- How you’ve been looking for purpose in the wrong places and how to change that
- What purpose anxiety is, the science behind how it is actually holding us BACK from uncovering purpose, and how we get out of it
- The true definition of purpose and how to apply it to your life
- Defining “your part” in repairing the world
- What you need to get curious about
- The major components of Purpose
Carin Rockind 0:07
Are you ready for true happiness, for deep fulfillment, for feeling alive, on purpose and in control of your life again? It's time to be the bold, brilliant, beautiful woman you were born to be. Welcome to the PurposeGirl Podcast, I'm women's happiness and life purpose expert, Carin Rockind. And I'm going to teach you how to live on purpose, feel alive and be happy in every aspect of life. I'm going to get real about my life and interview women who are living on purpose, so that you can finally live yours. Welcome to the show.
Hello, hello, hello, my PurposeGirls. I spoke to a woman a few days ago who was really lost about purpose and maybe even more so about who she is, who she is now that our kids are grown, who she is now that she has more time. And I shared with her my story to purpose. And she said, yeah, but you already knew your purpose. Like when you were robbed at gunpoint, you already knew it, Carin. I don't even know. And I said, well, wait a minute, wait a minute, let me be clear. When I was married the first time, I had no idea. I just knew that I felt empty inside, I knew that something didn't feel right. I knew that I just felt like I was missing something. There was like a lost feeling. And it was like I could look around my life and I quote unquote had everything, right? I had a nice house. I grew up with a lot of privilege. So I totally acknowledge that. I had a nice house when I was married. And we had a beautiful dog. And you know, I had a great husband. There's nothing wrong with him. But I was missing. And I just kept feeling like, I'm here for something. But I had no idea what. I just kept feeling like there's got to be something like there's something else out there. But I don't know how to even find it. I don't even know the first step. And so today, I want to dive into that question. What if you don't know your purpose? Like what if you have no frickin clue? When women come to me, there are often kind of two sides. One is I don't know my purpose, I don't even know where to start. But I want it. I want that thing that's mine. And then the other side, I have a sense of my purpose. Like, there's something I want. I have like a desire. There's a dream I have. But I feel stuck. And I'm not moving forward. And so today we are diving into the what if you just absolutely have no clue. We're diving into that question, what do you want to be when you grow up? Right? If you're anything like me, and most people I know, you still sometimes feel like you're 12 and you have no clue, right? So like, today, we're going to answer that question. What do you want to be when you grow up? And what if you don't know your purpose? You're gonna want to stay tuned to the whole thing because what I have for you today is so good and so juicy, and giving you so many tools for you to dive into that. What if you don't know your purpose and you don't even know where to start?
First, before we begin, I have to tell you that we are eight days away from my next Goddess on Purpose course starting. The most amazing, beautiful group of women are coming together to rise up on purpose, like to get so clear on their purpose, to be so invigorated and inspired. To know what is inspiring about them. To know what is their wisdom to share with the world. To activate all that they're here to be and do and make that impact in the world. This class is so much fun, it's so juicy, you have me getting my hands like, on your purpose on your life on your dreams specifically. Like I get to be in your life for eight weeks. And if you love the PurposeGirl Podcast, you will love being in live class with me. Because it's so energizing. It's so powerful. I get to like give you specific, customized coaching for you. So if you've been listening to PurposeGirl Podcast for a while, or even if this is your first episode, and you love it, like why are you not taking this course? I have created a payment plan so that it can only be $199 a month, like for a few months like seriously, this is such a steal. And if you need a better payment plan, just email me and I will work with you on it. Because I am on a mission that every single woman alive loves yourself, that you feel beautiful and worthy, and that you go for your dreams. That's why I exist. And so I know you love listening to me on the podcast. So join me live in class. Whether you know your purpose or you don't, let me get my hands on you and your dreams and let me take your dreams as seriously as my own. And let me just launch you even brighter, even bigger, even more powerful, feeling confident and alive and out there in action in the world. Go to Goddess on Purpose course dot com. Join us now, sister, there's only eight days left. And this course is for you. I have women returning for second and even third times. One of the women who's returning for our third time said, it's like an addiction. I'm telling you, you will love this course. Don't miss out on this opportunity. Join us.
