's so fun. You're gonna love roller skating because the minute I did that, I went. Oh my gosh, it was like riding a bike. I remembered right away. Okay, and then I felt like this makes sense. Now my dreams make sense. I'm supposed to be flying. I'm supposed to be just free. Like a butterfly. just freeze and flying. And oh my gosh, that was it. That was it. For me. I became obsessed. I'm an obsessive personality anyway, but with roller skates, that was it. And now that it's winter. It's really hard. I mean, I did. I'm not gonna lie. I did go out there the other day in you know, the day after Christmas. I live in Maine. Mind you. This is not Hawaii. I'm not in California. I'm not in Florida. You know, there's snow. My daughter got this riding unicorn. So we took it outside and I slapped my roller skates on she was riding the unicorn and I had my roller skates on and then I even hopped on the unicorn with my rollerskates, to ride the unicorn with my roller skates. No, I've lost my mind completely. But roller skating is just there's something very, very freeing about it, that I literally have these dreams of dancing, dancing like a ballerina dancer, and just twirling!
Carin Rockind 57:28
Do you see why I love her?! We've just gone from crying about the purity of her caring for her mother with dementia into like, freedom an ease. And rollerskating. It's like seven, this is the whole thing, right? It's like, in the middle of COVID, we all had to shift and it was hard and it was difficult and lonely and we weren't moving our bodies and you're homeschooling, you're taking care of your mother with dementia, you're trying to keep a business going. I mean everything at the same time. And you could have made a million choices like anytime I have five seconds, which is never you're gonna sit on the couch and eat potato chips. And instead and maybe you did and in addition to that,
MJ Grant 58:12
Carin Rockind 58:12
You got the roller skates on. And you decided to have fun. You decided to set yourself free. And this is why it's like, you know, MJ, I'm always talking about these kinds of things where like, we get to choose the bottom of everything we get to choose and you don't choose what happens to you in life, but you do choose what you make of it.
MJ Grant 58:33
Absolutely. And you know what came from me discovering roller skating. My daughter discovered roller skating.
Carin Rockind 58:42
Your six year old or Hannah?!
MJ Grant 58:44
Well Hannah will do it too on when she'll put on roller skates if she's home sometimes, you know, but she likes the penny board. She likes to skateboard. But Alana roller skates my even got my son to roller skate. And this this week, I have an appointment to go to an indoor gym. That's they're going to have the floors renovated next month. So she invited me to use the gym basketball an old basketball court to roller skate
Carin Rockind 59:09
To roller skate!
MJ Grant 59:09
With nobody there.
Carin Rockind 59:12
Oh! What are you going to wear!?
MJ Grant 59:16
I have these great rollers getting socks. I got these great shirts.
Carin Rockind 59:23
I just had the picture of you MJ as the unicorn. You're gonna go are the unicorn you're gonna be like flying around like the Pegasus that you're all so delicious.
MJ Grant 59:34
It's really, ugh.
Carin Rockind 59:36
It's just such a great example. It doesn't matter who is in our lives, right? Like the challenges the difficulties none of us are exempt from having challenges and still we get to choose. It doesn't mean you're happy 24 hours a day. So it no means that you get to choose and choose and choose again, and that's what I witnessed in you. And it's like, there are so many people out there. They're trying to make a video go viral. I admit it. I've tried because, right. It's like we're trying to get our message out in the world. We're trying to have people know who we are and what goodness we can invite people into. And what you're showing us is it's not about trying or making an effort, because that's not what you were trying to do. You simply were sharing from your heart. And it's, it's heart that is purpose. That's heart that is purpose.
MJ Grant 1:00:25
That's so spot on Carin, that, you know, like I said, It scared me when that video went viral, because I, I never thought about a video going viral. It literally did scare me. But I can see how people can get sucked into getting sucked into trying so hard that you lose the authenticity of it. Right? And I think the difference is, there was some naivety when I posted that video, you know, I'm going to share what's going on in my life, what's up with my mom, I want my friends who know me to be able to connect in some way with with my life and what's going on. There was some naivety to that. And that's the part of me, I never want to lose, because that is the part of me that is the most authentic part. It's like, that's the little girl in me that never went away. And granted, that little girl can take over sometimes in a way that's not so pretty. I've got part of me that you know, that has that little naivety. I think that is that where the heart opening stuff really comes in?
Carin Rockind 1:01:33
That's our truth.
MJ Grant 1:01:35
Yes, that's our truth. Absolutely. That's our truth. That's where we find those pieces where we just align.
