When was the first time you remember feeling “fat”? Or “ugly”? Or “too thin”, feeling ashamed of cellulite, acne, wrinkles, and body hair? When did you begin feeling body SHAME?

I was 8 the first time someone told me I was “big.” It was my friend Rachel's birthday party and we were making bracelets. Her mom pulls me and one other girl aside and whispers that she got larger rope for our wrists. My heart beat out of my chest, my cheeks burned of embarrassment. I felt like a cow.

I know you call yourself names too. We all do.

I'm asking you to say “NO MORE.” You deserve better than nasty name-calling. You deserve to love yourself. As is. Now.

It took intentional daily tools for me to finally look in the mirror and love who I see. You may think it's easy for me, but it isn't and wasn't. I want to teach these tools to you NOW so that you can change your body image and love who you are as is.

Introducing Succeed As You webinar: Love Your Body!
I'm excited to announce that I am joining forces with the amazing Taylor Strecker of SiriusXM Wake Up! With Taylor to bring you a live, interactive, and transformative girls-night-in webinar May 18th: Love Your Body. We're getting real, and sharing our personal stories of shame, as well as bonding together to learn three easy-to-use tools to feel better about yourself NOW. {click here for info and to register}

No more calling yourself fat or ugly or a cow. No more focusing on wrinkles instead of the wonder of your smile. No more anger at your thighs instead of kindness toward your heart. Don't you deserve better? Who decided what you are supposed to look like anywho? A magazine? A man? A nasty girl in 5th grade?

They don't get to control you anymore. The shaming isn't helping you lose weight or be healthy (it's actually working against you, which I'll explain in the webinar), and we're teaching young girls to hate their bodies and themselves.

You are in control of your own life. You deserve to feel good about yourself. You deserve to feel GREAT in life! You can step into your power, take control and begin to change how you see your body. I will show you how using tools that I use every day.

Join us! {click here for info and to register}

About Succeed As You: Love Your Body

I've found over and over that in order to thrive, I need a community of women who get me and support me. During this “girls' night in” live event, you'll join a community of women who are struggling with the same issues, so we can all support one another. In our community, we UPLIFT one another to greatness. We've held four of these webinars (Happiness, Love, Career, and Friendships) and in each one, we laugh, we cry, and we take a stand for being GREAT – as we were born to be.

 

What you get when you register for Succeed As You: Love Your Body…
*90 minute live webinar with Q/A
*Proven tools to decrease shame and increase well-being
*The recording to watch over and over
*A customized workbook I designed to love yourself more

And if you can't make it live, register anyway to get the workbook and recording. Join us! {click here for info and to register}

We can't wait to be with you for a transformative night when we all COLLECTIVELY DECLARE “NO MORE” Body shame and we CHOOSE Body LOVE instead!!!!

With so much love,
Carin

Your SPARK for this week: To change, make changes.

I was recently on SiriusXM talking about how to create healthy habits. My dear friend and radio host, Taylor Strecker, wants to look good by bikini season. (Don't we all?) She wants to have a steady workout routine. (Sounds good.) She wants to love her body…. (Us too.)… But she hadn't been able to get herself to the gym. (Sound familiar?)

I get it. I'm sure you do too. You commit to health at 7 am, then eat the doughnut by 11. You commit to run after work, then watch Real Housewives with a bottle of wine instead. You commit to following your dream career, then take on new responsibilities at your old job instead.

So as the late positive psychologist, Chris Peterson, asked, “When we know what we know, why do we do what we do?” Peterson made this brilliant statement to show us just how much we resist making changes. We know we're supposed to eat green leafy vegetables. We know we're supposed to meditate, work out, and take time for ourselves. So why don't we?

Fear. It's that simple. You're afraid to make change. You're getting some sort of reward out of the old habit, so your brain keeps doing it. For one of my clients on my New Hope in New Hope retreat this weekend, she's afraid to separate from her husband because, while the known may be miserable, at least it's known, plus, she fears what others will say.

What reward are you getting from staying the same? What are you really afraid of? And more importantly, why do you want this change? How will you feel when you make it? What will you be able to do or have? Who will you be when you create a new healthy habit?

One of my students wanted to lose weight, but he kept framing it as a “should” – which is totally uninspiring, demotivating, and drab. Instead, another student asked him why. He began envisioning a date with his handsome, in-shape husband. He pictured the sexy pants he'd wear out. He got excited about feeling like a hot couple about town. THAT POSITIVE IMAGE motivated him. He then created small changes, asked others to hold him accountable, and made it happen.

Josh had been inspiring me around making change big-time. After our miscarriage we stopped exercising and for months we'd said we needed to start running again. Then one day, a friend said that he had run every day for 6 years so Josh put his shoes on and vowed to run every day. It's been 156 days so far and he got me to run a 5 mile race last weekend!