So let's go back to when you were, let's say, I don't know, 7/8/9 years old, or 15 or 6 or whatever. And you were at a holiday Christmas party or Hanukkah dinner or you were at a family reunion, whatever it might be. And what do we love to ask little kids? What do you want to be when you grow up? Now, I don't know about you. But when I was a little girl, I wanted to be a cheerleader. That was what I wanted to be. I made a stick figure drawing of me as a cheerleader saying when I grew up, I'm going to be a cheerleader. I think I made that when I was like six. And my mom had it in her office for 30 years. It was so freakin adorable. I love that. And that's all I knew I wanted to be, right, maybe there was another time I wanted to be an astronaut, I don't know. But I remember then when I got to high school, I wanted to be an OBGYN, like I just had this one day knowing, I was driving I remember, I was a new driver, watch out road. And I was like wait I want to like birth babies. And I will tell you, there's still a part of me every time I go to my OB, and interestingly enough today I have my annual pap smear, after I record this episode, maybe TMI but not, so count this as a public service announcement that we should all be taking care of our health. And every time I'm in there, I still have that Oh gosh, I love this. And so how do we put together cheerleader and OBGYN? I'm going to get to that. But think about that for a minute. When you were younger, how did you answer that question, what you wanted to be when you grew up? Now, one of my clients who I started working with when she was 69. She was like, I wanted to be a rockette, but it's not like I can go be a rockette now. And I was like, Well, I don't know, I don't know anything about the rockettes. Maybe they have a special edition for hot, sexy, 70 year old women, I have no idea. And what's the essence of that? Another one of my clients wanted to be a writer. But she was told, you know, oh, writers don't make any money and you're gonna be alone. And you know what she ended up doing? Working in an advertising agency, supporting other people who were copywriters. And that happens actually a lot, were a dream that we have, we kind of stand on the periphery of it. Maybe you want to be an artist, but you are working in a gallery, or you wanted to write and you're working in this ad agency. And that actually happens a lot. And there are so many kids, so many of us when we were kids who had no clue. And so it's actually one of my least favorite questions in the world to ask a little kid, what do you want to be when you grow up? Because if you think about it, what do we know as kids? Like maybe 10 professions? You know, like, doctor because you go to one, teacher because you have one, whatever your mom or other mom or dad or other dad is, maybe a veterinarian if you have a dog, like we don't know a lot of professions when we're young. Not to mention the majority of professions that exists today didn't exist 30 years ago. Right? So I'm 46 years old. So when I was six, and people were asking that question, and I was making the cheerleading drawing, there was no podcasting. There was no life coaching. There was no YouTube. So like, a lot of what I do didn't exist then. And if we think about how many people are working in Silicon Valley, and technology and all these different ways, in virtual reality, like none of that existed. And so who knows, if we ask a child today what you want to be when you grow up, like who knows what's actually going to exist for them in 30 years or 40 years? And I think that this question really sets us off on a challenging path when we are trying to figure out our purpose. Because one, we don't know all that exists. Like, I remember when I was in my 20s when it hit me that someone names nail polish. I'm like, what? That's a job? Someone out there gets to name Big Apple Red? Like that's amazing. How do I get that job? And so I want to kind of blow apart, blow open your mind about the possibility to answer the question, what do you want to be when you grow up? To answer the question, what if you have no idea what your purpose is? Because the majority of the most powerful work in the world, sister, is work that we are creating. Work that we are paving the path to create. And since there are no two of us who are exactly alike, right, no one has exactly your same superpowers. You are a particular blend of kindness and creativity and leadership. An introverted extroverted deliciousness, mixed together with your ability to coach others, mixed together with your ability to cook raw organic food, I don't know I'm making this up. Do you see what I'm saying? Like no one else is you.