Carin Rockind 1:01:43
Oh, and if you could see she's making the hand movements that we all that we talked about at the beginning. Yeah, MJ, you know, I could talk to you forever. You have so much wisdom to share. So much beauty, that you just emanate your essence, your aura, you have such a wisdom, so much wisdom, and such genius and message. And actually, I want to make sure we get this message what what would you like to say to if it's government or lobbying organizations or around caring for deaf adults? What can we do different?
MJ Grant 1:02:21
How about we we don't leave anybody behind the way in which the system is established when we are setting up establishing new systems establishing setting new policies or, or laws, let's not leave anybody behind. And the problem is, is the system has already been established without keeping everybody in mind. And so remember what I said, for me, growing up in a deaf family was a cultural, it is a cultural experience. And for many, many people, like my parents, it's a cultural experience. It's not the same for every deaf person. I am not speaking for every deaf person, I'm speaking based on what I experienced and what I know, my parents valued very much. And before my father passed, I said to him, I promise you, I am going to make this happen. I'm going to find a way to establish a home where deaf people can be together as they're aging, as they perhaps have dementia or have, you know, medical needs. I'm going to find a way to do this. In honor of you, in honor of mom, in honor of my cultural experience.
Carin Rockind 1:03:39
Yes, your family your life. Man, this is legacy. And I know it's done. It is done, MJ it is done. It is done. It is done. And this is why we can't force anything to happen. There's this co-creation with the Universe. There's a bit of magic, right in the feminine. When we're just coming from our heart, and we're speaking our truth from that place. That may seem a bit naive. And that is just our truth. Yeah, people feel it and they want to come on board and they want to,
MJ Grant 1:04:12
They want to support!
Carin Rockind 1:04:13
Yes, yes, yes. Oh. So here's what I want all of you to do. So that we can support MJ and support every single deaf American Australian, you name it, right? It doesn't matter
MJ Grant 1:04:33
Person in the world!
Carin Rockind 1:04:34
To take a look at the systems in which you're a part and are are they included? Now, of course, this is the same. And I haven't thought about blind people or mute. Or I mean, there's so many right we we don't know what we don't know. And let's keep being open. Let's keep learning and let's keep changing.
MJ Grant 1:04:55
Absolutely. Yes. That's right.
Carin Rockind 1:04:58
MJ, MJ, MJ, MJ. Okay. No Okay, so much so much. You know, I end every episode of The PurposeGirl Podcast, I ask all my guests a few random questions called the Purpose Power Play Round. Are you down?
MJ Grant 1:05:12
I'm down, go for it. Go for it.
Carin Rockind 1:05:15
Okay, when you were little What did you want to be when you grew up?
MJ Grant 1:05:19
I wanted to be a singer?
Carin Rockind 1:05:20
And you just told us you can't sing? Can you sing for us?
MJ Grant 1:05:23
No, I can't sing!
Carin Rockind 1:05:24
I'll sing with you! What can we sing?
MJ Grant 1:05:27
Okay. No, I really can't sing but I'll sing with you. Because not?
Carin Rockind 1:05:30
I'm - the world's worst voice, Okay, how about we sing something we both know. Like, Twinkle twinkle?
MJ Grant 1:05:35
No, do you know Annie? The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow.
Carin Rockind 1:05:40
I know a couple lines.
Singing with MJ: The sun will come out! Tomorrow! Bet your bottom dollar that, tomorrow! There'll be sun!
MJ Grant 1:05:55
That's it that's what you're getting!
Carin Rockind 1:05:56
Ah!!! Your voice is so good!
MJ Grant 1:06:00
No, no, it's not Carin. I wanted to be on Star Search so bad. But I couldn't sing. I just wanted to be a dancer or singer or something.
Carin Rockind 1:06:08
I don't know. Yeah, well, something tells me you're gonna be on a lot of stages.
MJ Grant 1:06:13
Oh, I feel like I am. I'm on a stage and the world stage in a way that is not about what the way I wanted it to be when I was when I was five or six. But -
Carin Rockind 1:06:25
It usually doesn't look like we plan but there's, you have something to say. It's really right. The singing is that you have something to say.
MJ Grant 1:06:32
Carin Rockind 1:06:32
All right. My second question.
MJ Grant 1:06:35
Carin Rockind 1:06:36
What's one secret desire?
MJ Grant 1:06:41
Secret desire, absolute freedom. Absolute freedom, like to hop on to have a Volkswagen van. And to just go and wherever I want to go. Wherever the wind takes. Yeah, and meet new people everywhere I go.