I also just made some dietary changes to improve my “gut” health. Watch the video below to learn how to make your own changes!

And here are a few tips about making change:

1. Be Intentional. Every change begins with a decision, a commitment, an intention. Write your intention out and look at it daily.
2. Know Why: Why do you want what you want? How will you feel when you have it? What will you then have? Envision yourself feeling and being this great way.
3. Take ONE small step: Break the goal into SMALL changes and make one at a time. Too many changes are overwhelming so just do one thing.

Also, it's best to have others support you in making change. I'm offering to hold all of you accountable and cheerlead you on! Just join my Facebook group and share the change you want to make and why. We'll do it together!

XOXO,
Carin

PS – Please share the love. If you have friends who you know are ready to live their joy, please share this link with them so they can sign up to receive this newsletter. Thanks!
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JOIN ME LIVE at one of these Upcoming Events!
May 5: WakeUP! with Taylor SiriusXM 109 appearance, 8:10 am ET
May 18: Love Your Body Webinar with Taylor Strecker – Click here to register
May 19: WakeUP! with Taylor SiriusXM 109 appearance, 8:10 am ET
May 19: JUF Young Women's Council Event, Chicago, IL Click here to register.

Also… after a previous newsletter, many of you asked me for more information on the 4 month Fab Fierce Feminine group program and about the Positive Psychology certification I teach – we'll be in 12 cities worldwide this Fall (I'm teaching in Miami, FL!): Click here for info,.

Your SPARK for the week: Get out and PLAY! Right now. Whatever you're doing, drop it (including reading this email) and go play.

I know – there's no time for play. And you feel guilty taking time “off” for you. You have carpool to drive, and dinner to make, and client reports to send. That's why you're so depleted and run down. You need to laugh. You need to smile. You need Play. And not just on vacation – You need it. Every. Single. Day.

Maybe you feel silly playing. Like if you stood up from your desk suddenly and started head-banging to Led Zeppelin. Or if you started a conga line in your office right this second! Or if you dressed up in costume to make breakfast for your teenagers. (Oh. My. G-d, Dad, you're so embarrassing.) It's silly! That's the point.

Research shows that laughter boosts your immune system, is good for your heart, and is contagious. That's probably why University of Michigan business professor Jane Dutton recommends play for business teams.

Play ignites your brain to better solve problems and be more creative. Play releases feel-good endorphins. Play is exercise. Play helps you bond to others. When you're dying for a candy bar at 3 pm, play can wake you up instead. And when you feel stuck – stuck in life, stuck in your job, stuck on an unsolvable challenging problem, or stuck trying to find your purpose – play helps your brain relax, and body unwind… therefore, you can suddenly think more clearly. That's why kids have recess and why we use play to teach Positive Psychology (this pic is from my class).

Plus, if you're searching for your purpose, there's no better clue than play, because when you live your purpose, it feels like play. Literally, that's how I uncovered my purpose to empower others. I looked back at when I felt the most alive and when I had the most fun, and it was always uplifting others.

In fact, when you play, you inspire others.

So, how are you going to play this week? I'm going to sing and dance and play at my New Hope in New Hope retreat this weekend. Here are some ideas for you:
* Run through the sprinklers
* Belt out Journey's “Don't Stop Believing”
* Take yourself for ice cream & ask for sprinkles
* Have an impromptu dance party in the kitchen
* And of course, wear silly hats (This pic is from my Purpose in Paris retreat last year!)

Whatever you do, make play part of every day and watch JOY happen!

XOXO,
Carin

 

 

 

 

 

PS – Please share the love. If you have friends who you know are ready to live their joy, please share this link with them so they can sign up to receive this newsletter. Thanks!
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Upcoming Events:
April 29 – May 1: One spot left for New Hope in New Hope Retreat! Click here to join us.
May 18: Love Your Body Webinar with Taylor Strecker – Click here to register
May 19: WakeUP! with Taylor SiriusXM 109 appearance, 8:10 am ET
May 19: I'm speaking at JUF Young Women's Council Event, Chicago, IL Click here to register.

Also… after last week's newsletter, many of you have asked me for more information on the 4 month Fab Fierce Feminine group program (that's a pic of the women jumping in joy up above) and about the Positive Psychology certification I teach – we'll be in 12 cities worldwide this Fall (I'm teaching in Miami, FL!): Click here for info,.

Your Monday inspiration this week: Trust yourself.