And so your purpose in the world, there is no, there there. Right? It's like we can't necessarily find a mold and fit into it. And so answering the question, what do I want to be when I grow up? Sister, what you want to be when you grow up, is allowing yourself to be you. Let me repeat that: is allowing yourself to be you. And if you don't know your purpose, it starts at knowing yourself. Doing the deep dive into knowing what is special and unique about me. And so purpose, right, I've done tons of research on purpose and two of the leading researchers Kashdan and McKnight, they define purpose as a central life organizing aim, right? It's central to who you are, we often tend to organize our whole lives around that purpose. It matters to us and so we make decisions based on it and it is a constant aim. Different researchers have different meanings. But what I can tell you is Kendall Bronk and Associates, they found that only about 20% of high school students report even having a purpose in life. And so there's this question we ask kids, what do you want to be when you grow up as if they're supposed to know? And we're kind of missing the whole idea of what purpose is. So the way I define purpose is purpose is the unique way that you actively impact the world. And let me break that down sister. Unique, it is unique to you, because there is no other you. So what we have to do is get so clear about your supershero powers. According to Gallup, only one in 33 million people have your exact same strengths. These are strengths of character. These are, who you be, how you shine in the world. And when you mix that with your special talents and skills, right, so even if you randomly found the other person who's one in 33 million that has your exact same superpowers, they're probably gonna have different talents and skills than you have. Right? And a talent and a skill is what you do well, maybe you teach really well, maybe you write really well. Maybe you engage with kids really well. Maybe you draw really well. Right, so how many people are going to have the same superhero powers strengths, and skills, talents? Like almost none. And then, even if there was someone else who had that same combination as you, they're probably gonna have different passions than you, right, different things that light them up. One of my clients after being with her grandmother through death, she became so passionate about hospice care. And that was really, she wanted to honor, like her passion was honoring our wisest and eldest people, humans, and dignity in death. And that was her passion. That's beautiful. We need those people. Flip to another client, who was working in advertising sales, but she came to me because as we discovered, she was super passionate about little kids, and nurturing them and seeing them grow and becoming a teacher ultimately, like two opposite ends of the age spectrum. They may have had similar supershero powers in terms of nurturing others, in terms of caring for others, in terms of loving, they may have even had similar talents and skills. But do you see, their passions made them so unique. And then there is this other aspect that I teach in the Goddess on Purpose course and in all my work, which is that no one's lived your life experience. And so often, we just take the moments of our life for granted like, oh, that's over. Oh, thank God that horrific challenge is over, or oh, thank God, the pandemic might be coming to an end soon. Rather than seeing that every experience of our life has given us strength and wisdom, wisdom that is ours to teach someone else. And that's actually how we take power. We take control of our lives, of the story of our lives and of our purpose. And so thinking of our purpose as the unique way that you actively impact the world, unique to you. Active, purpose is a verb or a series of verbs. Right? What do you want to be when you grew up? One of the reasons I don't like that question is it implies that we're each going to be one thing. Well, do you want to be one thing? Like, maybe you do. I know my parents had the same job for 30 or 40 years. But even they weren't one thing. My mom was a college professor, and a mom, and a wife and a daughter. But we grew up in this way of thinking oh, I'm supposed to have one job or one career for 30 or 40 years. Well blow that idea up sister, because that is no longer. Gosh, like, I think I have like six job titles. And depending on who I'm talking to, I might use different ones, just because of whatever rolls off my tongue. Do I say I'm a podcaster? Because I am. Do I say I'm a writer? Because I am. Do I say I'm a coach? Because I am. Do I say that I'm a retreat leader? Because I am. Do I say I'm a speaker? Because I am. Do I say I'm a mom? Because I am. So I want to just like, blow apart everything you've ever thought about purpose in that question of what do I want to be when I grow up, what do I do if I don't even know my purpose? The first step sister is shifting your idea of what purpose is. That it's not some one job that is out there. It is the unique way that you actively impact the world. And so it's active, we're always acting on it, it comes down to sharing your gifts, it comes down to doing the ideas that come to your heart, it comes down to being and it's active. So it's not going to be one static noun, like my purpose is to be an architect. And that's it. No, your purpose then is to build, to create, to develop wonder, to provide spaces that bring people alive. And purpose is impactful. In Hebrew, we have a term called tikkun olam. And it means to repair the world. I think it's probably the most fundamental Jewish value. Tikkun olam, to repair the world. And the idea is that each and every one of us is here to do our part in repairing the world. So the question is, what's your part? Now, I want you to think about that, your part. We are living in a world right now that needs a lot of repair. There is so much damage of people not listening to each other. There's so much damage to the environment, there's so much damage to human hearts that are called other and not included. So many laws being passed right now to exclude people from voting, to exclude people from getting to live in the transgender bodies that they have, laws being passed about women's rights and bodies, laws being passed all over the world that are suppressing rights instead of enabling rights. So much in the world about people not coming together and having conversation, so much in the world about our little kids not knowing that they can have dreams, that they can be and do anything, and that we can help them figure that out. So much in the world about our elderly not dying with dignity, with us not treating our elderly with the kind of respect that they deserve. And so, sister there is a lot of the world that needs repair. Fortunately, when every single woman is stepping forward as a Goddess on Purpose, doing her part, can you imagine? Like I just have this vision of the entire globe. And every single one of us in our own like Goddess attire, whatever that is for you. If it's like a three piece suit, rock it woman. If that is like white flowy gown, you rock that. If that is like leather gear, or if it is a Wonder Woman outfit for you, like I just have this picture of like each one of us standing on the world like literally picture a globe, all of these women, millions of us, standing in our power with our supershero Goddess on Purpose tools, repairing the world, doing our part.
