136 Feel Like You Have NO Time?

Carin Rockind 0:07
Are you ready for true happiness, for deep fulfillment, for feeling alive on purpose and in control of your life again?

It's time to be the bold, brilliant, beautiful woman you were born to be. Welcome to the PurposeGirl Podcast, I'm women's happiness and life purpose expert, Carin Rockind. And I'm going to teach you how to live on purpose, feel alive and be happy in every aspect of life. I'm going to get real about my life and interview women who are living on purpose, so that you can finally live yours. Welcome to the show.

Hello, hello. Hello, my PurposeGirls. I'm coming to you today with a quick short podcast. Here's why. I want to talk about time. There is no time, right? Is anyone else feeling me on this? It just feels like there's no time to follow your dream, there is no time to get even your grocery shopping done. There's no time to get your house clean. There's no time to get holiday stuff done. There's just no time.

Well, that's how it was feeling with this week's podcast. Josh and I are taking off for almost three weeks, at the end of the year. And in order to prepare for that, like I have a really packed schedule right now - I'm making sure that I'm seeing all of my coaching clients and making sure that I'm doing all my groups and making sure of all of that. And where that leaves me is no time to actually record a podcast for you know, time to write my newsletter and all the things that I want to share with you like no time to keep my social media accounts up.

And a couple of nights ago, I was up in the middle of the night, not because of my sweet baby boy. But because I was in a panic. Like, I haven't done a newsletter. I haven't done a podcast. I haven't I haven't haven't and I have no time. And lovingly, Josh reminded me of how much we are doing. Right. It's like my brain could focus on everything I wasn't doing. We're keeping our beautiful baby boy alive and not just alive but healthy and thriving and happy and smiling and having fun.

That we are keeping this awesome PurposeGirl business not only alive, but thriving. That this year, I launched my new signature program Goddess on Purpose and have done it three times where I've had more than 50 women go through the program, where I launched my new mastermind for women starting purpose based businesses, Goddess on Fire, and I've launched two groups for it and have 14 women going through it.

That this year, I created and birthed a baby?! Like, we've been in active mode, and we're kicking butt and taking names like that I'm finishing work every day by three o'clock, taking half of Friday's off to spend time with my son like I am doing it and doing it all. And does that mean that I'm doing it all perfectly? No. And that's what I want us to connect about today. I want to talk about time and I want to talk about giving ourselves permission to quote unquote do it all, but do it all imperfectly and in our own way.

So now that I have a child I am so hearing all of you on how there is like no time, right? How it really feels like there is no time. Every minute I'm not working I'm wanting to spend with my son. And I can so sense that there could be this guilt that if I'm with my son, I shouldn't be working if I'm working I should be with my son when what I'm really learning is that where I am is where I need to be. So as we go through and this is going to be a very short PurposeGirl Podcast usually my podcasts are like 45 minutes, there's tons in it. And this episode is for those of you who have no time and you just need a little bit of boost and you need a little bit of permission and you need a little bit of PurposeGirl you need a little bit of love this short episode is for you.

So what I'm realizing is that being where we are is exactly where we need to be. Now, the number one thing I am learning and not doing perfectly I'm doing so imperfectly is really feeling into what matters most. Right? It would seem like everything needs to get done - the laundry needs to get done, the house needs to be clean, the the thank you notes need to be written, the things need to be returned, like it all needs to happen. Plus for my PurposeBaby which is my business, which is PurposeGirl, you guys you deserve and need the podcast episode; you guys deserve and need my Facebook Lives; tou guys deserve a need the motivational messages I want to give you on Instagram.

And I have to get super clear about what is most important to me right now. Now, and the most important things to me right now are number one that my baby boy feels loved. That is number one he feels loved. And that that love is going to help him grow and be nourished and thrive. Number two, then is my marriage, and us being solid and whole and happy and keeping our marriage alive and thriving and interesting, and loving and supportive and fun. Number three, is that my clients feel loved and heard and supported. And then number four, getting the broader message out to the world at large. Now I have a little bit of panic putting everything into that order.

Because I say, Well, how am I ever going to grow as an entrepreneur If I'm not making my growth and marketing and getting the PurposeGirl message out to more people quicker? How am I going to grow if I don't make that the priority? Well, the simple answer to that is everything in its own time. Right now, my priority is with my baby, I spent the last five years trying to make him and create him. And I spent this whole year creating programs creating a structure in my business, helping tons of women and birthing a baby so that I could spend this time I've been in this wonderful sensuality class with Lauren Harkness. And a couple weeks ago, she took us through a visioning. And that visioning was what do we desire in life? And I realized in that moment that at this very moment, I have everything that I've desired.

