Your No Means NO!

Last week, I found myself questioning my own purpose. Well, more accurately, other people questioned it and I almost abandoned myself. 🙁

What I remembered is that other people will always have an opinion for what we “should” do, and we get to say “NO!”

About a year ago, I was introduced to a big-time agent who represented all sorts of “big” names on TV and he wanted to represent me! I was flying high, so excited, so sure I’d “made it!” When we spoke, I was so nervous. He hounded me with questions so quickly I barely had time to answer. Did I want to be big? How big? How old was I? Did I want kids? Am I telling the truth? Don’t I know that happiness is a bad subject? Then suddenly he said, “we’ll be in touch,” and hung up.

My heart beat so fast, sweat dripped down my arms. I huddled over my knees and began bawling like a little girl. Afraid I’d messed up, that I wasn’t savvy enough,  I took a deep breath and said, “I’m just going to have to put my big boy pants on.”

My big boy pants? You know me. Does that even sound like me?

Deep down, I think I knew that this agent wasn’t a good fit, but I was too afraid to say “no.” I was desperate for him to want me. I thought I needed him. I was afraid that if I didn’t work with him, then I would never get another agent again. I was afraid I was STUPID for feeling like this. So throughout the year, I’ve fought with him, struggled to speak my voice, and questioned my message altogether. This is so embarrassing to admit, but I ended up confused and lost.

Sound familiar? For decades, you’ve been told what you “should” do, where you “should” work, and how you “should” act. You’ve internalized their stuff and you don’t need to anymore. You get to say NO! Say it right now: NO! Say it out loud: “NO!!!!”

So that’s what I did. Last week, I let this agent go. I was terrified because he was then promising to get me on “The View” and “Steve Harvey” – and you KNOW I dream of sharing my message of purpose as widely as I can! But in my heart, I knew I had to stand in my POWER and say, “NO!”

In your heart, you know if this job is right for you. In your soul, you know if you’re aligned. In your deepest truth, you know if you have dreams waiting to be fulfilled. How do you know? The whisper of your heart that yearns to make a difference. The desire in your soul that dances at the thought of an idea.

Here are three ways to know when to say, “NO!”

1. Look at your current life and ask yourself, “What am I NOT being honest with myself about right now?” For instance, if you’re lying to yourself that your job is okay because at least they let you have time off for doctors’ appointments or some other excuse, but really it drains you and hasn’t been exciting for a year, it’s a “NO!”
2. Write down everything that you do because you “should” do it. Look at each item one-by-one and ask, “If someone else would do this or help me with it, would I still want to do it?” If no, then it’s a NO. Go ask yourself “how else” can this get done?
3. When you are saying, “yes” to someone and your heart deflates, your eyes feel sad, and your body is tight, then, my love, it’s probably a “no.”

Saying “no” isn’t necessarily easy. And remember this: When you say “No,” you are making SPACE in life for your real purpose, for what you really want. That’s what I did and I KNOW that the right agent for me is coming. I know that by staying true to my message and to YOU, I am more powerful, creative, available and giving.

So, love, what are you ready to say “NO!” to? And… what are you ready to make room for in your life?  As always, I love to hear from you. Email me.

With so much love,
xoxox,
Carin

PS: If you want a PurposePower VIP day, I am opening a few slots in San Francisco in April for YOU to get pampered by me. In a PurposePower VIP day, you and I work one-on-one for a day to uncover your TRUE purpose and create your own brilliant path forward. It is a whole day dedicated to YOU breaking free and SHINING! You will learn my proven tools based in the science of happiness to help you create your own joyful, prosperous life. Join me! A PurposePower VIP day is a luxurious, delicious, yummy and priceless investment in your own happiness. What is your happiness worth to you? Email me for a free discovery session to learn if a PurposePower VIP day is for you.

UPCOMING EVENTS

March 26: Hey SiriusXM Subscribers: Join me on SiriusXM Stars 109 on Wake Up! With Taylor tomorrow, Thursday, 3/26/15 at 8:35 am ET to talk about SPEAKING UP FOR WHAT YOU WANT!

March 28/29: Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology in San Francisco: This incredible 6-month program teaches you the science of well being and human flourishing. You’ll learn Mindset, Optimism, how to use your strengths, Vitality, Purpose, and so much more! There is still time to join! Even if you have to miss class this weekend, you can join the rest! Email me and let’s chat!

April 25: #ThisIs40 Graduation! Closed event for the women in #ThisIs40. These amazing women are ROCKING life, writing books, following their passions, demanding respectful relationships. Watch out world!

And great news…

May 20: New Date! Succeed As You: 3 Steps to Your Happiest, Most Authentic Self! Introducing a new LIVE webinar with Sirius host, Taylor Strecker. You’ll learn to how to live your purpose, get your dream job, and finally be your true authentic self without shame, guilt or apology! Tickets on sale now – register by midnight March 27 and get my published book chapter for free!

August: Join me in Paris? I will be hosting a small group of women ready to learn how to LOVE THEMSELVES and EXPRESS your purpose BOLDLY in Paris! Join me to dive deep into your soul so that you shine brightly in the city of lights! Email me for more info!