And so, this first step to what if you don't know your purpose, but you want to, is this shift in what purpose even is. I want to open your mind because here's another thing that we know. Chances are if you're like the woman I spoke to the other day, you're in a pretty down space. And oh sister do I get it. When I felt so empty, I felt depressed. I felt lost, like there's nothing fun about being in that place. So when you don't know your purpose, we're in a negative place. It's actually called purpose anxiety. Think about that. Have you ever felt anxiety about your purpose? Have you ever felt anxiety about your purpose? I was just teaching a class maybe like, I don't know, 25 people about purpose. And as many of you have ever experienced purpose anxiety and boop, everyone raises their hand, right? Because when we think of purpose as like, oh, that thing I'm supposed to do in the world, like, this is my calling, this is what I'm here for, I've got to know what I want to be, it causes a lot of anxiety to find that one thing to figure out who we are. And I actually think that the anxiety can be healthy in some way if we check in like, oh, I'm looking at it from a negative perspective. Oh, what is it? What is it? What I want to do the second step, if you don't know your purpose, is to shift how you think about the search for purpose. Right? Because when we are searching for purpose, we're in a negative place. We're in stress, we're in that anxious oh my god, I don't know my purpose. Like, I feel lost. I feel depressed, I feel unhappy, something's missing. What is it? Okay, well, if you could see my body language right now, my muscles are all tense. It's like when you lose your keys, which I do all the freakin time. Or like, I once lost my car in the mall at Christmas time, like that was miserable. Just going aisle by aisle throughout the parking garage, trying to find my car, I was so like, stressed, I sat down on the floor of the parking garage and just cried. Since that is how we approach something being lost, or not being able to find something, then that's how we're going into our search for purpose. And here's what we know about biology. When you are in stress mode, when you're in that tense, anxious place, your body shuts down most of its systems in order just to be able to flee, or fight. And often we freeze, right? It's the fight flight freeze. Your brain literally shuts off its higher level thinking capabilities, your brain shuts off its ability to problem solve and be creative. You shut down your reproductive organs, your digestive organs, all of it because your body thinks that you are faced with a saber toothed tiger and need to fight it or die. And so that's how we're treating purpose. Like it's a saber toothed tiger that's going to eat us and is going to kill us. And so is it any wonder that we feel so much anxiety around it or so much depression around it or that we can't find it? So the second step sister is that we actually have to shift it. Instead of seeing purpose as something that we go find and puts us into a negative place, I want you to shift to curiosity instead. Curiosity is so juicy and delicious. Because curiosity is like an appetite of state of wonder. Wonder. Like I look at the world now through Shay's eyes like that was my desire going into this year, when I had my birthday, he was three months old. And I said I want this year to be a year I look at the world through Shea's eyes of wonder. And so we were taking a walk yesterday, and I had him in the carrier. And he started putting his hand out on the buds of a tree and just feeling them. Wonder, like, can you imagine what's going through his little brain at that moment? Trying to feel it and say, what is this? Huh? I'm so curious. Let me explore it. Let me feel it out. And then later, we had him in this like, I don't know, bouncy thing. And Josh was playing a game with him with this blue turtle. And so I took the blue turtle and I took it up high. And then he looked up high following my hand in the turtle. Looking at it was such wonder like, oh, what's up there? And I love watching him in that place of curiosity. He's not stressed, like, what is up there, oh my God? Or like, oh my god, what is that tree? No, he's in a place of delicious, open, positive curiosity. And here's what we know from the research. When you are curious, you are open. When you are open, you find more. When you find more, you put pieces together. When you start putting pieces together, it's fun. It's exciting. It's pleasurable. It's playful. And when you're in pleasure and play and fun, it regenerates. And then you can find even more. And so if you don't know what your purpose is at all, the second step is to shift into a place of