Certainly, there will be more like I know, I want us to go live in Paris at some point, I know I want us to have a beach house, there is more. But the season of my life right now is to pause and savor. Is to enjoy the fruits of my labor. Is to be be with my child, be with my husband, be with my family, and enjoy them all. Not to be in the gogogo.

This is such a place where I feel like time really gets the better of us, we think we're supposed to constantly be in movement constantly be in gogogo mode. And certainly that is what is honored, quote unquote, in Western society. That's the masculine part of us, the doing, and doing is wonderful. I'm like the queen of doing! You want something to get done? Hire me as your coach, I will make sure you get it done. Okay? Because I've gotten every dream of mine in my life done.

Part of how I get the doing done is the being. That we actually must be first, we actually must know when it's time to be in ourselves when it's time to ground in when it's time to savor. And then there will be a point when you say, Okay, and now I'm ready to do again. This is beautiful polarity work by Cliff Kaiser. Sometimes we're in active mode. And sometimes we're in restorative mode. And knowing when is the right season for each.

Interestingly enough, Mama Earth tells us about seasons: that winter is actually the time to go inward, the time to hibernate. We can think about trees - trees lose their leaves in the winter, and you think nothing's happening. But actually below ground, the roots are getting stronger, growing deeper. And we actually have to root in more deeply, we have to be grounded more deeply in order to soar higher. Because with that, then the next spring, the branches grow taller, the leaves become more plush the flowers more in bloom. And we operate in the same way.

If you're struggling with time, number one, know what are the priorities for you right now. So for instance, cleaning my house, not a priority. It's a mess. I just got to be honest, my house is a big ol mess. Thank you notes. I've had so many friends say to me, "don't you dare send me a thank you note. Like you're a new Mama, you've got more to do than to write me a thank you note. Forget it. You texted me. That's good enough." Thank you to all those people. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Can you get help? Right? I'm like, you know what, I am going to see if I can ask my wonderful nanny, if she can help me with returns. I'm going to see if I can ask her to help me to do a couple of other things around the house that will help me. It's okay if there's stuff everywhere right now. That's what it is to have a newborn. It's also okay, if I'm not focusing on growing, growing, growing my business. There will be the season for that. And so number two is knowing when is the season? Which season a re you in and really feeling into your heart? Where do you need to be with that then is knowing that there will be a time right as I think about what shouldn't I be like promoting PurposeGirl right now? Shouldn't I be getting more people to listen to the podcast, etc. That is all fear.

It's my fear that if I don't do more promotion right now, if I don't do more marketing, if I don't do more programs, then there won't be any business in the future. Well, that's a whole load of crap-ola, because there's 7 billion people in this world. Unfortunately, there's gonna be a lot of need for self help and purpose in the months and years to come. And so with that is a huge piece of trust. The third aspect then I want to get into a time is letting yourself do it imperfectly. In the middle of the night, Josh was telling me it's okay if we don't have a podcast episode. And it is, I really gave myself permission to not do a podcast episode this week. And then when I woke up, it occurred to me, you know what, I can do a short episode. I could do a short episode, and I can still put in valuable content and still give you, my loyal listeners, what you deserve. And actually, maybe by doing this, I'm giving you exactly what you need, which is permission to do something imperfectly, I cannot tell you how many women come to me for purpose, how many of my coaching clients and frankly, myself and my own life, stop ourselves from following a dream because we're waiting for it to be perfect. I cannot tell you how many years I sat on a book proposal, because I was just perfecting each page. And then I would go back to page one and then perfecting it instead of just getting it out to an agent. Finally, I had a friend of mine say you're getting it out now period go. Imperfectly.

Do you ever do that? Do you ever stop yourself from just writing a blog post? Even though you don't have it perfectly? You don't know what you're gonna say? And you took the picture yourself? Not professionally? Or do you ever stop yourself from working on a business plan? Because you don't exactly know what you want to do? You don't exactly know who it's for. But you know, you want to do something? Do you ever stop yourself from just starting a social media account? Because you don't have it all together? Screw that BS. I want you to remember this 10 minute podcast episode that I'm doing imperfectly, on the fly, in between coaching sessions, just so I make sure that one I'm honoring my commitment to you to give you weekly episodes, two that I am continuing to support my mission of empowering women around the world. And three, so I can feel good about myself. I did it. Awesome. So proud of myself. The other thing with time is really looking at where are you spending time that doesn't fall into any of those buckets and doesn't even fall into the buckets of things you want to do? Like how much time are you spending scrolling through social media? How much time are you spending going over in your head the fight that you had with your father, with your mother in law with your sister? The things that you would say to an ex boyfriend or an ex girlfriend? Like how much time do you spend doing things that don't fall anywhere near your priority list.