Trust your heart.
Trust your gut.
Trust when your body says “NO” and your brain says “it's not a big deal – it will be okay.”
Trust when your body gets juiced up and excited and feels ALIVE that this is a YES for you.
Trust yourself enough to know that you make good decisions.
Even if you've made some in the past that seemed “bad” – they weren't. Trust that they were all part of your learning journey on this earth.
And trust that everything you need you already have inside of you.
In other words, trust that you have needed every moment – the good and the challenging – to fulfill your true destiny.
Trust that you indeed have a destiny.
Trust that you are here for purpose.
Trust that there is NO ONE ELSE exactly like you – who has the sum of all of your life experiences, who has your exact strengths and talents and voice.
Trust your voice enough to speak it.
Trust me when I say that we need you living fully alive.
Trust, my love, trust.

I'm writing this to you from sunny Vero Beach, FL, where I've been spending a full day empowering a beautiful soul to expand into her full self, spread her wings, and soar. After 10 years of not trusting that she can fulfill her destiny, here is a picture of her from our time yesterday at the beach, trusting that she KNOWS who she is and what she is here to do. I want this for you too. So today, trust. You've earned it and you deserve it.

Here's a meditation I taped from the beach this morning to help you align and trust.
Morning Meditation on the Beach: Trust

I'd love to hear how you are trusting yourself! Reply on the blog or send me a note.

xoxo,
Carin

PS – Spread the love… If you have friends who you know are ready to fulfill their destiny and SOAR, please share this link with them so they can sign up to receive my newsletter. Thanks for spreading the love.

PPS – I am so excited for the New Hope retreat April 29 – May 1, all about blossoming into your full, true self, so if you wanted to join but couldn't because of the original date, you can still join us now. We have one more spot available! Click here to join us!

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Upcoming Events:
April 7: WakeUP! with Taylor SiriusXM 109, 9:10 am
April 9/10: Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology (CAPP) program, San Francisco
April 15/16: Fab, Fierce, Feminine Philadelphia Retreat
April 21: WakeUP! with Taylor SiriusXM 109, 9:10 am
April 29 – May 1: OPEN retreat for women wanting change, hope, and Springtime play in New Hope, PA. Click here to join us.

Your Spark of inspiration for the week: I get to choose.

You get to choose nearly every aspect of your life – who you are friends with, if you hold a grudge, how you react to your kids, where you work, and your happiness.

This may sounds crazy or simplistic, or impossible. I get it. Though I've known the research on this for a long time, I have continuously fought it.

I'm ashamed to admit this to you, but I've been holding a grudge… I've been resentful of my husband for moving to Philadelphia, and have had temper tantrum about it for a year. I've yelled at him, tried to make him feel guilty, and resisted any possibility of enjoying life here – as if by resisting I was hurting the city. I wasn't. I was only hurting myself and the man I love.

I was choosing unhappiness. Can you relate? What are you resisting? Where are you choosing unhappiness?

This smacked me in the face at the end of last year. I was still recuperating from my miscarriage, healing from losing my dog, dealing with two family crises, and feeling incredibly lonely. That's when I realized that my loneliness was of my own doing. Had I embraced the city and made friends, I may have had an easier time. I may have found comfort and a quicker path to happiness.

When you are unhappy in a situation, you have 3 choices:
1. Change the situation. (In my case, that would mean leave Philadelphia)
2. Change how you think about it. (See this as an opportunity to make new friends, build a community, and create a home.)
3. Choose to stay unhappy. (What I did for the last year.)

Research proves that at least 40% of happiness is in your control. How will you choose to live – fully in joy or making yourself miserable?

I know it may not be easy, and I'm doing it with you. Little by little this year, I've been choosing happiness here. We moved into a beautiful home that I love, I ordered my dream bed, and started decorating with pieces that make me happy. This weekend we pulled weeds, and began planning a garden. And this month, I began reaching out for friends. We joined a synagogue, I sent out an email looking for a book club, and I've been asking people for dinner or coffee dates. Then just yesterday while driving to the grocery store, a smile came to my lips and an overwhelming feeling of peace flooded my body. I realized: I am happy. Here. Now.

So how can you choose happiness now? How can you create joy now? The research is clear about this too – positivity brings more positivity (just like negativity brings more negativity). So, what matters is that you choose what makes you happy now.

Here's a video I taped for you WITH MY 4 MONTH OLD PUPPY about this:

It's all a choice and you get to choose. I'd love to see how you choose happiness! Reply on the blog or send me a note.

With so much love,
Carin

PS – If you have friends who are going through challenging times and would these tips, please share this link with them so they can sign up to receive them. I want to be able to help as many people as I can. Thanks for spreading the love.

PPS – We had to postpone the New Hope retreat until April 29 – May 1, so if you wanted to join but couldn't because of the date, you can still join us now. Click here to join us.