curiosity, of positivity, of having that open mind. Listen to the difference it sounds like this. Huh? Let me get curious, like, when have I felt really alive and lit up? Huh, let me get curious like, oh, what did I want to be when I grew up? And like what information might be there? Like, tell me. Let me get curious like, what do I see other people doing? That seems interesting to me? Hmm, let me get curious like, what do people tell me is inspiring about me? Hmm, let me get curious, what are my supershero powers? Hmm, let me get curious what wisdom just sit in my heart? Do you see the difference? Being in that curiosity, in that positivity. What that does is it opens us up. And here's the beauty, we know from Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, who's the leading researcher on positivity. She has found in dozens of studies that when we are in a positive state of mind, literally your brain broadens, we can see more, right? Think about like when you're driving, and you look at that whole horizon view. That's what happens when your brain is on positivity. And in that place, what she finds, she calls it the broaden and build theory, that in that broadened state, we can then build additional resources for the future. What that means is in a broadened state, your brain sees more. As an example, there are a number of different ways that researchers can induce the state of positivity, negativity or neutrality. And then once these research participants were induced with a particular state, put into a particular state of mind, then they were shown different pictures of houses and real estate. And they actually saw more, they could remember more when they were on the positive state. That should blow your mind. Similar research was done where people were induced into these states, and then looked at different faces of different cultures and different nationalities and different races. And on a positive state, the race bias was actually eliminated, people were able to see the faces, identify individual people more. In other words, when we're in a positive state, we see more. So think about that. If you don't know what your purpose is, we have to shift you into that place of positivity and curiosity. That should blow your mind, sister. We've got to shift you into a place of positivity and curiosity. That is something that no one else is teaching you. And it's why in I goddess and purpose class, I curate it intentionally to create so much fun and joy and inspiration and positivity for you. Each week is a different theme. And starting in about week three, we start dressing up in different ways. Like I'll tell you what to do, one week is just like all black or one week is what being a supershero means to you. And it becomes so fun. And we do dance breaks. And we build this community and sisterhood. And we tell each other what we see in each other and it is inspiring. And you'll get into breakout rooms with other women and get to actually like connect around joy and around inspiration. This class is so powerful, because I'm using the science to support you in having that broadened mind. And it is critical. And it's why women are returning to this course for a second and a third time. And so if you don't know your purpose, we must shift you into that place of curiosity, into that place of positivity. And if you know your purpose, but you're feeling stuck and afraid of going for it, we need to do the same thing. We have to constantly bring you into a state. That's why women who have done the course before and are clear on their purpose are coming back, like one woman who did the course after her business shut down, she was in place of transition and did the course in order to get clear on what she wanted to do next. Well now she has another business up and running. And she's like, oh, I'm doing it again. She just signed up. Because now she wants to use the tools and have the inspiration and the sisterhood and my coaching to take her to the next level. Right, to become even more successful, to get it out there in the world more. Because the principles are the same. And we do an entire week on inspiration, an entire week on joy. Okay, but I digress. Okay, back to - but you get the point, right? So, for you sitting there right now, I want you to consciously think, how do I intentionally shift into a place of curiosity and positivity? Because it matters. The third step as we break down purpose is to think of it this way: I said it's the active way that you uniquely impact the world. The unique is be, it's be-ing, the active way is do-ing, and impacting is impacting others. So the most simple way to think of purpose, if you have no idea, is be, do, impact. Now, here's why being matters.