A dear friend of mine, Val Burton, wrote an incredible book about time and I interviewed her for it maybe about a year ago, you can go back and listen to that. And she was talking about the hundreds of hours that we all spend. And she actually she and her family actually charted their time to see where they spend it and how much time was spent on activities like social media, or like ruminating, like the terrible beating ourselves up thoughts that aren't good uses of time. And so it's such a great time, this time, end of the year, to really pause and reflect where am I spending my time. Now, if 10 minutes of social media kind of relaxes you, or gives you some juice for your purpose, awesome. If you scroll through mindlessly, and you realize it's been a half hour or it's been an hour or even 10 minutes, but it's not juicing you up, and it's not on your priority list. The reason we spend so much time doing things that don't light us up and don't fit into our priorities is that there's some part of us that's actually afraid to spend our time usefully. Now, that might sound really weird and messed up. But we each have a shadow that likes to procrastinate. Procrastination comes from fear.

Even the social media comes often from fear, worrying that we aren't keeping up or that we aren't good enough or that we're missing out on something. It also stems from this base biological human need to see what other people are doing in order to know if we're okay. It's like a very strange psychological need. And we have to ask ourselves, is it a good use of my time? And so I've really been working on catching myself when I am doing those things to ask myself, is this filling me right now? Is this where I want to spend my time? My precious time? And I think that's the last tip I want to leave you with. Instead of thinking about I have no time I have no time. What if instead your new mantra was "my time is precious." My time is precious. And you started using precious as your benchmark. Is this worthy of my amazingness of my amazing attention my amazing space.

My dear friend Louisa Jewell who actually was Episode Four of the purpose girl podcast, the first person I ever interviewed in her book and in our interview, she talks about what she calls Peace at Six. Which is having a couple things in your life that you want to be a solid 10 at, like for me that is ensuring that Shay feels loved, sharing my family Josh and my parents, my sister friends feel loved. And then my clients, right? So what are you gonna be a 10 at? And then everything else, be okay with a 6. I say even be okay with a 4. Right like I couldn't even tell you the last time I actually washed my hair. So be okay with a four! Doesn't matter. Peace at six, or peace at four.

The most important thing, my love, is for you to get so clear on who you are and what would make you feel so blissfully, radiantly happy in this world. Is it fulfilling a dream and living that purpose, and you don't know what that purpose or dream is? Then your priority as you go into a new year is to really get clear on that. Let yourself have it. One of my beautiful students, she's been a mom for 10 or 15 years now. And she's like, Alright, now it's my time. Now it's my time. And that becomes her priority - doesn't mean she doesn't love her kids anymore. She's like, done, got it. They're doing good. They don't need her as much. She's the priority now. That becomes her 10 figuring out her purpose. And then my love, let your time be precious.

Remember, you are beautiful, you are capable beyond measure every dream that you have in your heart is meant to be. And you can do it imperfectly one teeny, teeny, teeny tiny step at a time. You don't have to write the whole novel over the next week or even over the next year. You need to pull out the pen and paper and write one word. And then congratulate yourself, celebrate yourself in the next day write one more word, or one more sentence, one tiny step at a time, five minutes at a time will get you there. And so do like I'm doing, I've decided that I wake up really early in the morning anyway. So I may as well just go ahead and spend those few minutes meditating, instead of ruminating in my head, I may as well get out of bed and write a sentence in my journal. Instead of flipping through Facebook, spending my precious time in a way that really fills me.

In fact, speaking of which, when I mentioned my priorities earlier, and I said Shay, feeling loved is number one, Josh loved just number two, I'm actually expanding that to Josh and my family and my friends. I'm gonna make me right up there. I didn't put myself in there. So I'm putting myself in the top priorities too. And then everything else comes after my family, myself, my clients, and my purpose.

With that my love. I hope that you felt this little jolt of love this short episode for you to just feel so good about your time and for you to spend your time on what matters most being the most empowered, purposeful version of yourself. If you don't know what your purpose is, or you know what it is, but you are not out there living it fully and you are so ready, then join me in my EMPOWERED program. The doors are now open. It's only open to 10 women, it is an intimate mastermind with me, where every single week for four months you get coaching from me, you get tons of exercises, we will support you in loving your whole self in discovering who you are in rising so high, using your wisdom for inspiration in the world. In starting whatever it is if it's a business, if it's a blog, if it is just you feeling in love with you - ugh! - This program is amazing. And this is the last year I'm doing it like this is it we start the second week of January. You want to make sure if you've wanted to work with me intimately, this is the way. So make sure that you are contacting me so we can set up a quick call and see if it's for you. There are only a few spots left send me a note I cannot wait to chat with you.

With that my love May you live purposefully. You love yourself and may you love life. Thanks for changing the world, one woman at a time. Bye for now.