Carin Rockind 1:07:05
Oh, that's fun.
MJ Grant 1:07:07
Carin Rockind 1:07:08
Oh, that's fun.
MJ Grant 1:07:09
Carin Rockind 1:07:09
That shall be. I don't know when the time is gonna come. But it'll be
MJ Grant 1:07:12
Carin Rockind 1:07:13
I love it. Okay, a book everyone must read.
MJ Grant 1:07:21
I really like well, Glennon Doyle's book was a really good book.
Carin Rockind 1:07:27
Her new one?
MJ Grant 1:07:28
Oh, jeez, that's a great book. But I also love Elizabeth Gilbert's book. Big Magic. I love Big Magic. I love Jen Pastiloff's laughs book On Being Human. I love Elizabeth Lester's book. What is it called? Broken Open?
Carin Rockind 1:07:43
Oh I haven't read that one.
MJ Grant 1:07:44
Oh, geez. I yeah. Talk about. Yeah, I mean, all of that stuff. It's all the field stuff. You know, all the real kind of human-ness. You know, the journey, stuff I don't I don't like to read. I want to read real stuff. I like documentaries and real life stories.
Carin Rockind 1:08:04
Yeah. Well, that's really where it's at. All right, so my last question for you. What's one thing you want every woman to know?
MJ Grant 1:08:15
That you have the power to change the world. You have the power to change the world, you have the power to open hearts, and you Carin I learned a lot from you in our Goddess on Purpose class, because you talked a lot about that. And it really helped me to sit into my power. And to remind myself to claim reclaim my power as as the feminine as a woman as as somebody who has the ability to really open the world and shift it. We all have that in a way that men will never understand.
Carin Rockind 1:09:06
MJ Grant 1:09:08
Carin Rockind 1:09:08
You just turned me on girl!
MJ Grant 1:09:10
Carin Rockind 1:09:13
We have the power.
MJ Grant 1:09:15
We SO do!
Carin Rockind 1:09:16
Well, because we're the Creatixes!. We are that we are life creators.
MJ Grant 1:09:20
Carin Rockind 1:09:21
Whether you ever have a child or not. It's women. The feminine is the creation.
MJ Grant 1:09:26
We're unicorns and mean we are very you know we're at the risk of spiritually bypassing I do think that we are very very spiritual beings that are incredibly powerful. But we also need we need to honor the the dark, right? We need to honor those shadow, the light all of it. And I think we have the ability to change the world. We're doing it you're doing it Carin, you do it every day! Absolutely.
Carin Rockind 1:09:53
As are you. Yes. Are you we all are we are all PurposeGirls and everyone out there you are too.
MJ Grant 1:09:58
And when you throw in rollers, I mean Well, you're gonna me that's it because people look at that woman she's on roller skates how cool you get somebody to look at you and go wow. And they laugh. You know you're like, oh my god
Carin Rockind 1:10:12
It's the magic sauce to to the fulfilled happy joyful life I love it. MJ I frickin love you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being on The PurposeGirl Podcast. You're amazing.
MJ Grant 1:10:23
Thank you for inviting me this was great.
Carin Rockind 1:10:27
And of course I cannot sign off without just one more reminder to get your booty registered for The Women's Day Event. This is the last PurposeGirl Podcast episode before The Women's Day Event and so if I'm not annoying about it now, and you later say to me, I missed it. Okay, you needed me to be annoying now. Okay, so I'm not gonna let you miss it. Go register right now like it is for your own good. I promise you. If you never do anything for yourself, do this. Even if it's for 10 minutes a half hour go. It will inspire you it will lift you up. It will fill you with so much goodness. I mean, this is what will have you make 2021 that incredible. Powerful delicious. Yummy. So living the life year. Okay, go register now TheWomensDayEvent.Com. TheWomensDayEvent.Com. This is it. The last podcast before unless I decide to do a bonus episode which you know I might do. But go go go go go. Okay, love you. And we thank you. Thank you. Thank you for listening to this episode of ThePurposeGirl Podcast if you loved it, and we hope you did. just pause this for 60 seconds head on over to Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen and leave your five star review. Your reviews are how women all over the world from Cameroon, to Uganda, to Mexico to Canada are finding The PurposeGirl Podcast and changing their lives. This is how we change the world one woman at a time. Make sure if you are not yet in The PurposeGirls Facebook group that you are because every single day I post an insight question for you to think about in your life and improve your world and to live your purpose and feel alive. And of course and with that my love May you live purposefully. May you love yourself and may you love life. Bye for now.