As I mentioned, there are no two people who are the same, no one has your same exact be-ing. One of my clients came to me, and she grew up in a family where it was expected that she would go into the family business, that she would marry a certain type of man, that she would live a certain type of life. And she did all of that. And then came to me and was like, I'm just - feel empty. Like yeah, I have all this stuff. I'm working for my dad, I have my husband, I have my child, but like, and I feel guilty, because I have so much, but she felt so much guilt. But like, I feel like I'm here for something. And so we did all these delicious exercises, all this opening that I mentioned to you, we got so into inspiration, I call it your UIQ, your unique inspiration quotient, like what is your inspiration? We did her supershero powers. And as we got clear, she knew she wanted to do something that was going to help people who are underserved advance, she's so passionate about it. She wants to write in justice. And so she wants to go to law school and become a judge. And she was in her mid 20s applying to law school with all these other students who are like 20 or 21, applying to law school. And she's like, I've been out of college for years. I don't have the grades that they do. I'm a mom, like, why would any law school want me? Now I'm sitting here going, because of all that, right? Because here you are 25, 26, 27 going back to law school, like that's freaking amazing, because you are a mom. And there's so much experience and talent that comes from that. Because of this wisdom that you could have just stayed at your dad's company and made a lot of money. But you want to do something powerful. Like if I'm reading that law school application, like I want her, right? But she couldn't see it. And so we used this formula. And we got down to exactly what was unique and different about her. And we went through her supershero powers and the one in 33 million, that no one else has it. So I said, okay, how many people applying to law school do you think have your exact superhero powers? She was like, I don't know, let's say like 20%. Okay, fine. 20%. And then we went through like her talents, what she's like, really good at doing, she's like amazing at negotiating. And she can work across the aisle. She's a democrat growing up in a republican family, like, she's really good at being able to have that communication. So we went through all of her special talents. And I said, Okay, so of the 20% who have your supershero powers? How many of them do you think are great at negotiating, working across an aisle, communicating? She was like, I don't know. Okay, let's say 10%. Okay, fine. So now we're 10% of the 20%. Like, do you see how unique and rare she is? Then we went through her passions, her passions for racial justice, her passions for women's rights, all of the different passions that she has. And I said, okay, so of the 10% of the 20%, right, this small number of people applying to law school, how many of them had those exact same passions? She was like, I don't know, let's say, I don't know. 5%. Do you see what a small number we're talking about here? And then I said, and here's the thing no one else has: your life experiences. This particular beautiful woman was born to be a donor, a Marrow Donor for her brother who had cancer. And there's a lot of life experience that came from that. There's a lot of life experience from growing up different than her family. There's a lot of life experience that comes from being in the marriage that she was in, from having the child that she had, a lot of life experience that came, she had already started a nonprofit when she was in college, I believe. So the wisdom that came from the life experiences. And as we put all of that together, instead of looking at anything as like a black mark on her, she became proud of who she is and like, oh my god, I'm like the bomb. Like I'm like, the best applicant out there. Like yes, you are. And so this is the be-ing and be-ing matters. Because there is no other you. Because you be-ing and owning, I'm talking about ownership here, sister, you want to know what to do when you don't know your purpose? We got to get into who you are and owning all of that as freaking amazing. Because the more confident you are, the more ownership you have of your being, your uniqueness, what makes you different and special, and not from a bad place, but from an amazing place. Like yeah, there are gonna be people who don't like you when you are your whole true self. That is true. And though if you suppress any of that you become depressed, you will hear me say that over and over and over again. We cannot suppress any part of ourselves, we must open ourselves up, supression leads to depression. And so her ownership, imagine that ripple effect on her child, owning how badass awesome she is and her baby knowing that.
That's purpose. Now she walks into every law school interview, owning that. And she got into several schools of her choice. That ownership, that being, that is huge. And so often I hear from women, I want to be who I was before I had kids, I've lost who I was. And so sister, yes, we want to get clear on who she was, and all of that, because she's still inside you, she hasn't gone away. And add that with who you are now, and all of the wisdom that's come from the years of raising your children or being in this particular job for 10 years, or whatever it might be. And that ownership, sister, if you want to know what your purpose is, and how to do it, it's ownership, right? So first, we're going to blow apart what purpose means, number one. Number two, we're going to get into the place of curiosity about who you are. And then number three, ownership of you. One of my clients came to me, she has two babies now, she used to like own a gym and be like so out in the community, and such a rockstar, and she's like, I've been a stay at home mom now. And like I don't even know, like I've lost everything. And so when - as we got her into like who she really is and her ownership, and then she like owned it, girlfriend went and dyed her hair back to pink the way that she used to, girlfriend started putting herself out on social media in the fun, silly, amazing, dancing way that she is. Girlfriend got her women's group started right away, girlfriend is already in a matter of, I don't know, like two months of coaching, made like $7,000, not that it's about money. But like, is already like, putting the groups together, putting the things together, getting your purpose out there because of owning who she is. This is why I want to get my hands on you and your purpose, because I want you out there in your equivalent of that. Another one my clients owning that she is sexy, that she is fierce that she is so full. And that's what makes her a unique and amazing coach and speaker and podcaster and mom, and we got her podcast started working together. And within about five episodes, she got a client from it, because someone was so drawn to her. So the being the ownership of being is so important. And sister if you're feeling like you don't know who you are anymore, or you're feeling like you can't show your whole self, because there is the people pleasing part of you, you don't want to upset anybody, you're afraid to like rock the boat at home, or whatever it is, if you are suppressing any part of you, the suppression will lead to depression. And so join me in deciding right now that you are going to own your being. Own your being. You know, we ask kids what they want to be when they grow up. But really, what we're asking is what job do you want to do? And then because we're asking that kids are learning not to be who they are. We all learn not to be who we are, because we're trying to think of what job we might want. Instead, the purpose process begins with being then moves to doing. People start with me often in coaching, they're like, Okay, I've got all these ideas of what I want to do, maybe I want to be a teacher, maybe I want to be an architect, I'm like, no, we're not going there yet. We're starting with your being, because society has said that it was wrong to be you. And it's so much more important that you own your being because that being then will lead to the doing, which leads then to the impacting. Are you following me here? Society has said that it was wrong to be us. Right? Like I've had a story that I'm too much, that if I go out there, and you really see all my wild dancing, and you see me as crazy as I am, and you see me as big as I am. And when I was a little girl, I wanted to be on stages, and I wanted everyone to love me and I wanted to be the star. I was a total ham. And the fear that if I put that out there on the social media, you all will hate me. More, there is like an internal part of me probably from lifetimes ago that you will burn me at the stake. Because I've had two past life remembrances. One where I was ostracized for being the medicine woman. And one, I was stoned to death. And I've had the experience of literally like going back into that moment. Being with myself as I died, and it was women in the village that were throwing stones and screaming at me and spitting at me for being a witch. And so we've been told that we are too much sister, raise your hand if you've been told you're too much. Or raise your hand if you've been told or you've thought you were not enough, and really don't most of us think that we're both not enough and too much at the same time? On the PurposeGirls Facebook group, I asked how many of you think that you were told you were too much and more than 50 women replied that they felt that way.
50 women, and so if we aren't being then we can't do, right? The doing then comes from the being. And the doing is getting quiet within yourself and allowing yourself to listen to the ideas, to the dreams, to the passions that come up. And the more you're in your being, the more the doing will come to you. And then here's the key sister with the doing. You have to listen to it. The idea comes and what often happens is our brain goes, No, you can't do that. Who do you think you are? You can't say that. One of my clients just put herself out there for the first time yesterday as the sensuality body love coach that she is. And she's been sitting on a video for more than a week that she wanted to put out. She was so afraid, so afraid, so afraid, right? Because if I put it out there, what will people say? They will judge me. And so she and I did like really amazing, beautiful work. But she had this knowing, this idea, she made the video. But the doing can be scary because of the stoning to death. Right, the ostracizing, the witch hunt. And so we did like these amazing exercises yesterday, and she put it out yesterday. That's the key. When the ideas and the dreams come for doing, you actually listened to them, and you act upon them. And this is where I find that I need a coach, I need sisters, I need cheerleaders, and I literally wouldn't be able to do and have done all that I've done in the last eight years without always having that combo in my life. Because I get stuck. I get scared. Do you know that the night before leading the Women's Day event when I had 2500 women signed up? I said to Josh I can't I can't I can't, I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I can't do it. I almost had a panic attack. And he was like, it's okay. It's okay. Right? I needed to like send a message to my coach, I need to check in with my sisters. A group that I'm in specifically of women living their purpose, coaches just like me, a mastermind, like I needed them to help me in that moment. And because I'm human, even though I do this for a living, I'm still human, I still have the fear. I still have all the voices that come up. And I need someone else who's holding me accountable. I need someone else who's seeing shadows that I don't see or who seeing blocks or who seeing ideas that I don't see. In fact, this same woman that I was mentioning that just put her video out yesterday, when she was in the Goddess on Purpose course maybe a year ago, she had barely said anything in the course. Right? I was noticing for a few weeks, like I had to pull things out of her. And so I just had an intuition based on what I had seen about her being a coach. And I mentioned it to her to one day in class. She said, Oh my God, I've never told anyone that, that I want to be that. How did you know? And I said, it's just what I do, I can see women's dreams, I can see women's purpose. I'm a woman's whisperer. And she got like tears, like she'd never felt so seen. Because I was able to see her and mirror for her. And now she's actually doing it. And that's why I always have a coach too. It's so important. Because that then holds me accountable to doing and then I can make the impact I'm here to make. And so sister, if you don't know what you want to be when you grow up, you don't know what your purpose is. Be clear on these steps. One, hopefully this episode has shifted you about what purpose is. Two, you're getting into a place of curiosity, joy, possibility, wonder. Three, you're focusing in on owning your being, who you are, being all of you. Four, you're doing, you're actually listening and taking action on the ideas that come to you. Rather than shooting them down, you're taking action. And then necessarily, when you're doing all that, five, you're gonna be impacting. Because how you show up. Can you imagine what your kids will think of you when you're showing up that way? Like, can you imagine the ripple effect in the world? Like think about that. You're actually showing up alive, happy, fulfilled. Now, what's your daughter like?
No, what does your son see? Now what do your friends notice? This woman I mentioned who put the video out yesterday, she got a message from one of her friends on Facebook, that because of her, she was going to go do something sensual and sexy for herself. Impact immediately. Another one of my clients, when she first came to me, probably I don't know, five or six years ago, and she wasn't sure if she wanted to work with me. She wasn't sure if she should do the program. She was scared like, could she afford it all? All that, was the money worth it? I said to her what do you want your kids thinking of mom? Tears. She started streaming tears. She said I want them to see mom happy, fulfilled going for her dream so that they know that they can. Fast forward five or six years. Her daughter is a teenager maybe 15 16 17 I'm not sure. And her daughter is like rocking it out. She's so herself. She's so like strong in who she is, she's so going for her dreams. And her daughter says I'm a mini you, mom. Like I'm doing it because of you. You show me the way. Talk about purpose sister. So yes, there is this like thing that you can do in the world. And that's what these women are doing. And they are impacting and living purpose right at home where it matters most. That, sister, answers the question. What if you don't know your purpose? So my love, so many juicy nuggets. I want to hear from you what you got from this episode. Send me a message, Carin@CarinRockind.com. I want to hear what you're taking away. And you need help with all this? You need help and support getting into that place of curiosity and joy? You need help with the doing and the accountability and the taking action? You need help overcoming all the negative mind chatter that tells you you can't or you shouldn't then join Goddess on Purpose. We start in eight days. Oh no, wait, that's when I'm taping. From when this episode airs, it's six days sister get your booty in that class. Like I know I'm saying in a million times. I'm saying it because I believe in it, because this class is that good. It's that good that women are signing up for a second and third round, because they freaking love it, because it moves them forward, because it gets them clear, because it gives them what they need to be living their purpose now. So I know you've been lurking, listening to the PurposeGirl Podcast for so long. I know you get so much out of this. I know it and imagine how much more when I get to coach you personally and I know you and I know your purpose and I can see you and I can move you forward. So yeah, I'm going to be annoying telling you to join this class because it's so freakin good and juicy and fun and you will feel so alive. It's like I put a message out to my community about like, who wants to go on retreat and after the pandemic like everybody was like, give me this, like a retreat every single week. Okay? Because you have me you have this community of supportive women like you've never had in your life, women who are cheerleading you, who love you, who support you, who will love you when you ugly cry, who - all of it, who see only the best in you and you will get so super clear and so focused and so moving forward. So join us, Goddess on Purpose course dot com. Do not wait even one minute. If it sparks your heart just go sign up now. Just go do it. Don't wait because when you wait that is the negative voice that's coming up that's telling you not to do it. So don't wait just go sign up right now, sister. You will love it you will not regret it. Do not have FOMO, go do that now. With that my love, I hope you loved this episode of the PurposeGirl Podcast. If you did and you haven't left your five star review yet, go over to Apple podcasts or wherever you listen and leave your five star review and one sentence right now so that women all over the world can find the PurposeGirl Podcast and love it to go over to Goddess on Purpose course dot com, sign up right now. If you need a special payment plan, just send me an email. Totally happy to do that. And of course, share this episode with every woman you know, that's how we change the world one woman at a time. With that, my love, may you live purposefully, may you love yourself and may you love life. Bye for now.